To feel really down about myself..

[namechangedaily]

I had a baby on Monday after having a difficult hyperemesis pregnancy that really took its toll on me mentally.
I'm happy she's here and the pregnancy is over but I just feel so shit about myself. I look so gaunt and unwell, I can't even remember how I used to dress and all I seem to have left is frumpy tunics.. I had my hair cut when I was pregnant and they made a right mess now I'm stuck with a fringe I can't seem to tame. I just feel like crying.. I got rid of a lot of clothes in lockdown I can't even remember what they were but I'm kicking myself thinking have I given all my nice clothes away.. I don't even have nice shoes anymore just scuffed trainers.. I just don't know where "i've" gone. I'm not working so can't afford new clothes. I don't want to see people as I feel I have nothing to wear and just look hideous. Pic of me when I last felt confident vs pic on me now with my shitty fringe.
Has anyone else felt this way?

I think you look lovely (and I'm honestly not saying that to amuse you)

Obviously how you feel in yourself is a different matter and completely valid, but I think you look wonderful on both photos.

Congratulations! Both you and the baby look gorgeous.

I was looking at post-birth photos with my 10-ye-old DC2 the other day and I assure you I looked 100x worse 😆 you can feel the pure exhaustion in those pics!

The fringe is not for you, I agree, but it’ll grow out.

How are your finances set up? Can you tell your DP that you need some clothes and another pair of shoes as it’s effecting your MH a bit not to feel ‘normal’?

Aww bless you...i saw the other fringe thread. You look fab either way. If it's any consolation i looked like a troll after giving birth compared to you!

It's funny how we perceive ourselves but you do look lovely. And I'm not saying that to be polite either.

Your fringe will grow and get on vinted you'll find lots of cheap good quality clothes for sale.

Be kind to yourself your body has been through so much.

I'm not sure if youre even being genuine because you are seriously gorgeous.

I think you look great!

One thing that helped me when I was struggling with how I looked in photos with DD, was to try and see it through the eyes of DD looking back in a photo album in 20 years time. I’ve seen photos from shortly after I was born and I didn’t look at them and think “wow mums skin looks shit! Look at the bags under her eyes!”, I looked at them with love and affection

Congratulations on your sweet baby!

I think you look beautiful before and after. Pregnancy is no joke, it affects people so drastically it's not suprising you feel different. You'll settle into the new you and find clothes that are practical, comfortable and make you feel good. Can you afford to do some second-hand clothes shopping? It might help if you can try a few different items on so you get the feel of what you want to wear.

Have you spoken to your midwife or health visitor about your feelings? You mentioned you've struggled mentally through this pregnancy, this could be post-natal depression or at least the beginning of it. Make sure someone you trust knows how you're feeling so they can keep an eye on you, and reach out to professionals if you feel this is worse than you can cope with.

Why are people on here going on about the OP looks. They are of no importance. Op your fringe is fine. People who know you well would not judge you on your clothes.

Thank you everyone x

You look better a week after having a baby than I do 3.5 years after having mine!

The only difference between the 2 (as said by others) is the make up, fring and the 2nd photo is at a more flattering angle.

Thank you everyone for your kind comments. I just don't know what's wrong with me or why I don't feel like myself or can even remember who that was. I think it's maybe having a baby off the back of lockdown I've forgotten how to make myself feel attractive. I'm trying to tell myself I wouldn't have given away any clothes I really liked but it's doing my head in thinking what did I actually give away and is that why I feel I've got nothing left to wear?
I'm hoping my fringe grows soon.. does anyone know if a hairdresser could thin in out? Maybe once I start being able to look after myself better and eating properly again it'll show in my face too x

You've just lost a bit of your identity because your now a mum and spend a lot of time at home (presumably) it happens, it happened to me too, I dealt with it by going to every baby group in my area, forcing myself out of the house, forcing myself to be sociable even if I felt awful, the days that there were no groups I'd go to the nearest town, have a walk around, get fresh air, look at the make up stands, maybe get a lipstick or a nail polish. Small treats that make you feel good. It's a difficult time, everything has changed for you but gradually you will feel better. Try not to worry about the clothes you've got rid of, they've gone, time to start thinking about the new you. Maybe think about what new clothes you'd like? Save up if you can, or maybe your birthdays coming up or Christmas. Ask for vouchers or money if they wouldn't mind.

How are you even thinking about this 6 days after giving birth??

Congratulations!

Also car boot sales are great for clothes, and anything else really.

@BusterGonad that's true.. what good is it focusing and trying to think of the clothes I've got rid of cos they are gone and thinking about them won't magic them back. I can't have wanted them that much I suppose to give them away in the first place maybe I'm just thinking about them through rose tinted glasses.
I bought a new dress yesterday and put some make up on today, I don't look amazing but feel a bit better I suppose.

Love the dress and you have a beautiful smile!

Do you ladies own many clothes? What kind of things do you wear?

The difference between the two photos is just confidence. Also a bit of makeup 😂. You’ll get back to that. For now just do one bit of self care every day. Hand the baby to someone and go and lie in the bath with a face pack on. Get a massage if you can, get your hair cut, or a gel manicure. Do things just for you and no one else. You are a mummy but YOU still matter. Make a wish list of clothes and styles you like and tell yourself you will get them when you can afford them. You could also look in some charity shops if you have time to see if there is anything you like.

I bet the clothes you got rid of would probably look a bit dated now so you did the right thing getting rid.

Give yourself time and love.

You look gorgeous by the way, as does you baby

Also - where is your dress in the last photo from?? It’s lovely! 😂

You look beautiful! And so does your baby. Hormones can do all sorts of weird things to the brain. Don’t listen to that negative voice in your head and enjoy bonding with your lovely baby xx

I recently got rid of loads of my clothes, we moved countries and I had about 25kg for all my worldly goods. I literally have one pair of smart sandals, trainers, boots and flat sandals, about 5 dresses, 4 pairs of jeans, a few shorts, 2 cardigans and about 10 tshirts, 2 denim skirts. 80% of my wardrobe I gave away, over the past few months I've bought 5 dresses (3 knee length and 2 midi's) and today I ordered some leather converse trainers. I'm planning to gradually restock my wordrobe. I'm taking my time to choose the right things. What I have been buying is new make up as it really helps me to feel good about myself, it's something that doesn't require weight loss or any negatively about my body. Your new dress is lovely op and you look happier already.

Thank you everyone x

I live in t-shirts, jeans and trainers, with a jumper if it's cold. If you're just in the house with the baby, it's easy to fall into wearing comfortable clothes. Maybe a nice top would make you feel better.

I was still in my dressing gown! You look amazing I wouldn't believe you just have had a baby. Your baby is gorgeous x