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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

So stressed help me know what to do

54 replies

Daisy1245 · 25/09/2021 12:45

I've been searching for a house swap for ages to a certain area. I need this area for family circumstances. Haven't been able to get anywhere near the area I want. So hooray I now have a three way swap. I've been to view it. This is outing but..... the whole house is under CCTV. Drugs and DV. Dog shit everywhere. Damage to doors. No window key. Whole thing needs painting. Whole garden needs doing. All that I could do overtime. But the thing is I only have enough to move house. I'm on a really low income and not entitled to anything else. I don't want to borrow money after being debt free for a couple years as I know I can't pay it back. So the thing is this house is overwhelming stinky. I think the floors are all soaked in animal piss. I was gagging leaving the property. The damage to all doors I couldn't ever afford to replace. My budget would be like a tin of paint a month. I have never had a swap ready for paper work and I'm so upset. This house is few years old so these tenants have done it all. I go from gutted, to stressed, to oh just take it. But then I picture my children breathing in the smell. I honestly don't know what to do. I'm worried if she rips up flooring the piss could be underneath soaked in floorboards. Plus I can't afford carpets I haven't had any for so long. I guess I was looking forward to feeling carpet under my feet again. I know that's hypocritical as the lady having mine won't have carpet. But the rest of my house and garden is immaculate. So I do my best with what I can afford. The lady having mine doesn't mind as she can financially afford it. Whereas I wouldn't. The carpet wouldn't be a deal breaker for me if it was immaculate like mine. Another huge thing is I can't afford to change the locks. Her ex has a key so needs to be done immediately. This lady just doesn't care and she is moving to an amazing house. Plus I can't really trust her in regards to rent arrears or antisocial behaviour. What do I do mumsnetters. Will we even be safe there? Will we get sick from the smell?

OP posts:
Chewieboora · 25/09/2021 12:46

No. That would be utter madness.

FrownedUpon · 25/09/2021 12:48

Don’t do it. Sounds awful.

idontlikealdi · 25/09/2021 12:49

Why would you put yourself through that?

If piss has gone through the floorboards you'll never get rid of the smell and will need to rip up and redline for a start.

TowandaForever · 25/09/2021 12:49

If this is a council swap presumably they won't leave it in this condition or do they have no part in it?

TheWonderCat · 25/09/2021 12:50

Don’t do it, it would be utter madness and you’ll regret it.

Ilikewinter · 25/09/2021 12:50

What?????
So im assuming here but this will be either council or HA so if the property has been that trashed wont they make the property habitable before you move in?
How can she still be allowed to live there with the home trashed?

Daisy1245 · 25/09/2021 12:51

This is a HA swap.

OP posts:
3luckystars · 25/09/2021 12:52

No you cannot move into that house.
Cop on. You have children to think about. They come before any other family circumstances.

Keep looking and don’t give up. Good luck.

LagunaBubbles · 25/09/2021 12:53

What kind of swap is it? Surely if its council they will clean it up?

TaraR2020 · 25/09/2021 12:53

Don't do it

Gingernaut · 25/09/2021 12:53

Are the HA aware of the state of the place?

Are the tenants being evicted?

DamnUserName21 · 25/09/2021 12:54

Is it just the house or is the whole area rough?

Based on what you've said, I'd stay put.

Whitefire · 25/09/2021 12:55

If there is that much trouble how has she been allowed to pursue a mutual exchange?

WhoUsedMyName · 25/09/2021 12:57

Don't do it op!
You will be crazy and miserable. Will be such a huge regret then you will not get anyone wanting to swap with you to get you out. HA won't do anything you sign declarations that you take it as it is and sort it yourself

Daisy1245 · 25/09/2021 12:57

No the tenant isn't being evicted she would be moving to a lovely house. I guess I just wanted to hear from people if I was being fussy as it's ha. And if I should just be grateful for a swap as a swap is honestly like hold dust.

OP posts:
Looubylou · 25/09/2021 12:59

I work with families who have been offered appalling housing by local councils. It's take it or leave it - the cleaning decorating and flooring is down to you. If you decline properties you are then considered lower priority ie you can't be that desperate. Don't go OP - for your children's sake.

Blueuggboots · 25/09/2021 13:00

I think you should contact the HA and ask them what they are prepared to do to make it habitable before you agree anything...

Merryoldgoat · 25/09/2021 13:00

There is no way I’d take that move - you’d be bloody insane to.

Daisy1245 · 25/09/2021 13:00

The area is fine. The CCTV and state of house is her family circumstances.

OP posts:
Chloemol · 25/09/2021 13:06

Nope wouldn’t do it

I would also report the house to the HA so they can take a look and get tenants to sort it

SmileyClare · 25/09/2021 13:06

No you can't afford it, there's probably more damage than you realise, the tenants won't clear their stuff out properly meaning several trips to the dump, you may well have people turning up at your door at all times of night if tenants were dealing, you may have bailiffs knocking and the Housing Association won't help if it's a swap organised amongst yourselves.

In summary, it's a big fat No from me.

How desperate is your need to move where your family are?

BrilliantBetty · 25/09/2021 13:09

No, I wouldn't do it. Sounds horrible. Why do you need to move so badly to the area

Stompythedinosaur · 25/09/2021 13:12

There's no way I'd take that house, it sounds like a nightmare. How badly do you need the swap?

QueenBee52 · 25/09/2021 13:14

not a chance ... don't do this OP you are being shafted

Daisy1245 · 25/09/2021 13:18

My need to move is a big one. I don't really want to go in why. But obviously I'd never risk my children's health. I'll have to keep looking. I honestly just didn't know if it was salvageable or if I was being fussy as it's HA and swaps are so hard to get. I've probably got swept up in all. So thanks for making me see sense.

OP posts: