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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

So stressed help me know what to do

54 replies

Daisy1245 · 25/09/2021 12:45

I've been searching for a house swap for ages to a certain area. I need this area for family circumstances. Haven't been able to get anywhere near the area I want. So hooray I now have a three way swap. I've been to view it. This is outing but..... the whole house is under CCTV. Drugs and DV. Dog shit everywhere. Damage to doors. No window key. Whole thing needs painting. Whole garden needs doing. All that I could do overtime. But the thing is I only have enough to move house. I'm on a really low income and not entitled to anything else. I don't want to borrow money after being debt free for a couple years as I know I can't pay it back. So the thing is this house is overwhelming stinky. I think the floors are all soaked in animal piss. I was gagging leaving the property. The damage to all doors I couldn't ever afford to replace. My budget would be like a tin of paint a month. I have never had a swap ready for paper work and I'm so upset. This house is few years old so these tenants have done it all. I go from gutted, to stressed, to oh just take it. But then I picture my children breathing in the smell. I honestly don't know what to do. I'm worried if she rips up flooring the piss could be underneath soaked in floorboards. Plus I can't afford carpets I haven't had any for so long. I guess I was looking forward to feeling carpet under my feet again. I know that's hypocritical as the lady having mine won't have carpet. But the rest of my house and garden is immaculate. So I do my best with what I can afford. The lady having mine doesn't mind as she can financially afford it. Whereas I wouldn't. The carpet wouldn't be a deal breaker for me if it was immaculate like mine. Another huge thing is I can't afford to change the locks. Her ex has a key so needs to be done immediately. This lady just doesn't care and she is moving to an amazing house. Plus I can't really trust her in regards to rent arrears or antisocial behaviour. What do I do mumsnetters. Will we even be safe there? Will we get sick from the smell?

OP posts:
RickJames · 25/09/2021 13:19

No no no no no!

I think it would certainly damage you and your children's mental health and quite possibly your physical health too.

Franklyfrost · 25/09/2021 13:35

I think it depends on how much time you want to give to it.

Paint is very easy to get on life’s a gift etc. So if you have the time, and a paintbrush you can sort the walls out.

I’d be okay taking the carpets up, scrubbing the floors and asking for rugs/carpet on life’s a gift and the house being a work in progress for a while. But it might bother you.

The locks need to be changed. You might be able to buy a new barrel rather than a whole new lock. But it will cost money.

It depends on how much time you have, how badly you want to move, how you feel about having a big project and how much longer you’d have to wait for another house in the area to turn up.

QueenBee52 · 25/09/2021 13:48

@Daisy1245

My need to move is a big one. I don't really want to go in why. But obviously I'd never risk my children's health. I'll have to keep looking. I honestly just didn't know if it was salvageable or if I was being fussy as it's HA and swaps are so hard to get. I've probably got swept up in all. So thanks for making me see sense.

put it this way...

Would the HA officer move into it ?

Hell no so why would you

QuestionEverythingOrBeASheep · 25/09/2021 13:59

Honestly!!!

Why on earth would anyone in their right mind subject themselves to this way of living. There is no way in hell you will get a swap to get out of that hell hole if you put yourself into it.

RandomMess · 25/09/2021 14:18

Can you speak with the HA and see if they have any responsibilities to make it clean and habitable?

caketiger · 25/09/2021 14:32

Speak to the housing association concerned. They can only say no. Surely its in their interest to get it tenanted with a good Tennant.

JustanuthaLockdown · 25/09/2021 17:56

I work in this area. The HA aren't obligated to do anything other than what their normal repairs would be- not the current tenants damage. If the area is good and you need this swap this bad I would think about it. I know how long people wait for the right swaps. The HA may change the locks for you on a repayment plan basis. I would imagine once the carpets/flooring is up and the house is freshly painted the smell would go. Can you start putting a few ££s away for just cheap white/magnolia paint for when you move in- and then decorate down the line properly. Def speak to the HA about the lock change.

TheWonderCat · 25/09/2021 18:04

Animal piss soaked into floors doesn’t just disappear though.

BluebellsGreenbells · 25/09/2021 18:08

Locks - £10 for a normal lock £20 if it a PVC door - unscrew and change the lock in 10 mins - it’s not difficult or expensive

Floorboards - maybe ok if you lift the carpet and air the property -

SmileyClare · 25/09/2021 18:10

I think it's pretty awful that someone who works for an HA is encouraging you to take this house.

You really think it's acceptable for an HA tenant paying rent to live in those conditions? The house is covered in dog excrement and urine, the doors are all smashed (fire hazard) and Op is a single mum with no money to spare. How is she supposed to renovate, make the house safe and hygienic for children or borrow money to change the locks?

The fact that a violent ex partner has keys to this property is a serious issue.

Disgraceful advice from someone who works in this area, although not that surprising.

JustanuthaLockdown · 25/09/2021 19:20

@SmileyClare

I don't work for a HA. I said I work in this area. I'm not encouraging- it's entirely down to her. But mutual exchanges are what they are, an agreement between 2 tenants with a social housing tenancy. She is not being offered the property by the HA and encouraged to take it. She has found the swap herself. If the reasons that she needs to move are as serious as she indicates then this may be the best for her and her family long term, she mentions that she has been waiting for a swap in this area for a long time, and sounds like she doesn't have much choice in location given the family ties. She doesn't have to take it- no body is forcing her- she will just have to weigh things up.

JustanuthaLockdown · 25/09/2021 19:21

@SmileyClare oh, and I also offered suggestions regarding the locks.

ShuddaBeenMe · 25/09/2021 19:23

You'd never get rid of the piss stench. Keep looking.

user1473878824 · 25/09/2021 19:26

@Franklyfrost life’s a gift? The house is soaked in piss.

SapphireEyes88 · 25/09/2021 19:46

You need to speak with the ha. Usually with a home swap you take the place as seen, however the ha would be responsible for repairs so worst case scenario is you move in and immediately report a list of repairs. They would also be responsible for changing locks if ex still has one and you can arrange with them to do it the day you move in. Basically you need to negotiate with the ha on repairs. If the rest of the area is good, take it, you are very unlikely to get another swap unfortunately.
In terms of the carpet you can probably arrange with the current tenant to rip it up, she'll probably do whatever you ask so as not to jeopardise her own move.
I'm sorry you've been placed in this position, home swaps often have someone with an unfairly dirty and damaged place, it happened to my disabled mum.

QueenBee52 · 25/09/2021 20:05

so worst case scenario is you move in and immediately report a list of repairs.

on urine soaked floor boards ...

they need removed and replaced

Noodella18 · 25/09/2021 20:16

Don't do it, you wouldn't get rid of the smell if it's in the floorboards.

JustanuthaLockdown · 25/09/2021 20:34

@Daisy1245 just to add- if she has rent arrears it is unlikely the swap will be approved until account is up to date. You wouldn't be expected to pick up her arrears or anything.

Wegobshite · 25/09/2021 20:35

Have the HA approved the swop
The council house near me had to have a shit load of work done on it before they are allowing the Tennant to swop
it’s taken from June to now and it’s still not gone through as they need to fix the roof .
If it’s structural then they have to get it fixed so damaged fire doors, stairs roofing bathroom kitchen electric
They will also give her a list of stuff that needs to be done before they approve the swop

If it’s cosmetic stuff like painting then you have to do it yourself
With swops you take them as they are cosmetically

You could ask the women to get it sorted before you move
If she is desperate to move then she could get on at the HA to fix it

Orangejuicemarathoner · 25/09/2021 20:38

dont even consider it

Lennybenny · 25/09/2021 20:44

Oh I feel your pain. I swapped with someone who left her house in the same condition. I stupidly thought she would clean it before we swapped. It's nearly 2 years on and I'm still finding stuff that needs cleaning or decorating. I've hardly touched the garden in that time because all that needs doing as well. We had a very bad actual day of swap as well which led to a lot of things being hidden. It's taken my HA over a year to fix all the hidden stuff.

It's a 50/50 thing. The house might be in the right area but the work needed will make it a house not a home.
Can you honestly see yourself sorting it out? Sadly the HA have no say in it usually have nothing to do with the clean side of it but they should make the current tenant replace or repair any actual damage. The only other option is ripping everything up and using fb/preloved/Gumtree/freecycle/freebay etc for anything anyone's giving away.

Lennybenny · 25/09/2021 20:48

And I can confirm the piss smell will only go with removing items...Sad
2 rusted pissed on radiators, 3 carpets and a soaked, dirty vinyl floor had to be replaced before the smell went and you can literally smell the difference as you walk through the door.

SmileyClare · 25/09/2021 20:55

Worst case scenario, you move in and report a list of repairs

Good luck with that Grin

I've lived in an HA rental for nearly 20 years and nothing is repaired. My double glazing is all blown, I have only two storage heaters that work and my dh was recently in a wheelchair for five months and they refused to help with a ramp for our front door or fix the broken path so he couldn't get out.
I just get told there are waiting lists for repairs and their budget has been cut etc. Any repairs, we've given up being fobbed off and done ourselves.

I've no idea how you would rip out excrement covered carpets on your own Op and dispose of them with no money. HA will not help you.
I get people are trying to think of practical suggestions but this is such a bad idea.

Cam2020 · 25/09/2021 21:32

Can you speak to the HA? They might not be aware of the condition of the property - I'm sure they'd have to do something about it if they were. If you or your children got sick, they could be held accountble. Definitely worth asking, you have nothing to lose!

stinkystinky · 25/09/2021 21:54

100% no.