Penis Tattoos?

[ooft]

Had a very strange dream last night that DH had got two large ivy leaves tattooed on him. One of my colleagues was doing the tattooing (someone I know through work rather than actually work with). It made me wonder, is this something you've ever come across (excuse the wording) or are they not actually a thing? (very disturbed by my dream)
YABU - you total weirdo, why did you dream that - of course they're a thing
YANBU - you total weirdo dreaming that, they are definitely not a thing

@CoachBeard

Google Puff the Magic dragon tattoo with safe search off. Quite an eye opener! 😂

Oh my.... I've scrolled down and seen the same man and his tattoo... from behind. Is that the Buddha?!

@Nillynally eek the one I saw was from the side. Why would you waste a thing of beauty by scribbling all over it like that!?

@dementedma

I have one small tattoo. The tattooist told me he had done one penis tattoo where the guy had his girlfriend’s name tattooed on previously but now had a new girlfriend so wanted the name covered. Tattooist said he covered the letters with stars. the name was Tracy. Good job she wasn’t called Arabella or Samantha

My DP likes to joke that his has (most of) my name on it. In fairness I do have quite a long name!

So, if you have a penis tattoo, do they just do the picture really small when its flaccid and then it stretches? Or do you have to have a boner? Surely that would go down as soon as someone came near you with a needle? Enquiring minds want to know!

I have a lot of tattoos and my tattoo artist told me tales of when she tattooed someone's testicles!

@TheHouseIsOnFire so your dp has one? We need to know logistics.....is the name more legible when erect or flaccid?!

I had a patient once who had this way to love and an arrow running down it, he also had a Prince Albert bolted in

@Waxonwaxoff0 that's got to have tickled at the very least, surely? Wtf could you actually get a tattoo of? Two smiley faces? An 8 ball? I don't know

[quote ooft]@Waxonwaxoff0 that's got to have tickled at the very least, surely? Wtf could you actually get a tattoo of? Two smiley faces? An 8 ball? I don't know [/quote]
I have no idea what the tattoo was but she said it's a very difficult place to tattoo as the skin is very loose! Boak.

My husband has a tattoo on the shaft of his penis. He had since before he met me. When I first found out about it I was like WTF?! I don't even really notice it anymore. When I read your OP I thought "oh yeah, dh has one of those".

@KrakowDawn

Hmmm. Two thoughts. 1) owwwwwwwwww 2) presumably the penis needs to be hard in order to tattoo it, so does the tattooee have to keep themselves engorged throughout?

Thank goodness for MN- where else could I ever ask that?

Dh has a penis tattoo. They did it when he was flaccid. At least that's what he tells me! I'm sure he was though, as it was a male tattoo artist who did it.

@noblegreenk does he regret it or is it just something he has and it's not thought about ?

There's a very old sexist joke about a Welshman who has to go into hospital and is looked after by two nurses during his stay - a plain-looking middle-aged one and a pretty, curvaceous young one.

At the shift changeover, the former comments to the latter that the man must be a proud board game champion, as she's noticed when giving him a bed bath that he has 'I won Ludo' tattooed on his willy. The other one responds that it actually says ' l love wonderful Llandudno'!

Reminds me of a joke which I can't remember but when fluid it said 'Wendy' but when erect said 'Welcome to Miami, have a lovely day". Or something like that...

Flacid not fluid obvs

I have the name of the town I was born in tattoed on my old chap.

I was born in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch

[quote ooft]@noblegreenk does he regret it or is it just something he has and it's not thought about ?[/quote]
I'd say the latter. Dh isn't much of a deep thinker. It's just something he has and it has a funny story to go with it. He has a lot of tattoos though, so it's not like it's the only tattoo he has. Plus it's not on show, so people only know if he tells them about it or shows them.

Plus it's not on show, so people only know if he tells them about it or shows them.

Is that the new legendary 'being a vegan' or 'not having a telly' - it's something that nobody will ever know.... except for every single person you ever meet, whom you can't resist telling the minute you first meet them?! Much worse, actually, as nobody tends to run away screaming when you just show them a pack of tofu or a board game by way of explanation

I have the name of the town I was born in tattoed on my old chap.

I was born in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch

Must have been a home birth, then, as the nearest hospital is in Bangor - and only six letters is nothing to boast about

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

Plus it's not on show, so people only know if he tells them about it or shows them.

Is that the new legendary 'being a vegan' or 'not having a telly' - it's something that nobody will ever know.... except for every single person you ever meet, whom you can't resist telling the minute you first meet them?! Much worse, actually, as nobody tends to run away screaming when you just show them a pack of tofu or a board game by way of explanation

😂

Ivy signifies fidelity, are you worried about him straying, or had concerns?

Omg do not google !

Freind in Australia, her brother had inches like on a ruler or tape measure,tattooed on his todger. I said 'sure it's not centimeters?"

@noblegreenk thank you!

HAS EVERYONE WHO HAS GOOGLED IT SEEN THE DRAGON?! (Go! Go Google it!)