OCD with ‘things’ in the house being lined up…..

[SuperFairy]

I think that I know the answer but do any Mumsnetters also do this….

Cans in the cupboard have to be facing forward
Towels on rails have to be perfectly aligned
Coasters on tables have to be aligned perfectly (fuck this is a huge problem for me)

The kettle has to be in its ‘place’

I’m not the only one surely 😂 I’m not alone in being a control freak, no I can’t be….

I spend my whole fucking life straightening things and moving things so that they are all aligned. I even designed the garden along straight lines 😂

Yeah, this is normal 😂

I like to use matching pegs when I hang out the washing but when I get to the end of my pegs I will make do with what I have, I don't NOT hang things up.

When I tidy I like to make things neat and lined up, it looks nice, the kettle has a home. But if things get moved around by others it doesn't mean I have to get up and straighten them up or I cannot settle until I do - if I'm nearby I might straighten them, but I don't stop doing something else to do that.

Therein lies the difference between most people and people who have OCD - which CAN be a spectrum of behaviours.

Has it become worse over time OP? I would be concerned that it is already disruptive if your friends are commenting on it.

It's a spectrum and you'd think by some of the posts on here that you have to have it severely in order to be allowed to say you have it! It's not a competition of awfulness!

It sounds like you are on that spectrum, what would worry me is it becoming worse.
My ex had OCD and it made life unbearable for everyone. He was awful in many ways but his ocd was the icing on the shitpartner cake.

Put it this way, if you genuinely don't have ocd then you have two much time on your hands and too little mental occupation to worry about such things. This isn't good either. But going around even straightening your friends' things shows me that it's something more serious as no one should be doing that- it's bloody rude!

@BlijEi

Spot on comment.

@SuperFairy

Don’t let the negative comments upset u

It’s like comparing a headache to a brain tumour.
OCD ruins peoples lives. Just because someone likes things neat and lined up doesn’t mean you have a disorder
I know someone that has OCD and has to state at a wardrobe door for 30 mins throughout the day otherwise people she knows will die. It means she can’t work and barely leaves the house as she has to be near her wardrobe.

I have diagnosed ocd. It is so severe I have been housebound as a result for the past 4 years. I don't have a life I have an existence.

EVERYTHING I do has to be done a certain way or I become incredibly distressed.

Literally everything from how I lie in bed, to how I breathe, to how I eat/drink, when I move my arms/legs, how I get from one room to another, how I open packets etc, how I use my phone, write, speak, get dressed, deal with toileting, stand up, sit down...

I get through HUGE amounts of cleaning products and soap every week. Costs me a fortune

I for one am heartily sick of flippant and ignorant comments/memes/posts ridiculing a condition which has ruined my life. Which ruins MANY lives and for which there isn't a genuine guaranteed treatment there certainly isn't a cure.

I even Fucking dream in ocd!

Op and others need to learn to STOP doing this and perhaps make the effort to learn about the actual condition and it's sufferers and just how debilitating it is.

I am now going to report in hopes than mnhq have more empathy

@RaininSummer we don't have a choice! It's why I've been unable to work for several years. The rituals take hours every day and it's utterly exhausting and distressing as for the "tidiness" I wish it were that simple! There is so much I CANNOT do because of the ocd as I struggle with avoidant issues too - look it up

This is just called obsessive behaviour. as in lining tins up in the cupboard, and putting things in orderly rows on the shelf , or hanging things on the washing line in size order etc. I used to be inclined to do stuff like this many years ago. I used to do things like switch my kitchen light off before leaving the room and going to bed, but I would switch it off, then on again, then finally off, the same with turning the key in the door, several times before finally locked.

But one day, I finally stopped doing all these things, realising how stupid it all was. and a total waste of time in my life. It was just a case of mind over matter to stop doing all these stupid rituals.

While it's awful that for some people their OCD has taken over their lives to the extent they can't work, it doesn't mean that OP can't also be suffering from a milder form of it. Like many disorders and illnesses, it exists on a spectrum.

I hate how these threads turn into some kind of sick competition - it's like people leap on to say "well if you're not struggling like I'm struggling you can't possibly have OCD so shut up and go away"

What about a little sympathy for someone who's clearly struggling with obsessive behaviours to the extent other people are commenting on it? Or is that too much to ask nowadays?

It’s possible to have traits of OCD without having the full blown disorder.

Many people have obsessive compulsive urges at certain times eg when stressed, anxious or pre-menstrual, and get very distressed if they can’t complete the behaviours. Others have the urges without the distressing part, although may be irritated if prevented from completing the behaviour or if someone messes up the pattern, and feel compelled to start again. Eg lining things up or making everything symmetrical can range from a self soothing behaviour to a powerful urge you feel you ‘must’ do to avoid disaster.

My DH doesn’t have OCD but has obsessions about neatness and symmetry particularly when he’s stressed. He wouldn’t refer to them as obsessions though, to him they’re logical! He thinks everyone prefers symmetry, eg he loads the dishwasher a certain way, then puts all the mugs into the cupboard with their handles facing outwards at a certain angle so they all look the same. Bowls and plates must be grouped according to size and type and if I absent mindedly put a blue bowl with the patterned ones he moves it! It gets annoying but it’s just his personality so I live with it the way he lives with my untidiness. His need for symmetry extends to his sock drawer but not the patch of floor beside his bed (he’ll happily drop used clothes on the floor until I pick them up and wash them!) He’ll also scatter his grooming things about the bathroom with no thought of symmetry, yet his drawer in the en-suite is meticulously organised.

However I’ve seen people close to the verge of OCD who try to laugh it off as being obsessed with neatness. Yet it’s clearly more than that. Eg I had a colleague who was fixated with crumbs on the carpet: if she ate a sandwich at her desk she’d use the kitchen broom from the staff room on the carpet to sweep crumbs (nobody else could see the crumbs!) If you distracted her sweeping she’d get cross. She also used to get very anxious about things like locking the window and her filing cabinet, checking several times then returning to check again or phoning me from her car so I could check for her. If anyone raised these behaviours with her she’d laugh them off as PMS or a ‘neatness obsession’ and thinking back she only did them for a couple of weeks each month. But her distress was very visible when she was repeatedly checking or cleaning. Perhaps she’d suffered with OCD in the past, recovered but found it hard to control the compulsions during times of stress/hormonal change like PMS?

I do think there are different levels of OCD. Even as a disorder it’s classified into mild, moderate and severe.

I have diagnosed ocd. It is so severe I have been housebound as a result for the past 4 years. I don't have a life I have an existence

I’m sorry you’re suffering so much.
Have you received professional help?

I had diagnosed OCD in my late teens and early 20s, it took over my life and spiralled into depression and anxiety on top of the OCD. But with extensive therapy and medication (many different medications and types of therapy) I broke the cycles. Resisting the compulsions was one of the hardest things I’ve done and I needed a lot of support to do it. But once I started to recover, I realised nothing bad was going to happen, that it was brain playing tricks not reality. The more ground I covered the more the OCD melted away. It was like being under a strange spell that only I could break, but the power when you do break free is immense.

This was all over 15 years ago. Occasionally I feel myself start to slip back into OC behaviours, eg when I had PND, and other times of extreme stress. But I use techniques I learnt back then (particularly the rubber band technique and visualising signs) and nip it in the bud.

I really hope you recover too. Please don’t feel it’s impossible.

@22Giraffes

I have diagnosed OCD. Despite common misconceptions i don't have a spotless house or like to line things up What I do have is intrusive thoughts and the need to do things incase something terrible happens. It's not a joke.

Bless you, me too. It's absolutely shit isn't it. I too suffer with the debilitating and repeated intrusive thoughts.
I definitely don't worry about lining up
coasters.

Meant or not op, your thread reads very
much as a Joke.

If you are a genuine diagnosed OCD sufferer, then it really is far from funny and you would know that.

I used to be like you OP, my house was cleaned every single week in a certain way and in a certain order. You could set your watch by what time I was mopping my floor or stripping my bed. Had to do upstairs first. Had to mop floors in the right order etc etc.

My DH had just left me and looking back, I think I was just looking to get some control back in my life - any way I could.

Now that I'm happy again, years later, I don't have the same obsession with cleaning and my house is a hovel

I think people are very sensitive when it comes.
to OCD because of how misrepresented it is in society/tv and film etc and the confusion about what it actually is. To me, what you have described is neatness, cleanliness and being particular, it doesn't necessarily seem like OCD to me because you haven't described intense anxiety if you don't do these things, it's sounds like more of an annoyance to you. Do you suffer with Intrusive thoughts (that are so terrifying) if you don't do the things you are describing? Do these thoughts play on a loop 24 hours a day? Is it affecting your life? Do you avoid certain places or people because you are scared that they might trigger certain thoughts? That is what OCD is like.

Can I remind people that OCD is a serious and debilitating mental illness, it’s not just liking things to be neat or lined up.

@LittleMG

Can I remind people that OCD is a serious and debilitating mental illness, it’s not just liking things to be neat or lined up.

That's true. But having an insistent need to have things neat or lined up, even against your better judgement, is a symptom of OCD.

@BlijEi

Whenever someone posts here talking of experiencing characteristics of for example ASD, without a diagnosis, people offer it up as a possibility and give lots of advice and helpful links etc.

If someone has the audacity to mention OCD without an official diagnosis, they get chewed out and spit out. My very much diagnosed OCD started exactly like the OPs. I was in denial for many years because I always imagined OCD to be about washing your hands 10 times etc, I thought I was just a neat freak and I was terrified to utter the words OCD for fear of being told I was being a special snowflake.

After years of depression, panic attacks, suicide attempts, overwhelming guilt and anxiety, it progressed to a point where it completely took over my life and I could barely function without checking and rechecking everything physically or in my head constantly.

It took me a year of therapy to utter the words OCD and by then it was already diagnosed from the first session.

I understand it's frustrating for people to make light of serious mental health conditions, but OCD is an anxiety disorder and is a spectrum, just because someone doesn't have a diagnosis it doesn't mean they dont have it. It took us years to get out of the dark ages and recognize autism is not "one size fits all", why are we still so backwards about other mental health conditions?

I agree, there are varying levels of depression too and no one berates posters for saying they are a bit depressed as they haven't had a clinic diagnosis. What the OP is describing is clearing worrying them.

I have (diagnosed) OCD which is often debilitating and severely impacts my quality of life. I'm not offended about this post. Then again I'm not offended by most of the things most of MN get offended about.
It IS a trait of OCD (it's one of mine). It's obviously an obsessive tendency, if nothing else. I don't know why anyone feels they have the right to minimise it it could well be mild OCD presenting itself in OP. It's a spectrum. Or it may not be.... and even then, it's still clearly something that frustrates her. Why be a dick about it?

For what it's worth OP, I think what you're describing does sound like OCD. There are treatments (CBT, medication) and you don't need to suffer as you are. I would seek help. I'm sorry you're getting a hard time on here - it's actually very well-established that OCD can present in many forms and that severity can vary.

OP if it is a problem to you then you should see your GP about it whether they may dismiss you or not.

My DH has OCD and delayed seeing a GP for over a decade - he has obsessive intrusive thoughts and before he did CBT to get a handle on it he would have nights where he got up to wash his eyes 15-20 times because he thought he might have got them contaminated, times where he phoned the police because a message I had sent to say I arrived at my destination had not got through immediately and he couldn't stop thinking I had been kidnapped or murdered. Even though your lining things up is not as extreme as this, if it is causing you to have mental health issues then it is worth at least trying to get help even if it turns out there is something else the matter.

I do have to second the PPs who are annoyed at every little bit of neatness being joked about as OCD though, drives me up the wall when you get "everyone is a little bit ocd".

I have asd, and I have a system/proper way to do things that I can't do any other way, and not only that and I can be bad for telling others that they are doing it wrong and why my method is best because I have carefully considered the options and selected the best one (my husband has the patience of a saint). I have a system for washing up, I peg my laundry using matching pegs in a certain order, when I walked back from work I would cross the road only at certain points and I would use a certain pedestrian crossing only if the traffic lights were at a certain point in their rotation because if they weren't at that point then it was more efficient to cross at a different point.

I add these examples only because I have had friends off hand laugh about how ocd I am with x/y/z but infact I am not at all - if you seek advice you may not have OCD but something else that you can be helped with.

How do you feel if you can't straighten something, e.g. at someone else's house? That would give some clues about whether this is a defined disorder.

@FateHasRedesignedMost I have been supposedly receiving treatment (therapies, medication, cbt etc) for the last 15 years nothing has had enough of an impact on my life to get me even close to a normal life again, I've read countless books tried tons of techniques nothing helps.

Christ, I thought that this was a safe place. Sorry, I was mistaken.
Not MN, never!
I'm obsessively tidy and have had the whole of the ground floor covered with fitted plaid carpet so I can line up the square chairs and sofa, etc. I'm sorry you've been shot down over this but being pernickety and tidy isn't OCD (I'm sure you've got that now!).

I don't understand why everyone is coming down so hard on the op. Practically every AIBU thread has posters diagnosing other people with different mental health issues. According to MNers there aren't many families that don't have a narcissist or a sufferer of mental illness in their midst. And that all seems fair game. The op simply posted about ocd. Just because you believe your suffering to be worse, it doesn't negate the issues she might be going through. And her smiling faces probably are a cover her nervousness and worry about how people might diagnose her. Instead people who demand compassion and understanding from others who don't have such issues, show very little of the same to someone who is expressing having problems in her life. I guess compassion is a one way street with you people.

I have been supposedly receiving treatment (therapies, medication, cbt etc) for the last 15 years nothing has had enough of an impact on my life to get me even close to a normal life again, I've read countless books tried tons of techniques nothing helps

I’m so sorry. It’s hell being trapped like that. I don’t know what meds and therapies you had but I didn’t find CBT or counselling very useful, it was a combination of NLP, mixed psychotherapy, SSRIs and pregabalin that got me on the road to recovery (plus supportive friends who literally dragged me out of my flat when I got stuck in a checking cycle or couldn’t stop flicking the light switches).

I now work in MH and have seen patients with various degrees of OCD. Crossing thresholds seems to be a common symptom, I’ve had patients get stuck trying to go through doorways. Others change their clothes multiple times a day due to contamination fears. Most of them recover with intensive treatment. Don’t lose heart.

I suspect OP didn’t mean to dismiss or minimise OCD. Many people are so embarrassed by their symptoms they try to be lighthearted or jokey when initially reaching out for support (it’s a defensive mechanism not real laughter).

One thing I used to do was go around friends houses switching off all their plug sockets and unplugging toasters, kettles etc as I was paranoid about fire risks. When people started getting cross over this I realised I had a problem.