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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

OCD with ‘things’ in the house being lined up…..

74 replies

SuperFairy · 23/09/2021 23:08

I think that I know the answer but do any Mumsnetters also do this….

Cans in the cupboard have to be facing forward
Towels on rails have to be perfectly aligned
Coasters on tables have to be aligned perfectly (fuck this is a huge problem for me)

The kettle has to be in its ‘place’

I’m not the only one surely 😂 I’m not alone in being a control freak, no I can’t be….

I spend my whole fucking life straightening things and moving things so that they are all aligned. I even designed the garden along straight lines 😂

Yeah, this is normal 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
SuperFairy · 23/09/2021 23:50

@Mistressofnone

Have you seen Sleeping with the Enemy? He has the tins and towel hang ups too!

I don't like to have the car volume on an odd number, especially 13, which is irksome as it's the perfect level.

All of my friends say that I’m as obsessed as this, it’s a long standing thing that I am the ‘Sleeping with the Enemy’ person. It’s funny but not.
I spend my whole time straightening things up. To be honest I’m not sure why I posted but it’s a fucking pain in the arse that I’m so critical .

It means that I can’t live without being what should be normal and that gets to me.

OP posts:
Original poster
SuperFairy · 23/09/2021 23:54

@BlijEi

Whenever someone posts here talking of experiencing characteristics of for example ASD, without a diagnosis, people offer it up as a possibility and give lots of advice and helpful links etc.

If someone has the audacity to mention OCD without an official diagnosis, they get chewed out and spit out. My very much diagnosed OCD started exactly like the OPs. I was in denial for many years because I always imagined OCD to be about washing your hands 10 times etc, I thought I was just a neat freak and I was terrified to utter the words OCD for fear of being told I was being a special snowflake.

After years of depression, panic attacks, suicide attempts, overwhelming guilt and anxiety, it progressed to a point where it completely took over my life and I could barely function without checking and rechecking everything physically or in my head constantly.

It took me a year of therapy to utter the words OCD and by then it was already diagnosed from the first session.

I understand it's frustrating for people to make light of serious mental health conditions, but OCD is an anxiety disorder and is a spectrum, just because someone doesn't have a diagnosis it doesn't mean they dont have it. It took us years to get out of the dark ages and recognize autism is not "one size fits all", why are we still so backwards about other mental health conditions?

Thank you.
OP posts:
BlueberrySugar · 23/09/2021 23:55

I have OCD and anxiety.

My OCD leads into intrusive thoughts. It's fucking torture. I've stood there and cried because I've had to touch a handle 2938487 times because if I don't then then my intrusive thoughts will creep in.

If I see a digit change I have to wait for the next digit again to switch.

I have to check my carbon monoxide ready flash 8 times. 8 times! It flashes once a minute. I stand there and look at it for 8 minutes before j can go to bed.

I have a lot more but honestly OCD is absolutely torture.

SorenLorensonsInvisibleFriend · 23/09/2021 23:56

People really like to pile on whenever anyone mentions OCD. As if they have a clue how badly it affects whoever says it. As if trying to make light of it whilst trying to admit to something which is ruling their life means it's not serious. You won't possibly be accepted, I'm afraid, OP, even with full diagnoses from doctor or psychologists, it'll never be enough for the judgy ones.

BlueberrySugar · 23/09/2021 23:57

Reader*

Original poster
SuperFairy · 23/09/2021 23:59

Oh amd im laughing because I’m nervous. From the piss taking that I get from my friends it makes me feel not normal.
I hope that’s not the case.

OP posts:
DustyMaiden · 24/09/2021 00:03

I have diagnosed OCD and it is as you describe, when I stop my meds it’s worse. It is a spectrum not everyone is at the severe end of it.

Original poster
SuperFairy · 24/09/2021 00:03

@BlueberrySugar

I have OCD and anxiety.

My OCD leads into intrusive thoughts. It's fucking torture. I've stood there and cried because I've had to touch a handle 2938487 times because if I don't then then my intrusive thoughts will creep in.

If I see a digit change I have to wait for the next digit again to switch.

I have to check my carbon monoxide ready flash 8 times. 8 times! It flashes once a minute. I stand there and look at it for 8 minutes before j can go to bed.

I have a lot more but honestly OCD is absolutely torture.

I’m so sorry to hear that and I don’t mean to belittle you it’s just that I have my situation. I think that we both have this condition and we both deserve to be heard. xxxxx
OP posts:
bethabean · 24/09/2021 00:05

I have diagnosed OCD and definitely agree that media and society etc. have really made it seem like wanting your pencils in colour order means you have the condition. It is true that OCD is actually torturous and mine come in the form of intrusive thoughts and rituals which absolutely rule my life when I'm more stressed in general.

However, my OCD did begin with organising etc. and got worse and moved to a different form after a bad relationship and PTSD!

No one knows what you're going through OP, but I do kindly suggest you don't use the term OCD for yourself unless diagnosed as it has become annoyingly 'mainstream'

RavingAnnie · 24/09/2021 00:10

I think you are being very unfairly criticised on this thread OP. You aren't just saying you like things to be neat, you seem to be saying you are constantly rearranging and adjusting things to make them "just so" and that is abnormal. I imagine that if you did not move the things you would experience anxiety? Have a look at the links above and see if that resonates.

BlijEi · 24/09/2021 00:11

Like I said I was exactly the same at first about things being lined up a certain way and it got worse and worse until I was literally banging my head against a wall or slapping myself saying "stop it stop it stop it" over and over again and it was the only way I could stop doing it.

I don't mean to alarm you or suggest you might have OCD or that you will end up feeling the same way at all! But it does sound like it gives you a lot of anxiety despite your initial post sounding light hearted to some. If I had gotten help sooner, regardless of a diagnosis, it would have saved me so many years of anxiety.

Would you consider talking to someone about how it makes you feel? You dont have to spend the rest of your life worrying about whether or not it's normal, at the very least a professional can help you accept this situation.

BlijEi · 24/09/2021 00:16

Also making lighthearted jokes about something that's hard to accept is a very common and normal emotional defense mechanism, even if it's not politically correct. My husband was diagnosed with ASD at 37 and for about 4-5 years before then we "joked" that he might have it. Probably would have been very offensive to someone with a diagnosis who heard it at the time. But it's normal to go through denial first when faced with a life changing possibility.

ufucoffee · 24/09/2021 00:17

Nope. Nothing like that at all.

Original poster
SuperFairy · 24/09/2021 00:23

@RavingAnnie

I think you are being very unfairly criticised on this thread OP. You aren't just saying you like things to be neat, you seem to be saying you are constantly rearranging and adjusting things to make them "just so" and that is abnormal. I imagine that if you did not move the things you would experience anxiety? Have a look at the links above and see if that resonates.
You are exactly right I HAVE to move things, it goes as far as moving the kettle to be ‘in the right place’

Sorry if I’ve offended people and if you don’t think that I have OCD, perhaps I don’t but I’m just after help for my obsessiveness with having things in a straight line.

It’s literally all I do. I straighten things.

OP posts:
Ilovesandwiches · 24/09/2021 00:25

I suffer with OCD and it really Impacts me day to day.
I sat and cried for 15 minutes today because I realised I left something in the wrong place (something that
Is not going to cause any harm
To be left where I left it) and I couldn’t go and move it, so mind really struggled to settle, and it still won’t until I can go and move it in a few days.

For me, OCD is not wanting to go out as I am terrified something bad will happen, it’s waking up at 3am
And having to check I’ve turned the oven off because I feel I need to, it’s locking a door and checking it 10 times but still feeling anxiety over the concern that it could be open. It’s constant fear that something bad is going to happen or that I’ve made a huge mistake somewhere. It’s worrying that the worst case scenario will happen in every situation but that I can prevent things from happening by performing routines and rituals.
I don’t know you personally, and I don’t know what goes on in your own mind. I’m not going to say you don’t have OCD as that’s not my place to do so, but the laughing faces just make it seem like you were having a bit of a laugh about it. That’s one thing that really gets to me, when people say things clearly
In a joke way like “oh I’m So OCD I love cleaning”, when although obviously everyone is different and for some, cleaning is part of OCD for them. It took me a long time of these fears I experience to accept
I do have OCD, as I felt I didn’t want to say it as I worried I sounded disrespectful to those who suffer extreme symptoms of OCD, because people really do throw the term around so often and it is so misunderstood.

Like I said, everyone is different and I am not trying to say your concerns aren’t valid at all, of course they are! And if you are concerned about your behaviours I am currently undergoing CBT which is helping me, it may be worth looking into.

PieMistee · 24/09/2021 00:27

It might not be severe OCD but it is not normal behaviour. I would look at some sort of therapy to prevent or becoming more intrenched.

Bombaloorina · 24/09/2021 00:30

You know when you open a thread, read the OP and think ‘oh dear, this isn’t going to go well’?

And then, sure enough, it gets completely derailed.

It is possible that the OP does have some undiagnosed issues.

If it’s obtrusive and needing her to ask for coping mechanisms, does that mean she’s not entitled to any sympathy, simply because she doesn’t have an offical diagnosis?

Original poster
SuperFairy · 24/09/2021 00:32

Thanks everyone, I’m off to bed now and will seriously consider talking about this to my Doctor, I just think that they will think that I’m an idiot.

In the meantime I’m going to try and stop straightening things. That’s never going to happen unfortunately.

OP posts:
Bellyups · 24/09/2021 00:50

@LadyMaid are you me? I literally do everything you listed. Apart from the underwear in squares.

Marmelace · 24/09/2021 01:07

@SuperFairy

I think that I know the answer but do any Mumsnetters also do this….

Cans in the cupboard have to be facing forward
Towels on rails have to be perfectly aligned
Coasters on tables have to be aligned perfectly (fuck this is a huge problem for me)

The kettle has to be in its ‘place’

I’m not the only one surely 😂 I’m not alone in being a control freak, no I can’t be….

I spend my whole fucking life straightening things and moving things so that they are all aligned. I even designed the garden along straight lines 😂

Yeah, this is normal 😂

It's my idea of heaven. Unfortunately my sons think differently. I get really agitated if things are not how I want them. I have a way of how things need to be done. I do try hard to step outside my rigidity.
LizzieAnt · 24/09/2021 01:20

Symmetry OCD is a subtype of OCD.
I would certainly speak to your doctor, OP. It's obviously disrupting your life if you're writing here about it. Best of luck.

Porridgealert · 24/09/2021 01:41

I'm very sorry about you finding yourself doing that. It must be exhausting. However, you can only change the habit if you want to and it's unclear whether you're happy with your behaviour or not. Did you come on here for reassurance or help?

PS Ignore people being offended. Just like you like to line things up, some MNers like to be offended. Makes them feel superior.

HerRoyalNotness · 24/09/2021 01:52

If you didn’t straighten what would happen? Do you think about that? My son has certain behaviours, checking doors, lining things up, facial tics that aren’t, he does them purposely. I ask him what would happen if he didn’t do them and he said it just feels weird. I let him get in with it while keeping an eye on it, sometimes it increases, sometimes it decreases. He also has anxiety, adhd and epilepsy.

Certainly it’s worth talking to your GP about it

StardewMelons · 24/09/2021 02:12

While I hate OCD being made "lighthearted" been neat and tidy, etc. I Was diagnosed after a long time of being misdiagnosed. It isn't a one fits all. I was hospitalised multiple times going mad with intrusive thoughts (to the point I couldn't cope). My OCD has NOTHING to do with things being neat and organised, or washing my hands etc... My OCD started at 14 being focused on being a distance from a toilet, Using a toilet within every 30 minutes if I was out of my home. Flash forward, I am now 30years old, I leave the house once a month or so on medication to do so, and in the meantime have suffered horrific unrelated intrusive thoughts over and over again, so badly (unrelated) where there is times I been so desperate god knows what could have happened..... BUT in the last 16 years where things have being up and down, there is a scale. 5 years ago I had a full time job, socialised did normal day to day things, yes the OCD was there, but it was liveable. .. So don't judge someone one wether its "as bad" as you feel.