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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder WFT dad was thinking …

29 replies

Coffeewithlogs · 23/09/2021 19:19

So i was reminded of this today. Not a big deal or anything but I do want to get some views.

So when I turned 16 my mum and dad were obsessed with me getting a part time job, but I was still in Year 11 (September birthday) and couldn’t get one. Eventually answered an ad in the paper. My ‘job’ looking back was scamming people Blush I had to go to pubs and clubs and ask for donations to charity, then I kept 25% of what I collected.

My mum didn’t like it but didn’t stop me. My dad encouraged it. I feel really shit about it now.

OP posts:
theseoldbone · 23/09/2021 19:31

Crikey. Are they dodgy in general?

GreatPotato · 23/09/2021 19:37

This is usual for charity collectors or was until very recently. All those collectors who approach you in the High St are on a %

I mean it's not how I'd choose for me or a DC to earn a living but it's not a "scam".

MamaNell · 23/09/2021 19:39

Isn't that essentially like the employed charity collectors (chuggers) outside train stations and on the high street??
They are all paid a wage to raise money for charity. Some of them won't even break-even so your 'donation' of 75% is good!
Sending a 17 year old into pubs/ letchy men is far more dubious

Original poster
Coffeewithlogs · 23/09/2021 19:40

Kind of like chuggers. I suppose the difference was this was cash so felt a bit more scammy.

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Original poster
Coffeewithlogs · 23/09/2021 19:40

I got 25% and the woman who drove me to the pubs / clubs got 25%, so the charity got 50%. Was usual I suppose.

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TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 23/09/2021 19:41

Meh. No different to a chugger.

lannistunut · 23/09/2021 19:42

Did the other 75% actually go to a charity?

I don't think you need to feel guilty about it - you were still pretty young, you answered an ad and your parents knew what you were doing so you probably didn't think it through - but I think you are right it was a pretty weird thing for your parents to allow you to do.

lannistunut · 23/09/2021 19:43

It isn't actually a scam if 50% went to a charity.

It just isn;t the first job I would want for my child!

MrsColon · 23/09/2021 19:46

@lannistunut

It isn't actually a scam if 50% went to a charity.

It just isn;t the first job I would want for my child!

It is a scam unless the donors knew that she was a paid fundraiser.

Still, not so bad - it was money the charities wouldn't get otherwise. Although targeting drunk folk isn't a brill idea...

lannistunut · 23/09/2021 19:49

I don't think that is a scam, unless told to lie and say it all went to charity if asked.

SirGawain · 23/09/2021 20:06

@GreatPotato

This is usual for charity collectors or was until very recently. All those collectors who approach you in the High St are on a %

I mean it's not how I'd choose for me or a DC to earn a living but it's not a "scam".

The difference is that those charities are not collecting cash that can be pocketed. They are signing people up as regular givers. I'm not keen but at least it is above board.
GreatPotato · 23/09/2021 20:09

Now they're after your bank details and a regular donation, but they used to do the same with collection tins

ManifestDestinee · 23/09/2021 20:12

o when I turned 16 my mum and dad were obsessed with me getting a part time job, but I was still in Year 11 (September birthday) and couldn’t get one

Why would that mean you couldn't get a job? I had one long before that point!

Original poster
Coffeewithlogs · 23/09/2021 20:34

Because times, places and contexts are all different.

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ManifestDestinee · 23/09/2021 20:39

How would you know?

Original poster
Coffeewithlogs · 23/09/2021 20:41

Not being rude but what are you on about? Grin

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YourFinestPantaloons · 23/09/2021 20:45

I can't get worked up about this.

If people think 100% of their donations go to the charity they need to do research. It's the reason I don't give to charity

Original poster
Coffeewithlogs · 23/09/2021 20:48

It wasn’t just the charity thing though tbh. It’s partly that but also that my dad was OK with me going into pubs and clubs alone with a load of cash on me, sometimes in dodgy areas. I was lucky, looking back!

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Allthesefolks · 23/09/2021 20:52

@ManifestDestinee

o when I turned 16 my mum and dad were obsessed with me getting a part time job, but I was still in Year 11 (September birthday) and couldn’t get one

Why would that mean you couldn't get a job? I had one long before that point!

I wondered that too, I worked in a restaurant from 15 Confused
Original poster
Coffeewithlogs · 23/09/2021 20:58

I don’t get why the Confused faces.

So you did, cool. I couldn’t get anyone to take me on as they were all looking for college students who had more flexibility.

I mean … why the fuck I’m having to explain why I struggled to find work aged 16 nearly 30 years ago when it’s not the point of the thread Confused

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nyktipolos · 23/09/2021 20:59

I don't fully understand how you feel.

But my dps dad made him go out and help steal cars from 14. Until dp got bigger than his dad and was no longer scared of him. Its really impacted him, that his dad put him in that position. Car theft or a beating and kicked out. Dps mum wasn't around but he had a step mum, who was fine with whatever her husband did as long as she wasn't told details. I think its that it's a physical example that's proof of how much his dad didn't care for his safety or his future.

I think lots of us can suspect our parents don't care. But to have specific examples where they put you in a scary, unsafe positions that could have ruined the rest of you life is another level .

Dps dad is dead, so he can't even have it out with him.

So I can't fully understand as it wasn't me. But I can understand why you feel shit. I see the same with dp.

nyktipolos · 23/09/2021 21:02

Wow, why are people being shitty?

Allthesefolks · 23/09/2021 21:06

Your OP made it seem like there was some kind of a restriction on getting jobs based on leaving school and it stuck out as unusual, that’s all.

I’m sure most of us have done jobs we don’t felt good about (cold calling I’m looking at you!)

Dasher789 · 23/09/2021 21:06

I guess even if you go to a charity shop you know that there is rent on the building, utilities, staff etc. Dont feel bad!

Original poster
Coffeewithlogs · 23/09/2021 21:07

Yeah but it’s fairly obvious it’s not why I’m posting.

Going back to circa 1994, I tried a few places but couldn’t work it around school hours. Is it really that important?

I think it just surprises me as a parent myself now and can’t imagine putting my kids in that sort of position.

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