High functioning asd and no interest in a diagnosis.

[coodawoodashooda]

Has this worked out for anyone? Does anyone wish that this is what they opted for?

And without assessment their child cannot actually be considered to be autistic and actually there is a strong possibility they aren't. Otherwise, the pressure to assess would be stronger (from the experiences with their child or from professionals who'll deal with their child.).

Yeah that's a load of crap. My second DC had no professionals involved. I went to the GP for their referral. School would not have been pro active as my DC is a skilled masker who fits right in when in class. Without me to stand up and ask for her assessment she would be blindly trying to navigate a really difficult works unarmed for her situation. There was never a strong possibility of her not being autistic.

@grasstreeleaf

It's not a 'feeling' - it's a protected characteristic by law.

Like being female is?

I want to respond to this but I'm just going to straight up say I don't know how. It's completely thrown me but it's not a reason to refrain from having a child assessed.

@Fluffypastelslippers, note I included 'experiences with their child'. So in your case, that is why you were under pressure with regards to assessment. However, what I say stands. No one can be considered officially autistic until they are assessed. Anything else erodes the meaning of what autism is because it is an officially recognised diagnosis not something which can be trusted to the general public's perceptions. This is protective because disabilism is rife within society and meanings of conditions continually are eroded into insults, unfortunately, without this type of protection.

No one can be considered officially autistic until they are assessed.

Of course, I don't disagree with that.

I want to respond to this but I'm just going to straight up say I don't know how.

You don't have to know how. Society is sick. People cope the best way they can.

I was diagnosed a few years ago, in my 50s.

The assessment was a hugely emotional experience (I was glad to have my mum with me!) and the diagnosis came as a great relief.

I'd muddled through life and done pretty well for myself (work full time, have a partner and daughter, own our own house) but I really wish that I'd been diagnosed decades earlier.

It has helped me to understand myself and has explained situations in the past where I have been stressed or got into arguments with people and not understood why.

I haven't received any support but I'm out at work (I'm a teacher so out to staff but not parents or children) and don't worry about masking in front of colleagues if I'm too tired or overwhelmed to feel like it.

Parents with younger children deliberately not going for assessment should probably read cautionary accounts of teenagers late diagnosed in secondary school or further on.

It's rarely a controlled process but a sudden 'burn-out' and severe depression. On a parents mental health group I'm on there are countless parents with teenagers who are suicidal - talking about how their child was a straight A student/sports captain/etc etc. Undiagnosed ASD is often a factor. They can and do recover of course but it's hard and takes a long time. With ASD in the mix the child has been 'masking' for so long, until they just can't any longer. ASD is a separate entity to IQ and academic ability, too often parents conflate them. But a depressed/burnt out child can't learn. Academic success shouldn't be confused with ability to cope as a person with autism.

If a child has autism, they have autism whether they are diagnosed or not.

And conversely I wouldn't ever put myself through assessment of this kind. I'm probably not autistic but wouldn't know for sure without assessment. Certainly as a child I would have displayed some traits. One teacher in particular had a talk with my mother suggesting there was an issue. But I'm pretty resilient - wouldn't want support. Wouldn't want to relax in front of company and let them know if I'm not particularly comfortable. Prefer putting on a smile and braving it out.

For all the parents saying kids could not pursue their chosen career if their diagnosis was revealed so they don't want to diagnose, just stop and think for a moment.

The term 'high functioning' is being bandied about here in its usual misunderstood fashion.
High functioning does NOT mean 'can pass for NT and needs no special adjustments' Anyone with that profile is likely not to be autistic, but to only have traits. I have traits but I'm not autistic. It is possible to have many traits, but unless they affect a child or adult significantly, then they will not be given a diagnosis.
www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/diagnosis/diagnostic-criteria/all-audiences

DSM5 - “persistent difficulties with social communication and social interaction” and “restricted and repetitive patterns of behaviours, activities or interests” (this includes sensory behaviour), present since early childhood, to the extent that these limit and impair everyday functioning”.

It's the persistent difficulties [often evidence from childhood is requested] which limit and impair everyday functioning part of the diagnostic criteria that I find so difficult to rationalise among these so-called Autistic adults who reportedly don't need any interventions whatsoever to have a high-flying career. Caveat, some careers already facilitate neurodiversity like the tech industries and academia.

I'd really like to hear from any diagnosed autistic or neurodiverse adults outside those careers, and probably medicine and research too, who throughout their lives from childhood have needed no interventions, have no MH issues because of constant masking due to trying to be NT, and who have a high flying career and a family.

@grasstreeleaf

And conversely I wouldn't ever put myself through assessment of this kind. I'm probably not autistic but wouldn't know for sure without assessment. Certainly as a child I would have displayed some traits. One teacher in particular had a talk with my mother suggesting there was an issue. But I'm pretty resilient - wouldn't want support. Wouldn't want to relax in front of company and let them know if I'm not particularly comfortable. Prefer putting on a smile and braving it out.

Prefer putting on a brave face..

Just when I think I have seen it all

The term 'high functioning' is being bandied about here in its usual misunderstood fashion.
High functioning does NOT mean 'can pass for NT and needs no special adjustments'

So if no special adjustments are needed, in actuality why are people suggesting assessments for aspects of somebody's behaviour which only can be considered traits (since they need no special adjustment)?

Parents know if their child needs adjustments to cope generally, at home. Teachers know if a child needs special adjustments to cope whilst at school.

These things are evident.

Sorry wrong words in that bold but you know what I'm referring to.

@grasstreeleaf not really sure I understand the point of your post?

• You're 'probably not autistic' in your own words (so don't require assessment), so I take it your not having challenges navigating the world that some people with autism do - hence leading them to seek assessment to explain those challenges
• Being resilient doesn't mean someone doesn't need support. Being autistic is not a lack of resilience.
• Not wanting support doesn't mean it's not needed (hello PDA child)
• Putting on a smile and braving it out - can be ok. It's known as masking. If that masking leads to meltdown and burn out, it's probably not doing you much good.

@grasstreeleaf

It's not a 'feeling' - it's a protected characteristic by law.

Like being female is?

… and there lies a whole internet can of worms that I will happily be bypassing. I will leave you all with that one.

Live long and prosper peeps!

@BlankTimes

For all the parents saying kids could not pursue their chosen career if their diagnosis was revealed so they don't want to diagnose, just stop and think for a moment.

The term 'high functioning' is being bandied about here in its usual misunderstood fashion.
High functioning does NOT mean 'can pass for NT and needs no special adjustments' Anyone with that profile is likely not to be autistic, but to only have traits. I have traits but I'm not autistic. It is possible to have many traits, but unless they affect a child or adult significantly, then they will not be given a diagnosis.
www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/diagnosis/diagnostic-criteria/all-audiences

DSM5 - “persistent difficulties with social communication and social interaction” and “restricted and repetitive patterns of behaviours, activities or interests” (this includes sensory behaviour), present since early childhood, to the extent that these limit and impair everyday functioning”.

It's the persistent difficulties [often evidence from childhood is requested] which limit and impair everyday functioning part of the diagnostic criteria that I find so difficult to rationalise among these so-called Autistic adults who reportedly don't need any interventions whatsoever to have a high-flying career. Caveat, some careers already facilitate neurodiversity like the tech industries and academia.

I'd really like to hear from any diagnosed autistic or neurodiverse adults outside those careers, and probably medicine and research too, who throughout their lives from childhood have needed no interventions, have no MH issues because of constant masking due to trying to be NT, and who have a high flying career and a family.

Chris Packham would be a great person to ask. He struggled so much as a teenager and yet works in an industry which suits him brilliantly. Am so glad he is speaking up about his aspergers.

Just when I think I have seen it all 

No sad face needed or wanted. I'm happy. As I said I'm not autistic (no diagnosis) or anyone struggling with masking. However, if you think people all should feel intimate enough with colleagues to show every vulnerability, I would say that is inaccurate. I prefer to keep some things private. I process in private. But my feelings might be totally irrelevant as comparison of a NT and ASD person is undisputedly problematic.

@grasstreeleaf

And conversely I wouldn't ever put myself through assessment of this kind. I'm probably not autistic but wouldn't know for sure without assessment. Certainly as a child I would have displayed some traits. One teacher in particular had a talk with my mother suggesting there was an issue. But I'm pretty resilient - wouldn't want support. Wouldn't want to relax in front of company and let them know if I'm not particularly comfortable. Prefer putting on a smile and braving it out.

There are other diagnoses that overlap, could be a number of things. What matters is how you are managing with or without a diagnosis. We all have opinions but it's your life that matters. you do you.

I also completely understand parents who don't want to put their children through an assessment of they don't think it will help them.

My child masks, his sense of privacy is high too. But there's a price to be paid, and that price isn't a choice on his part or a lack of resilience.

As an adult if you can control your world enough, have enough self-awareness to protect yourself and essentially make your own adjustments I can see why a diagnosis isn't required. As a child with so much to navigate, it's useful. If they are displaying enough signs/challenges to meet the criteria, why wouldn't you.

- You're 'probably not autistic' in your own words (so don't require assessment), so I take it your not having challenges navigating the world that some people with autism do - hence leading them to seek assessment to explain those challenges

Where I do have experience is that certain teachers pushed for my D.C. to be assessed. They did have assessments. Extra funding gained which I stupidly wrote off for and got but no autism diagnosis. However, my D.C. was always treated as if they had ASD. Used same teaching methods as an assumption to start with. However these methods were unsuccessful and not needed. The funding ended up not being spent on my D.C. but their attainment was managed in order to keep funding. They weren't put in for the same academic assessments as other children in their class. They were able. Eventually this unravelled and we got their Statement ceased. I saw first hand how damaging 'pop' diagnoses can be. Since ceasing the Statement and extra funding my DC's attainment went up exponentially. My D.C. had been used as a 'cash cow'.

@grasstreeleaf

Just when I think I have seen it all 

No sad face needed or wanted. I'm happy. As I said I'm not autistic (no diagnosis) or anyone struggling with masking. However, if you think people all should feel intimate enough with colleagues to show every vulnerability, I would say that is inaccurate. I prefer to keep some things private. I process in private. But my feelings might be totally irrelevant as comparison of a NT and ASD person is undisputedly problematic.

I don't think people necessarily need to show vulnerability to their colleagues but I used the sad face be sure it seemed as if you were saying people generally can just get on with it. Seems I misread your post

@grasstreeleaf

And conversely I wouldn't ever put myself through assessment of this kind. I'm probably not autistic but wouldn't know for sure without assessment. Certainly as a child I would have displayed some traits. One teacher in particular had a talk with my mother suggesting there was an issue. But I'm pretty resilient - wouldn't want support. Wouldn't want to relax in front of company and let them know if I'm not particularly comfortable. Prefer putting on a smile and braving it out.

Being resilient has got absolutely fuck all to do with being Autistic and needing support

Putting on a smile and braving it out as you put it is not a sign of strength. Masking is mentally exhausting and leads to increased stress, anxiety and depression.

We struggled for years with my son's mental health because he was good at hiding his true self in public. Home was a different matter entirely. Since he's learnt how his brain works he's so much more laid back because he doesn't need to hide anymore. He knows now he's not just the weird kid. He sees the world differently not wrongly.

A particular poignant time was when my D.C. was in Juniors and placed on a table with all the other children with conflicting additional needs so the school could utilise the 1to 1 assigned my D.C. to support them. My D.C. as a result was given reading books lower than the level they had been reading in reception class. My D.C. was embarrassed because they weren't even tailored to age related interests. My D.C. got into trouble for hiding the reading book.

There is certainly prejudice out there. And whatever additional needs my D.C. once had they are non evident now. They are happy and extremely successful, looking forward to a career in research.

Parents know if their child needs adjustments to cope generally, at home. Teachers know if a child needs special adjustments to cope whilst at school

Parents can be totally unaware of their child's needs and unconsciously compensate. Some parents are flabbergasted when it's suggested their child is referred for assessment. check out Tony Attwood

As for teachers knowing when a child needs special adjustments, go and read the SN boards, go and see what a struggle parents have to get an EHCP, or any other help. Read how many neurodiverse children are being failed in their education by teachers who are clueless to their needs and LA's who put obstacles in parents' way.
Read how many parents are struggling to get any help or interventions.

Your opinions do not reflect the current situation in mainstream ed for neurodiverse children.

@grasstreeleaf I'm not saying I don't believe you with your dc being used as a 'cash cow' but it's so far from my own experience and 000's of fellow parents that I'm struggling to understand your position. I'm guessing as you refer to 'statement' this was some time ago.

There's certainly no money tree for ASD students in the UK now, and no rush for diagnosis - in fact, quite the opposite.

Being resilient has got absolutely fuck all to do with being Autistic and needing support 

Never said it did. No need for the anger.

Home was a different matter entirely. Since he's learnt how his brain works he's so much more laid back because he doesn't need to hide anymore. He knows now he's not just the weird kid. He sees the world differently not wrongly.

So as a parent, you knew. Why not respect other parent's knowledge of their own children?