To be thinking about ADHD? 5yo year 1

[GenieMermaid]

Hey,

Just looking for some advice or similar experiences as I’m quite worried this evening. Long post! Thanks for reading!

DS has just gone into year 1 and since he started 3 weeks ago he has told me lots that school is boring and that it’s a lot of work and it makes him feel very tired. He’s also told me he has been told off for ‘daydreaming’ and that he is usually the last to finish his work. His teacher also made a comment last week when I picked him up that she had noticed he was in his own world alot (he came sauntering out looking like he’d just woken up!) Today I left a message on the school app asking his teacher to ring me and she did within 5 minutes. She told me he is very distracted in school and ‘in most if not all’ lessons after she has explained what needs to be done he asks again what to do as he hasn’t been able to listen. She said she spoke to his reception teachers about her concerns about him last week (but not me ), and that he is quite slow at finishing work and she would describe his attention span as not being very long. She suggested a reward chart for listening and working quicker and said she will start it with him tomorrow.

We have then taken him to football (activities and a short and simplified match at the end) this evening and watched and DS was in a complete world of his own. Fidgeting and not listening at all, didn’t know when it was his turn and had to be prompted by his team mates who became frustrated with him. I heard one of them say “he’s in my class and he gets told off for not paying attention every single day!” Which has upset me a little!

DS has always been like this to a degree at home, I had concerns when he was much younger but everyone told me “it’s just boys!” but it has gotten much worse over the summer and now being back. I have been at my wits end over the summer and became very very stressed with him ignoring me as I had the whole time off work. School reports for reception and nursery were glowing - he was ahead on his reading, and where he needs to be for everything else at the end of reception - but then he did choose to play outside most of the time which he loves to do.

IMO he is an extremely bright child with a thirst for knowledge - he is constantly wanting to learn about the world and how it works. He asks questions constantly and has an extremely (freakishly!) good memory. But school work ‘bores’ him. He is extremely kind and affectionate (sometimes a little too much - likes to hold hands with his friends or kiss them on the cheek - which some don’t appreciate). He’s very loving towards me and his DF although he does have a temper and gets angry quickly recently. He can focus for longs periods of time on playing Lego or computer games, or even listening to a story (a chapter a night).

Do you think this sounds like ADHD? Or something else along those lines? I’m a little clueless on this subject but starting to feel that his lack of focus isn’t something he is able to help atm. I understand the transition from EYFS to year 1 is huge, and of course all kids have been through so much the last 18 months. I just want to be able to support him.

Thanks if you made it this far!

Forgot to add - he is often very hyper, runs everywhere (although is getting better!) and talks literally constantly (unless completely engrossed in Lego or tv or playing a game. He can be extremely loud at times (shouting in an excessively loud and angry voice if I don’t answer first time!)

Watching with interest as this also sounds like my son who is 7.

He's been dismissed as having autism (although I never thought he had) but he definitely has some sensory issues. He is very loving, he's funny and chatty but it extremely easily distracted and has some awful meltdowns.

He hates school as he finds it too hard to concentrate but is also not doing well in any after school type activities as he always says the coaches are 'mean' - basically they don't get him!

I could and written your post OP. My DS is also 5 and started Primary 1 just over a month ago. I've thought he might have ADHD for a couple of years now. A midwife did bring it up briefly, but because he was so young still, I think it was left to a more wait and see and approach

He also has some speech delay, and his teachers have raised these concerns with us and to get referred again to a speech therapist, which he will be seeing soon. Having some sensory issues around loud noises to the point his teacher had to take him out of PE to calm down. Also funny with certain clothing as well and food

I was diagnosed with ADHD last November and have asked a group I'm in, what the best way forward would be to approach this as well. I was told teachers are usually first protocol, but I'm thinking of maybe holding off a bit and see what the speech therapist says

So many typos there sorry!

I could also have written this. Nobody will take us seriously though and I'm not sure where to go with it all.
We had to stop his football classes because he was just taking up so much of the coaches time. It was painful to watch.
I also think I have adhd but its never been diagnosed.

My son has been diagnosed this year with inattentive type. Some of his behaviours/struggles were:

Speech delay
Struggle in reading/writing
Inability to focus
Difficult to get started on assignments without help
Daydreaming
Gives up easily, then realises something Is easy when explained
Understands tests better when the question is read to him
Hyper focussed on specific interests
Sensory issues including with how clothes feel (spends the days in underpants), doesn’t like loud noises
Anxious
Concerned with health, washing hands, can’t stand to be wet

Very black and white thinking. If you say you’ll do something in 5mins, it better be 5 mins
Quite pedantic

So op the thing you have to balance here is the unreasonable expectations put on year 1 children in this country.

Its totally normal developmentally for a 5 year old to find sitting and doing formal learning hard and boring. They are designed to run jump and play on their own schedule

In other countries children usually start school at 7 . Before that they are in play led kindergarten.

He might have attention problems but it may be the setting that is the problem not the child

Some of what you have all said is very similar to DS. Especially the giving up easy or not understanding something until it’s explained slowly to him. He also gets very fixated on things like tv programmes - he goes through phases where theres only one thing he will watch - becomes upset if you suggest anything else! Until one day he moves on and it’s all about that and only that! I don’t know if that’s a normal kid thing though?
But his speech has always been advanced for his and he uses quite complex sentences really. He also talks to us as if he knows better than we do (often he does tbf ).
Whenever I’ve said anything like this to people in the past they’ve always dismissed me as he’s “so bright - he will sail through school” but I don’t feel that it’s always the type of bright that will help with school work. If he’s engaged he’s an expert on it, if not he switches off.
To be honest he has about 3 or 4 different sides to him and I truly believe there’s only myself and DP who know them all properly.

He also may be exhausted from following rules and listening to teachers all day so that going to a football class is the last thing he feels like or is able to do.

Sadly there is no way out if our education system but I would let him be in the park or home just playing aftrt school.

My son is 9 and enjoys school and does wrll but in year 1 and 2 he loathed it

Hmmm I'm just watching. I have a nearly 6yo

waterrat this is what I’m wondering too. I know how bright he is and how he loves to learn. His teacher didn’t reassure me she knew this too as it’s obviously not what she sees. I wonder if now that he’s in year 1 the amount of work compared to reception has just not appealed to him and therefore he’s not engaged and has completely switched off - he seems to at home towards anything I ask him to do. I’ve become so frustrated and angry but wonder if it’s not his fault.

Seeing him a few times at football makes it extremely obvious he’s a little different - completely in his own world. Spinning round making himself dizzy whilst the others are playing, missing his turn because he’s digging in the mud. Maybe he just doesn’t like football? It’s a minefield.

Meant to add, he's very energetic and because of this, has a lot of sleep issues. He's been up since 7am this morning and still bright as a button now in his bed. Been trying to get him to sleep for the past few hours. I can guarantee he'll be knackered tomorrow, but then will still want to go to the park and play after school and the cycle continues

Reminds me very much of DS, we could never get anyone to take us seriously as he was a high achiever, even after DD was diagnosed with mixed ADHD they refused

Eventually we paid to go privately and he was assessed using the gold standard test and diagnosed in 6 weeks with severe mixed adhd just like his sister

Medication has changed their lives

My oldest boy was like this at five.
My husband was
My five year old is to some extent.

The first two both have ADHD. Time will tell with our five year old.

Fairly typical and normal five/six year old behaviour would tick off a whole list of ADHD symptoms which is why you won’t get a diagnosis at this age. The best thing to do is keep an open mind, whilst noting it all down so that if you go down a referral route you can look back on it.

bippity boppity that sounds tough! I hope you get the help and support you need also! DS sleeps quite well so that’s one issue I’ve never really had to deal with. Although I’m with you with the energy thing!
tomnook glad you got the diagnosis you needed. It’s good to hear that you were taken seriously in the end!

That’s a good idea sunbathing I will start to keep a little diary of it all so I have it all documented.

The only thing with a reward chart is that if he has ADHD and he can't help it, it's not really going to help him, and that should be his teacher's main goal.
I hope you get something sorted and writing down everything you've noticed is a great start

Bearing in mind the waiting list for assessment on NHS are typically long (eg 2 years) it might be worth getting the ball rolling even if he seems too young at the moment. Good luck.

Lots of autistic traits mentioned, not typical ADHD, often year 1 shows up special needs that Early Years learning through play could hide. Year 1 is much more structured and expectations jump. Ask SENCO at the school to observe him and make a list of all he things he does for him/her. Start early dont leave it a year or so, he wont be diagnosed as autistic if not but can easily be autistic and not diagnosed. Dont forget autism is a spectrum so behaviour varies massively.

Sounds like my 12 year old DS who has only just been diagnosed with inattentive ADHD after years and years of me asking for help. He ticks everything on Herroyalnotness list apart from speech delay. He reads very well but I had to teach him to read at home - he wasn’t looking at the words long enough to learn any of the so called ‘tricky’ words.

One day the diagnosis letter will finally arrive from the paediatrician and he may, at last, get some support from school and the chance to trial medication. Around here it is currently normal to wait for four months or more for a letter post appointment. DS’s appointment confirming his diagnosis was in July. I call to check progress now and again but apparently the medical secretaries haven’t had time to get to the urgent pile yet. Which he isn’t in. So yes, get him in the system ASAP… My DS was just the same in clubs too, and he’s bottom set for PE despite being very very fit. He stands on a pitch bemused as everything happens around him. Argh! Lovely, lovely boy though. Absolutely full of ideas. Bet yours is awesome too.

Possibly there is a lot of red flags in your OP.
It could be autism with no learning difficulties.
Can you afford a multidisciplinary assessment privately?
It is a lot of money, the public waiting lists are long and early intervention is key.
My DS has all those traits.
Does he over react to minor situations, is he often frustrated and upset?
A disproportionate reaction would be a big indicator for either Adhd or ASD.

@MilkCereal

Lots of autistic traits mentioned, not typical ADHD, often year 1 shows up special needs that Early Years learning through play could hide. Year 1 is much more structured and expectations jump. Ask SENCO at the school to observe him and make a list of all he things he does for him/her. Start early dont leave it a year or so, he wont be diagnosed as autistic if not but can easily be autistic and not diagnosed. Dont forget autism is a spectrum so behaviour varies massively.

I don't know if you have ever met someone with ADHD but all the traits OP mentioned are definitely typical of the condition. My son has ADHD and I could have written this exact post about what it's like to live with him.

@GenieMermaid everything you have said describes my DS pre the age of 12 or so. He is slowly maturing (now 15) and can self regulate better, plus he takes medication. He has an ADHD diagnosis.

Symptoms must show in more than one environment (ie not just school) you described him having the same issues at football and at home. They mist also show before the age of 7. I think it takes a while for you to see the differences as toddlers and young children pretty much all look like they have ADHD!! It's when they mature age 5+ that the ones with ADHD then start to stick out.

Is he also impulsive?

My DS 15, my DD 19 and I have ADHD diagnoses as do my two nieces.

First stop is CAMHS (unfortunately) unless you can afford to go private. CAMHS will likely have a long wait.

Take a look at ADDitude website, lots of valuable info but America centric.

Good luck!

Hi OP, def check out ADHD, autism and sensory processing disorder, there are lots of overlaps.
My DS is autistic with a speech delay, does a lot of role play in his own world etc and has sensory differences which mean he needs to move a lot too.
A couple of thoughts: an occupational therapist might be able to help with a sensory diet - movement breaks at school etc - which could help him focus a bit more.
The other is that my DS often describes school work as boring and his fab teacher last year realised he often meant it was too easy... it sounds like your son might need to be stretched more than he is at the moment, would def ask the teacher to try that too.