To be thinking about ADHD? 5yo year 1

[GenieMermaid]

Hey,

Just looking for some advice or similar experiences as I’m quite worried this evening. Long post! Thanks for reading!

DS has just gone into year 1 and since he started 3 weeks ago he has told me lots that school is boring and that it’s a lot of work and it makes him feel very tired. He’s also told me he has been told off for ‘daydreaming’ and that he is usually the last to finish his work. His teacher also made a comment last week when I picked him up that she had noticed he was in his own world alot (he came sauntering out looking like he’d just woken up!) Today I left a message on the school app asking his teacher to ring me and she did within 5 minutes. She told me he is very distracted in school and ‘in most if not all’ lessons after she has explained what needs to be done he asks again what to do as he hasn’t been able to listen. She said she spoke to his reception teachers about her concerns about him last week (but not me ), and that he is quite slow at finishing work and she would describe his attention span as not being very long. She suggested a reward chart for listening and working quicker and said she will start it with him tomorrow.

We have then taken him to football (activities and a short and simplified match at the end) this evening and watched and DS was in a complete world of his own. Fidgeting and not listening at all, didn’t know when it was his turn and had to be prompted by his team mates who became frustrated with him. I heard one of them say “he’s in my class and he gets told off for not paying attention every single day!” Which has upset me a little!

DS has always been like this to a degree at home, I had concerns when he was much younger but everyone told me “it’s just boys!” but it has gotten much worse over the summer and now being back. I have been at my wits end over the summer and became very very stressed with him ignoring me as I had the whole time off work. School reports for reception and nursery were glowing - he was ahead on his reading, and where he needs to be for everything else at the end of reception - but then he did choose to play outside most of the time which he loves to do.

IMO he is an extremely bright child with a thirst for knowledge - he is constantly wanting to learn about the world and how it works. He asks questions constantly and has an extremely (freakishly!) good memory. But school work ‘bores’ him. He is extremely kind and affectionate (sometimes a little too much - likes to hold hands with his friends or kiss them on the cheek - which some don’t appreciate). He’s very loving towards me and his DF although he does have a temper and gets angry quickly recently. He can focus for longs periods of time on playing Lego or computer games, or even listening to a story (a chapter a night).

Do you think this sounds like ADHD? Or something else along those lines? I’m a little clueless on this subject but starting to feel that his lack of focus isn’t something he is able to help atm. I understand the transition from EYFS to year 1 is huge, and of course all kids have been through so much the last 18 months. I just want to be able to support him.

Thanks if you made it this far!

I think you may well be right. My teen has always been similar and I am sure she would be diagnosed with inattentive ADHD. (I haven't bothered to pursue a diagnosis since she's home educated so she doesn't need adaptations at school; she just learns in her own way.)

However, my kids also have a few friends who appeared "spacy" and in a world of their own where it was because of hearing problems. Glue ear is very common and gives variable hearing loss from day to day or even hour to hour, so even if a child passes a hearing test it is no guarantee that he always hears well. Might be worth exploring if you haven't done so already.

I really don’t think he is autistic to be honest, although I’m no expert. He has very good social skills (albeit intense at times), no problems with eye contact etc. He’s also very tuned into to other people emotions, able to empathise etc and can label how he is feeling himself and does this often. He does sometimes overreact to minor situations but I wouldn’t say this is commonplace or a major concern - no more than most little kids - although he has been doing it more recently. Overall he is a very happy confident little boy.

Thanks catherine I think I will wait until the end of term and see if he has settled more - if not I will try and get the school to involve the SENCO. I’m not sure we could afford any private assessments although wouldn’t even know where to go for that!

Watching with interest. My husband has ADHD. My daughter is only 2 but we see alot of traits in her though because of developmental bits it isnt clear in children so young. I am waiting for as assessment for ADHD myself. Will be following to see other people's experiences

3 adhders here. Schools can be quite good at spotting them if hyperactive and very inattentive. Unfortunately nhs here wont even consider putting on waiting list until 6

Go speak GP OP as they will be the ones who referr for adhd testing.

@GenieMermaid it can be exhausting can't it? But then he'll be so tired and in the morning and grumpy

He's also very distracted, doesn't appear to listen even though he doesn't have any hearing issues. It did cross some specialists minds when he had speech delay, but they said he's hearing is fine. A lot of melt downs and very black and white thinking. Special interests

Again, as a lot of PP's have mentioned, it could just an age thing, as he's only 5, so I'm in two minds whether to bring this up or not

However, because I also have ADHD, diagnosed, I know it can also be hereditary. And it is something that I have thought about for a couple of years now. Even before I was told I had it! Which came as a bit of a shock if I'm being honest. Didn't even recognise it in myself 😂 my mental health team brought it up

So I'm really not sure what to do. I guess if my gut instinct is telling me something is not right, then there must be something in it? I don't think I'm imagining it. Or maybe if I tell the school I have a diagnosis, it might hold more weight? I'm really not sure how it works

Or like I said before, maybe hold off and see what the speech therapist says

And I agree with you, I don't think my son is autistic either. I am aware there's a lot of overlap with adhd and autism. But then I could be wrong about my DS with that too. It's a bit of a minefield

Sounds like my 5 year old. I really think the expectations on children this young are too great. Some of them are entirely fine to do the work but there's not the concentration to do work, some can some can't- but that anyone slightly immature is now labelled a problem student.

Mainstream education never had the ability to suit all of the students, but it is get to g more restricted. Teachers are trained to push children through hoops, not to foster learning.

I’ve just come across this post and wondered how your DS is doing now a couple of months on OP @GenieMermaid (and everyone else’s!).

So much of what is written here is just like my DS, also 5 and in year 1. He has never had a speech delay (in fact his speech was always good, although not unusually so) although he was late to walk (18 months) and his coordination has been late to catch up, although conversely he also nailed bike riding straight away aged 4, and is great on a 2 wheeled scooter.

So much of the other descriptions are him to a tee. The fidgeting and looking around at football club, the appearing to not listen. He wanders off a lot at school, to the toilets or what have you, and he can also be disruptive, lots of silliness/shouting out.

I have wondered in the past about ASD but as it’s a social communication disorder I don’t see it as he gets older (like yours @GenieMermaid he easily talks about feelings, empathetic etc, picks up on the atmosphere in the house, has friends etc). I am now wondering a lot about ADHD however and also possible dyspraxia (except for the bike riding!). I’m sure my DH has a form of ADHD although not diagnosed. He was always called a day dreamer etc as a child, at home and in school, and he is still really forgetful and spacey. He used to wander off in school too!

My DS also definitely has some sensory issues, mainly loud noises as like most kids he hated hand dryers but is still not keen, and also he hates the loud noise of fireworks etc. It’s not hugely disruptive to his life but he is definitely more sensitive to loud noises than some. And hates to wear socks in the house, bare feet or slippers only!

Hello, I just wanted to add not to rule out dyslexia too; it's not just about reading and writing, concentrating and organising can also be challenging for young people with dyslexia.

ADD (without the Hyper) can also be present as described. There's also cross overs with adhd and autism, and if only mild it can be difficult to diagnose at this age.

It can be difficult to go through all the assessments and chase labels; ultimately it doesn't sound like something he can control and the school should be using better strategies.

He has an attention span with things that interest him, so I would be looking at the autistic spectrum and sensory processing disorders.

I actually think it can be quite hard to tell where the line is between what counts as normal and something that's diagnosable. A lot of what you've said sounds like my nephew who is in yr2 and currently being assessed for adhd or related. NHS sent them away, said if there is something it's not enough of an issue for them to assess, so they are going down the private route. Mainly because he's got anger issues which are getting physical. Also still wetting himself multiple times a day. I wouldn't like to call which way that assessment will go though because a lot of what they say just sounds normal to me and very similar to my daughter. Although more extreme.

Hi OP - just wondered how things are panning out with your son? Very similar to my current situation with mine and I'm wondering what the future may hold