I know there are bigger problems in the world and I’ve laughed this stuff off for years (it’s a compliment and all that) but it’s starting to really get to me and I just can’t understand it.
My mother (in her 70s) doesn’t seem particularly interested in my house/stuff when she’s here. She’ll never say “ooh that’s nice where did you get it” or “I love that style” etc. in fact, she never says anything, like she’s decidedly disinterested. But once she’s gone, a few days later she’ll text saying she fancies a new xxx with a link to the exact same thing I have and asking what I think about it. If I say “urm… it’s just like mine” she’ll feign ignorance and say she’d never noticed that I had the same thing, which is just crazy because she sits in front of it all the time!
Things she’s copied: paint colours (distinctive bold colours and very unlike her), wardrobe and dressing table (they don’t even match her room), exact same distinctive patterned carpet, sideboard, desk, and computer (she doesn’t even use a computer!), fireplace and hearth, paintings on the wall, same very specific vintage collectible. There was also a craft I started doing and I sent her something I’d made. When I went to her house the next time, her spare room was full of supplies for this craft and she said “hey look what I’ve started doing, do you like them?” Obviously I said “of course, I make these too” and she pretended she didn’t know that I made them. I started looking through the bits and pieces and she showed me a box with lots of examples in it “this is my inspiration box” she said. I spotted the thing I’d made in there and she must have seen it at the same time as she suddenly grabbed the box from me and surreptitiously slide mine out and under a pile of papers.
My partner decided we should take out the (non-functional) fireplace and put the tv and dvd storage there. I was miffed but agreed it was more practical. I mentioned missing it to my mum as I thought it just looked cosy dressed up at Christmas. A few weeks later she had the exact same period fireplace installed (which she would have had to buy reclaimed from somewhere) as if it was a brand new idea of hers and kept saying how lovely and cosy it was now and how much she loves it.
Trying not to be too outing with this one but I showed her something I was getting installed in my home that I had paid for but couldn’t have fitted for a while. She only went and bought it and got it installed first! It was almost the exact same thing - looked the same but was a different version. When she realised it was the different version that I was getting, she looked really wide-eyed and shocked and said “I thought you were getting this version?” I thought nothing of it but a few weeks later she had the whole thing ripped out and replaced with the version I was getting even though it looked exactly the same. It’s complete madness.
A few months ago I needed to get a new car and mentioned to her that I’d love xxx car but couldn’t afford it and I ended up buying something else. My dad had no idea of this conversation but recently said to me “it’s weird but mum is suddenly obsessed with getting xxx car even though ours is fine” and that she was desperately searching the listings all day, every day, even considering ones at the opposite end of the country! It’s bonkers! Luckily my dad vetoed it.
AIBU to have had enough now? I just don’t see how she can send me a photo of her new hallway with my carpet, my side table, my very specific vintage collectible that she’s never had an interest in displayed on it and ask if I like it. And then claim that she has never noticed that my hallway is EXACTLY the same!
It can’t just be that she likes my style or can’t put things together herself so copies mine, as my friend keeps telling me. It’s like she stalks everything about me, trying to replicate my life and outdo me whenever she can, which is weird and a bit hurtful tbh - why would she feel compelled to do this?
Any insight would be helpful. I’m starting to worry for her sanity (and my own).