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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

That this is weird and I don't know what to do

50 replies

Quick99 · 21/09/2021 17:24

Weird one looking for detached answers from people outside situation please.
I moved my dd a couple years ago from a failing school to another school a couple of villages along. At this time another parent of failing school I knew from PTA events (her child in different year group) contacted
Me as she was thinking of moving her children I will call this woman Ann. I gave her some bits of advice regarding the council etc and kept her updated about how my dd was getting on. Ann was and is far better off financially than me so I assumed she'd move her children to private school she moved them to dd new school.
I met up with her a few times for coffee and went on a few nights out with her with my friends so of whom thought she was a bit off but I liked her and felt I wanted to include her.
She started to become friendly with mums in my year group also (though her children are different ages).
Ann took it upon herself to organise a surprise bday party for me which was odd as we weren't really that friendly and she has only met some of my friends and the school mums I knew so lots people not invited also my husband and close friends found it really weird. I tried to see that she was being nice but it did feel awkward.
Long story short she then upset one of my long term friends basically Ann tried it on with a good friend of mine then accused her of being a liar.
At this point other friends had told me that they'd heard rumours of Ann being unhinged and volatile. I tried to keep my distance from Ann which she was not happy about she started on me on the school run. Also staring at me and creeping me out.
She added friends of mine she hadn't met from my facebook to be her friend. The house next door to me went up for sale she put an offer in on it thank goodness someone else brought it in the end. She's started hanging around a lot with the mums in my year group which is fine I've tried to take a step back and I've not gossiped about her just gone grey rock.
I volunteered for a number of years in a small niche charity not local to to me as in same village it's in the next city along. its not aligned to Ann's profession at all normally there's about 10 or under volunteers so a very small charity. Today the charity shared the 2 latest volunteer recruits one of which being Ann.
This is all so weird isn't it?!

OP posts:
Quick99 · 21/09/2021 17:30

Sorry that was long

OP posts:
IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 21/09/2021 17:32

Yes. It certainly sounds odd

CurlyWurly321 · 21/09/2021 17:36

What's that movie called where she lets the puppy die off the balcony?

Single white female I think??

Thats

VippingQ · 21/09/2021 17:39

Single white female.

Quick99 · 21/09/2021 17:42

😢 My thoughts now but my husband thinks apart from the bday party the rest is just coincidences she was looking for a house in village and that was a good price. The mums she's friendly with my year are similar to Ann. The charity she may remembered me working for them but not copying me directly.

OP posts:
evtheria · 21/09/2021 17:45

:/ I’m glad mumsnet is currently unanimous in saying ‘yeah, it’s weird’. At this point I’d be keeping a journal of it all or sharing all the details with a trusted person, just for a record.

HatsOnHatsOff · 21/09/2021 17:45

Definitely weird. Is there someone you can talk to at the charity?

JustDanceAddict · 21/09/2021 17:48

Def weird.

damnthisvirusandmarriage · 21/09/2021 17:52

I had something similar happen at DDs first school with a mom. Following. Copying. It was really bizarre. Ended up leaving the school coz of it. Just to get away from her and her just as odd husband. There’s a lot more to it than that. They still weird me out, spread rumours and all sorts. Things she’s just jealous.

Tiramiwho · 21/09/2021 17:54

Definitely very odd.
When you said that your friends thought she was abit "Off" did they say- or can you guess- what they meant?
It seemed they picked up on something quickly Confused

FOJN · 21/09/2021 17:55

Sounds very stalkerish. I'd make sure I kept a record of everything that's happened just in case you need to escalate things and I'd continue with the grey rock. Will you be able to avoid her when you are volunteering?

HyggeTygge · 21/09/2021 17:57

You asked Ann to plan a surprise party for you - at least that's how I remember it, Amanda Grin

Theunamedcat · 21/09/2021 17:58

Lock up your bunny and hide your puppy

Notaroadrunner · 21/09/2021 18:01

Very weird and not coincidences imo. If she does start at the charity I'd be leaving before her first shift.

Elieza · 21/09/2021 18:02

I’m not sure it’s weird.

I think she just sounds lonely and doesn’t have many friends so she’s latched into you.

Possibly the reason she doesn’t have many friends is because she’s weird or annoying. Who knows.

CleopatrasBeautifulNose · 21/09/2021 18:06

Could be harmless, could be a crazy stalker, either way it's not coincidences it's weird. Distance and grey rock this to death. Remain completely neutral and give her zero ammunition.
Not worth giving her the benefit of the doubt as she is adding nothing to your life if she is pissing off your oldest friends!

Underamour · 21/09/2021 18:10

Does she know you volunteer? Re the trying it on with someone- is she gay? Some things don’t add up here- it might be that she is trying to befriend everyone and get involved locally and doing it very awkwardly. Also sounds like she is being wendied by your oldest friend. I can’t see how she could possibly know where you volunteer???

Laiste · 21/09/2021 18:15

''Long story short she then upset one of my long term friends basically Ann tried it on with a good friend of mine then accused her of being a liar.''

Tried it on sexually?

WhyWhyWhyMum · 21/09/2021 18:22

@HyggeTygge

You asked Ann to plan a surprise party for you - at least that's how I remember it, Amanda Grin
🤔
FrasierCraneDay · 21/09/2021 18:24

@HyggeTygge

You asked Ann to plan a surprise party for you - at least that's how I remember it, Amanda Grin
Should we assume you know the op?
Cryalot2 · 21/09/2021 18:24

She sounds one to avoid.
Did you ask her to plan the party?
I would block her on sm if you are on it.
Seems to want your friends , surely she had ones of her own.?
It is bullying/stalkering .

ShowOfHands · 21/09/2021 18:28

@HyggeTygge

You asked Ann to plan a surprise party for you - at least that's how I remember it, Amanda Grin
🤣

Did you do your dance at the party Amanda?

Quick99 · 21/09/2021 18:29

Yep sexually apparently she's bisexual this would fit with other rumours I've been told since she's tried it on with people then got aggressive after.
I've been quite vocal about the charity it's been a passion of mine so shared it on my social media etc and it links very closely to my professional too. I stopped volunteering there a few months ago due to now I'm. Working full time but I still help out some of their events so I'm part of the charity's networks so I probably wouldn't bump into Ann at many things to do with that luckily.

OP posts:
Quick99 · 21/09/2021 18:31

😅🤣I think the Amanda thing is motherland but I'm deffo not an Amanda I wish I had her figure though.
No I didn't ask Ann to organise it lol most definitely not super super awkward night

OP posts:
22Giraffes · 21/09/2021 18:32

@HyggeTygge

You asked Ann to plan a surprise party for you - at least that's how I remember it, Amanda Grin
Brilliant! Grin👏👏
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