To think this won't be embarrassing?

[melicu]

Im happy to be told I'm BU as DS is my only child.

DS is 20, and in his final year of uni. He lives with his friend in a flat. He's about 3.5 hours away, I saw him briefly in July but then he went back to where his university is. We do call and text regularly though.

He has asked me if I want to visit him this weekend, I said yes. I was telling my sister that I might take him (and his friend) some food, my sister has told me not to as it'll embarrass DS and his friends mum probably doesn't so that.

AIBU in thinking this won't embarrass him?

Dd1 is 21 and at uni locally, she lives with her boyfriend about 10 mins drive from us. We regularly give her food, often she tags along to Tesco with us to stock up. She loves getting stuff from home!

Does your sister have dc this age/stage?

My dd is starting uni soon and she would LOVE if I did that.

This is a pretty normal thing to do with student dc or even just dc who've just moved out.

My parents used to send/bring "care packages" some practical things, some fun "in joke" things, or they'd take me for a supermarket shop while they were visiting and they'd be like "go ooon get the nice beans, get some cake..."

My dad was army and this sometimes resulted in some weird deliveries like the 3 trays of baklava when he'd just come back from a tour of Turkey! They soon got polished off though! I don't think they lasted even 2 days! Students are like locusts!

They did the same with my siblings

When I was at uni the 2nd time it was less so, but I was obviously aware of how the other students parents behaved and this is a totally normal thing to do

Totally normal thing to do!

As my DB seemed to live on plain pasta at uni, I'm sure it'll be very welcome!

I once took my nephew a couple of big pizza's and a box of beer. All his housemates called me Auntie that day 😌

My DDs flatmates request birthday cakes.

I often pop over with baked items.

Im 40 odd with 3 kids and my mum still sends me food parcels

My mum still brings food when she comes to visit me (weekly!). I'm 43 🤣

YANBU He will definitely not be embarrassed!!

It wouldn't be embarrassing but tbh I'd recommend you taking him to a supermarket and paying for a shop (of his choosing!)

When I was at uni my big sister came to visit me and took me to Tesco and for dinner. I was blown away and have never ever forgotten that a seemingly small thing for her really made a difference for me, and changed my view of her. She was no longer my alien big sister but a wonderful generous woman who I've always looked up to really and in adulthood value her so much more than when we were kids.

Have a fun time with your DS!

I moved out at 19 and my dad used to drop food parcels at my work for me. He knew I was skint and would rather spend money going out than on food.

25 years later I still work at the same place and he is still remembered as a legend as he would sometime drop off treats for the office with my parcel. Reception would call me to say the food angel had arrived.

I was very lucky to have such a great dad, not embarrassing at all.

I'm 30, with a fiance and child, live over the water from my parents

My dad still sends me random supermarket deliveries with lovingly picked treats and when they visit mum and dad still bring treats and cook me a dinner 😁

You have to be wierd not to appreciate the gift of food, I always think it's the ultimate expression of care, especially when we make do with mostly home grown and few treats the rest of the time.

My son is at Uni too and almost 20. I have sent various treats for him and his roommate and they love it! Definitely won’t embarrass anyone!

Not embarrassing at all. Not sure why your sister would think it is.

I still remember the food when I lived in a house share. My housemate's parents were from Sri Lanka and used to bring enormous tubs of food which she shared out. We feasted for a week whenever they visited and absolutely loved it.

I imagine he’d be disappointed if you didn’t turn up with food!

Just don't mention the time he tucked his willy between his legs

If he’s invited you he won’t be embarrassed at you being there and it is very thoughtful inviting him and a friend out for dinner. Have a lovely time 🙂

I always took mine food and beer all his housemates loved it. Occasionally I used to order them a dominoes if I knew they were studying for exams or essays
Everyone of them mentioned it at his graduation.
Take the food

I used to live it when my mum brought me food at uni. Bags of the stuff she'd bring and frozen dinners she'd made and some of my favourite Chinese place.

It's not embarrassing it's appreciated.

You could just ask him? But I think it would be odd if a student didn't appreciate free food!

Maybe you’re sister is a terrible cook?hence why she would think people would be embarrassed to receive food from her 💁🏾 X

Your*

My mum came to stay the night and typically there was a fire alarm that night, the 16 storey building got evacuated so she was standing with hundreds of us in her PJs in the car park outside for hours 😂 a mixture of students coming back from nights out and others who had been rudely awoken. And a (brilliant and pissed - on my cheap cherry lambrini that she'd never tried before) middle aged woman half embarrassed and half thrilled, asking everyone questions and saying she wished she was young again, giving out life advice and telling them all she bets their parents are thinking of them and missing them. One of my favourite ever memories of us together as it was so ridiculous - thank you for reminding me of it

Seems to me like she's confused him for a moody 13-year-old. Some people are bad at knowing what young people are like at certain ages. Uni students love free food.