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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my house is too bloody cramped to WFH

35 replies

INeedToBuyaZoo · 21/09/2021 14:39

I've been weaning off sertraline so I can try a different medication for anxiety and shit, it's left me feeling like utter dirt and one of the things I do when I am feeling like dirt is hoard furniture (hey, at least I don't gamble anymore).

The other thing I do other than hoard furniture is move furniture around. So, today I am sat in my utterly cluttered house that I have turned upside down over the past week deciding its time to move my desk from my bedroom. For some reason the "change" might make me feel good, or at least thats what my addled brain is telling me.

Help me! I have options and realistically they're all shit anyway.

Where it currently is my bedroom. Spare room isn't an option as thats my other half's man cave although I could work in there during the day as he isn't home but I don't like to see the mess he creates so I don't go in there.

Option 2 is the otherside ofthe kitchen. The fridge on the rightis going to the tip and to the left of the fridge freezer is a chest of drawers and a chair that are going. So there is space. It's just in the kitchen

In my head I want to have space in my bedroom but then again when I am depressed I literally roll out of bed and onto my chair so.

Someone adult for me I can't today.

And yes, furniture is slowly disappearing from my house don't worry.

To think my house is too bloody cramped to WFH
To think my house is too bloody cramped to WFH
To think my house is too bloody cramped to WFH
OP posts:
Gorl · 21/09/2021 14:43

You have lots of lovely, happy looking houseplants ❤️

I would go for the kitchen. I often work in ours as is bright and close to snacks. Don’t be put off just by virtue of it being the kitchen if it’s the room with the most space.

QforCucumber · 21/09/2021 14:45

It doesn't look cramped, there's just a lot in it.

personally I'd remove the 'man cave' why is he allowed a room when he's out all day yet you aren't? it either becomes a shared space which you're both allowed to use or your office as he leaves the house to work and you don't

TakeYourFinalPosition · 21/09/2021 14:46

If you WFH, why does your other half have a man cave? Surely if he’s out at work, that’s your office by default?

It seems selfish for him to keep a room that you could make better use of, on the face of it…

But I’d go for the kitchen if it’s biggest. I used to like working in my old kitchen, it was spacious and bright. I’d prefer that to working in my bedroom Smile

Freddiefox · 21/09/2021 14:46

I love you dresser with the tree on it ..

To be honest I think you need to dump lots of bits as it might be easier for your mental health to have clear sides. But put it by the fridge out of your bedroom

luxright · 21/09/2021 14:48

To be honest a "man cave" isn't essential. I'm sure my DH would love one but the spare room is my office as I need a dedicated space to WFH. Can you talk to your partner and ask if he will give up his space to aid your mental health? Flowers

I agree with PP about the plants, I think I spy a monstera on top of your fridge...Smile.

itsgrand · 21/09/2021 14:50

kitchen looks a good spot where the dog crate is. I definitely would not have my desk etc in the bedroom!!! Can the man cave room be divided in two so you each your own area in it?

BarbaraofSeville · 21/09/2021 14:51

Can you remove two or three pieces of furniture from the room with the exercise bike in it and put your desk in there?

If you could get rid of one of the dresser type units and what looks like a heavy duty coffee table up on it's end, you should have room for your desk?

You also appear to have two fridges, do you really need both of them? Losing one of those will make a lot more space. Can you focus on this even if getting rid of things is hard at the moment?

Amammi · 21/09/2021 14:52

Your kitchen looks so warm and inviting, love the colours - go for a spot in there it’s healthier for you to air your bedroom by day and have it as a calm fresh space for restful sleep. I stress sometimes about work when I lie down to sleep. Don’t know how much worse I’d be if I could see the desk from my pillow.

OakPine · 21/09/2021 14:54

What hobbies does your partner do in the man cave? Could you tempt him to move to a "workshop" (big shed) in the garden instead? Then you could have the spare room as an office. That seems fair if you are wfh.
Or is the spare room big enough that you could partition it in 2 with a big bookcase perhaps, and have half each?

If not, I'd work in the kitchen. I wfh in the corner of the bedroom because there is no other space, and it is quite disheartening to roll out of bed 2 steps to the desk! The space you have where the fridge/freezer looks good. Could the animal beds be moved elsewhere to give more space?

TastyToastie · 21/09/2021 15:03

I'm so envious of people who manage to keep plants alive.

I think your bedroom spot and the one with the plants both look lovely but I totally get the separation thing. Could you bring yourself to go for a 10min walk before and after work as a pseudo-commute? I find just a few mins' fresh air before work really helps.

Otherwise presumably your partner wants you to get better. Could you take over the spare room for a couple of weeks while he takes one or the other options? (And why does it ALWAYS seem to be the bloke who gets first dibs on the best workspace?) That might give you the change you're craving.

Sexnotgender · 21/09/2021 15:03

What is in the “man cave”?

He gets a whole room for pissing around in while you scrabble trying to find space to work?

That’s a raging pile of bollocks for a start.

trumpisagit · 21/09/2021 15:04

I agree. Clear out the 'man cave'. Maybe it can be a Woman Grotto.
You need it as an office.

RandomMess · 21/09/2021 15:07

Spare room becomes your office and he either shares and keeps it tidy or moves his stuff elsewhere.

Why does his hobby take precedence of your job and mental health?

Ughmaybenot · 21/09/2021 15:11

@Sexnotgender

What is in the “man cave”?

He gets a whole room for pissing around in while you scrabble trying to find space to work?

That’s a raging pile of bollocks for a start.

I agree with this I’m afraid, it’s a bit ridiculous that he has a room for faffing in and you’re so up against it for space to work.
Chloemol · 21/09/2021 15:14

I would do kitchen, or you share the spare room, half is your space half is his and he has to be tidy, why should he have a room to himself?

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 21/09/2021 15:15

If you WFH, why does your other half have a man cave? Surely if he’s out at work, that’s your office by default?

100% this - first thing that jumped out at me!

Original poster
INeedToBuyaZoo · 21/09/2021 15:15

To be fair....him having a man cave (cave implies it's big, it's really not) means his guitars, music making whatever, many consoles and massive desk are confined to one area. It's also the room with the noisy boiler. I can move my laptop dock and hook up to his monitors. He mainly works away every day (painter Decorator) but during the quiet months he will probably be home a bit more.

If I were to turf him out I'd have to relocate all the things I've kept confined to that one room

Re fridge, it's going outside and I'm taking it to the tip. There is potentially twice as much room in that kitchen once I've chucked stuff this evening. I could move a dresser in there and use the space in the living room. I'm just not sure I want to be in his stinky man cave haha

OP posts:
Bolognesedoc · 21/09/2021 15:19

The kitchen sounds like the ideal solution. I don't have anywhere to work either so I understand the frustration!

StarCat2020 · 21/09/2021 15:20

Is it just the two of you that live there (other than dogs)?

purplesequins · 21/09/2021 15:24

I agree with the others. you wfh must have priority over mancave.
swap his stuff with your desk in the bedroom.

try to build in a 'communte', like a 10 minute walk, preferably in daylight.

Annoyedanddissapointed · 21/09/2021 15:26

Agree about that kitchen. Ime moving from ebdroom to different space makes MASSIVE difference. Helps sleep etc. It's good to have separate areas for separate things. Sleep - bedroom, relax- living room(or a part of it, can be mentally seperated), kitchen busier things.
I also separate room uses by colours. each room has a different colour.

Great house plants! Someone I know drilled hooks into the wall to hold all the planters (like floating shelves! Real nice) and it not only looks great, it also saves crapload of space

Annoyedanddissapointed · 21/09/2021 15:28

I've just realised they are all quite substantial plants😁😂 scrap the wall idea.
Have you got moss pole for the monstera?

willrufford · 21/09/2021 15:40

Surely WORK is more important than hobbies.
You are already on the right track to improve life:
1)Wanting to move screens out of bedroom, so that you don't see work as soon as you open your eyes. Even at 2.00am!!! That would be draining.
2) Starting to declutter, perhaps accelerate that a little.
Might a more professional multi screen set up help you work better.

RandomMess · 21/09/2021 15:44

Kitchen is far far far better than your bedroom.

Anything that needs to a new home needs to go in the man cave/overflow storage room.

Pythonesque · 21/09/2021 15:55

Think about the light where you will be working too. I agree that it looks like your kitchen or living room will work. Good luck finding a solution that improves how you function, and keep up the good work decluttering.

(looks around guiltily)