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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Will I get this back?

59 replies

Alwaysblowingballoonsup · 20/09/2021 18:30

Dd started nursery first day of September, hasn’t settled well and really miserable. It wasn’t the childcare setting I expected and she won’t be going back. I had the meeting today and the head was disappointed, I asked what happens next and she said nothing 🤷🏻‍♀️I’m just to go in and collect her things tomorrow.
When she started, I paid a deposit, the months fees and for her art apron. I didn’t have time to discuss this as just really wanted to get it said that she wouldn’t be coming back.
Anyone know the general rules on this?

OP posts:
LIZS · 20/09/2021 20:47

Depends on the type of setting - daycare nursery, preschool/nursery, nursery at a private school etc - and the contract you entered into. Do you get Early Years funding?

Theriband · 20/09/2021 20:49

I smell bullshit

iwillalwaysloveyou · 20/09/2021 20:49

It’s all very well saying you won’t pay the notice period but if you signed a contract they’ll probably chase you for it

seaandsandcastles · 20/09/2021 20:55

If it’s in your contract, you’ll have to pay it.

FuckingFlumps · 20/09/2021 20:56

@iwillalwaysloveyou

It’s all very well saying you won’t pay the notice period but if you signed a contract they’ll probably chase you for it
Exactly.

I appreciate it wasn't a good fit for your daughter but you are the one who has breached the contract so unfortunately saying you won't do it means very little of they chase you for the money they are contractually entitled to.

noprofessional · 20/09/2021 20:57

Hmm

treesandweeds · 20/09/2021 20:58

How do you know they shouted at her daily?

CiaoForNiao · 20/09/2021 20:59

How do you know she was shouted at daily?

And if she was, I'd be contacting ofsted as well!

Cocomarine · 20/09/2021 21:00

@LIZS

Depends on the type of setting - daycare nursery, preschool/nursery, nursery at a private school etc - and the contract you entered into. Do you get Early Years funding?
I’d put money on private school nursery - nobody else charges you for an art apron for a THREE year old!
LIZS · 20/09/2021 21:02

@Cocomarine I wondered too, in which case it may be a term's fees-plus a term's notice or fees in lieu. Otherwise a Montessori nursery or similar.

Whinge · 20/09/2021 21:05

[quote Alwaysblowingballoonsup]@Whinge Two and a half weeks really and it was hard enough to wait that long. Wanted to (hoped) she’d settle/enjoy it[/quote]
Why would you hope she'd settle in an environment where she was apparently being shouted at daily. Confused If it really was that traumatic then you should have removed her immediately and made an official complaint.

LonelySock · 20/09/2021 21:10

You'll probably get billed and if you refuse to pay they'll probably take it further. If they do, you'd definitely 100% lose in court, so don't let it go that far.

Original poster
Alwaysblowingballoonsup · 20/09/2021 21:10

@Theriband Eh?

I live abroad, it’s normal where we are to pay for the apron overall uniform at a private setting. They wear it for messy work and when eating lunch etc, they wear it from being babies. I appreciate the U.K. doesn’t do this

OP posts:
Original poster
Alwaysblowingballoonsup · 20/09/2021 21:14

Yes, I imagine I’ll have to pay something sadly. She didn’t say, when I asked what happens now, did I have to sign anything etc, she just said nothing happens.
I signed a contract but she hadn’t given me my copy of it yet, if that makes a difference at all? I’m guessing not.
I need to get the contract and look through it, it’s not written in English so will be harder, I can translate it, but will likely struggle with more complicated terms/phrases.
She hadn’t even worn the brand new apron cover up yet as came out twice with soup down her dress and t-shirt

OP posts:
eekbumbler · 20/09/2021 21:14

[quote Alwaysblowingballoonsup]@Theriband Eh?

I live abroad, it’s normal where we are to pay for the apron overall uniform at a private setting. They wear it for messy work and when eating lunch etc, they wear it from being babies. I appreciate the U.K. doesn’t do this[/quote]
I don't know, most of us do use a covering to protect our children during eating or messy play.

I think bullshit was being called of your drip feed of your child being shouted at all day.

They don't tend to do that in the UK.

Original poster
Alwaysblowingballoonsup · 20/09/2021 21:15

@whinge I wasn’t stew what to do as Dd can be quite strong and was likely not following their instructions, however she’s only 3

OP posts:
Original poster
Alwaysblowingballoonsup · 20/09/2021 21:16

@eekbumbler No, I know they don’t, here they’re a lot more old school

OP posts:
WoozySnoozy · 20/09/2021 21:18

with soup down her dress and t-shirt how much soup? I love it when my LO comes out of nursery messy, they learn more that way.

FuckingFlumps · 20/09/2021 21:19

I signed a contract but she hadn’t given me my copy of it yet, if that makes a difference at all? I’m guessing not.
I need to get the contract and look through it, it’s not written in English so will be harder, I can translate it, but will likely struggle with more complicated terms/phrases.

You signed a contract you couldn't understand Shock. Why on earth would you do that???

WoozySnoozy · 20/09/2021 21:20

Sounds a bit odd them not giving you your copy.

Peanutsandchilli · 20/09/2021 21:25

You'll have to pay what your contract states. How do you know she's been shouted at all day? Did a staff member tell you that or is it just how your 3 year old has interpreted it? If she's not doing as she's told (and at 3 she should be able to) then it may be necessary for staff to be more firm in the way they speak to her.

I'd argue that two and a half weeks isn't long enough for a child to settle properly and you may be creating further problems by teaching her that if she doesn't follow instructions, it's fine because she can always go elsewhere.

Cocomarine · 20/09/2021 21:26

What is the point in asking a predominantly U.K. site what the “general rules” are on this when you’re in another country, and another legal jurisdiction?

Obviously some idea of - “whatever your contract says” is going to apply in any country.

But general rules?! It’s not going to be relevant.

Just translate your contract on google translate.

Cocomarine · 20/09/2021 21:27

[quote Alwaysblowingballoonsup]@Theriband Eh?

I live abroad, it’s normal where we are to pay for the apron overall uniform at a private setting. They wear it for messy work and when eating lunch etc, they wear it from being babies. I appreciate the U.K. doesn’t do this[/quote]
Cover aprons are also a thing in the U.K. - but as I said, it’s a nursery as part of private school thing, where they love any excuse to charge more for a bit of extra uniform!

Original poster
Alwaysblowingballoonsup · 20/09/2021 21:27

Great comments 🤷🏻‍♀️

Thanks, will leave it there!

OP posts:
eekbumbler · 20/09/2021 21:28

Old school sounds a worry then!

None of us can answer really - other than to say you are likely to be held to contract and to expect a bill rather than a refund.

I'm still being chased for 2 days childcare from an out of school club that I am refusing to pay as my daughter was not booked in for those days.

It has been 5 years now, every so often I will get a letter threatening court action for a debt of £100. I tell them go for it. The club has since closed so someone is chasing their debts for them and nobosy wants to hear the facts that she was not booked in for those days.

Keep quiet in the meantime though, see what happens. If all else fails you have a nice apron for home activities - get the paints out!