To tell you that the ick does not exist

[Theickdoesnotexist]

You might have fallen out of love with someone you’ve been with ages.

Or gone off sex because you’re peri menopausal or have young DCs or are just tired.

Or gone off someone you’re dating

Or changed your mind

All these are fine

But the ICK - why is this being banded about like it’s an established Thing?

[VladmirsPoutine]

Getting the ick is terrible. I've just been reminiscing and my god it's terrible.

[Alcemeg]

I think it's shorthand to describe a gut feeling that might not make rational sense until long after the relationship has ended.

[Maddison12]

YABU because it definitely exists and I've experienced it.

YANBU because to me it seems more like a term one would use when they'd been dating someone a couple of months.

[Steeple]

@Theickdoesnotexist

So three children ask why did you divorce daddy and you say I had the ick.

Or is it too much to use actual words?

Well, it’s a bit wordy to say ‘Well, actually darling, after fifteen years I caught a sudden glimpse of your father cutting his toenails with a constipated expression/was suddenly repulsed by his orgasm face/liking for Def Lepppard/the way he masticated his cornflakes, and knew it was over.’

[Foxlover46]

I only ever heard of the ick through watching ( ssshhhh..... love island )

[BSideBaby]

Of course it's real OP. But I'm sure you're aware of that.

Do you mean you find the term 'ick' babyish (implied by your patronising assertion that it's not difficult to use real words)? You might find life less stressful if you give up trying to control the actions of others, rational or otherwise.

[CandyLeBonBon]

Blimey op, who pissed on your chips tonight??

Don't like the word? Don't use it. Others can and have experienced it and will use the phrase if they want to.

You're not the language police!

[crapbuttrue]

@Gorl

The ick definitely exists. Otherwise I wouldn’t have gone from ‘madly in lust and envisaging a happy future’ to ‘creeped out and preparing to break up’ overnight with my ex when he shaved his beard and revealed a weak chin.

Oh god yes. Beards hide a multitude of sins 😂

[AngelicaSchuylerAndHerSisters]

The ick is absolutely real - but it is none of the things you describe, OP.
It happened to me on a third date when the guy turned up in a cardigan and called me bright eyes. I suddenly had to get away from him, felt repulsed, anxious and a bit sick.

[lovelybitofsquirrell]

The ick exists.

I had an ex boyfriend, everything was absolutely perfect. Then one day he came round in spotty fluffy socks. The ick was instant and I never got over the sight of the hideous, albeit cosy looking socks.

[thenightsky]

@VladmirsPoutine

Getting the ick is terrible. I've just been reminiscing and my god it's terrible.

God yes. Me too.

[FrugalFanny]

YABU

It totally exists and I've experienced it.

Even the scent of my ex gave me the ick and it was nothing to do with personal hygiene or dodgy aftershave.

[Anordinarymum]

The ick exists because it does

[twilightermummy]

It absolutely does exist however, I’ve never had it with a long term partner. I genuinely have felt repulsed by someone before though after a few months. I understand exactly what people mean when they say it.

You seem to be asking whether it’s an overused term though, where people don’t fully comprehend it’s meaning? Most people are smarter than what you seem to give them credit for.

[ohthatbloodycat]

It exists. Truly it does.

[Guineapigbridge]

An ex of mine went out shopping and came home with artificial flowers. Not for me, but for our home. I got the ick.
I think the character Elaine on Seinfeld is constantly getting the ick (remember the body paint to a sports game guy? and the guy who fails to use exclamation points!?) So is Jen from the IT Crowd (remember Peter File and the guy who looked like a magician?). If it's a common theme in comedy then it's definitely 'a thing'

[hollyhocksarenotmessy]

@Theickdoesnotexist

So three children ask why did you divorce daddy and you say I had the ick.

Or is it too much to use actual words?

The ick exists. I've experienced it. Your skin wants to crawl off your body.

No, I wouldn't say it to children. I wouldn't express it to them in other ways either, as they don't need to know anything about your lack of sexual attraction for their other parent being the reason for splitting. Or any other detailed reasons, actually. It's emotionally abusive to drag children into the details to that degree.

[MadamMalkin]

I had an ex that gave me the ick every time he drank a lot (he was a messy but horny drunk). His eyes would get this vacant/glazed/"lights on but nobody home" look, and he'd try to paw at me, or to kiss me. My shoulders and teeth/jaw are tightening just thinking about it 😬

[BiBabbles]

It's emotionally abusive to drag children into the details to that degree.

I agree with this, especially if we're talking actual children. I thought it was generally recommended to be light on discussing the reasons with kids.

The ick is shorthand between adults discussing a mix of emotions that can arise in a relationship. Shorthand is meant to be short and we get the general jist of the feelings involved when someone says the ick which is the important part of what they're communicating.

Would you expect every emotion to spelled out entirely in what someone means by it? It can be argued love doesn't really exist, it's a shorthand for a mix of feelings that can hard to describe otherwise, but even if we feel it and define it differently, we get what someone means when they say they're in love just as we do when someone says they have the ick.

[DwightSchruteisfit]

Bloody loved Ally McBeal. The ick is reallll

[Strawbsaturno]

Yes the ick is real. I had it in a second date with someone who I wasn’t sure about, but he seemed a decent bloke. I remember the exact moment it started, and what he did to cause it. It was like a switch flipped and I went right off him there and then.

[Naunet]

@Theickdoesnotexist

You might have fallen out of love with someone you’ve been with ages.

Or gone off sex because you’re peri menopausal or have young DCs or are just tired.

Or gone off someone you’re dating

Or changed your mind

All these are fine

But the ICK - why is this being banded about like it’s an established Thing?

Well at least you’ve established that arrogance is a real thing.

[xxlostxx]

Experienced it more than once. Very much exists.

[xxlostxx]

Very much like a light switch moment as pps have said! Nothing to do with fading love, lazy shit spouse or a fading out type thing.

[LemonSwan]

The ick is a real thing. Happened to me when I was very young about my best friend at the time. It wasnt a sexual thing. I just noticed something one day and it repulsed me to the earth and back.

Its definitely real.