To wonder why we still can’t vist in hospital?!

[Jinnybean]

My dad was rushed to hospital on Friday with sepsis, heart failure and a chest infection. He’s extremely poorly yet we aren’t allowed to go and see him. My sister can as she’s told them she’s his carer and she is the only one who is allowed to ring about him as they have said only one person can call?!

I’m missing him like mad and haven’t see him in a while, I feel SO guilty that Iv not seen him. We were going to go over today as well before he fell ill. I can’t imagine not seeing him again if he were to die.

I can’t believe we still can’t go and see family members, we can go to a bloody concert!

I’m sorry to hear about your Dad OP. I hope he makes a swift recovery. I completely agree, I think it’s nuts that everything is back to normal but you still can’t visit your loved one when they are ill. I mean LFT and PPE if you must but a little bit of compassion would be nice!

Sorry op that's awful. Can you speak to the Matron ?

Extremely vunerable people don't go to concerts.

That's a false analogy.
Any hospital ward contains people who would certainly die if Covid was in the ward.
Hard though it is not to be able to visit a loved one, isn't it more important that they stand the best possible chance of surviving? Ans that means rigorous attempts to keep Covid out of hospitals.

A concert is a voluntary endeavour which (hopefully) well people attend. A hospital has vulnerable people in who have no choice in being there.
I'm sorry to hear about your dad and hope he gets better soon.

Most people at a concert aren’t gravely ill and wouldn’t be put in danger by catching covid.

Really hope your DF gets better soon and that you can visit as he gets stronger again.

Sorry to hear about your dad, hopefully he makes a swift recovery. I’m a nurse in a hospital in Ireland so I don’t know if the UK is different but If the worst were to happen and your father wasn’t going to make a recovery family are permitted to come and see the patient without restrictions as part of our End of Life Care.
Generally the one phone call/one contact rule is standard. Unfortunately nursing staff do not have the time to relay the same information to multiple members of the one family and prevents any confusion. It also comes down to patient confidentiality, only the next of kin should get information.

Presumably your sister is down as nok. It is not unusual for there to be a single point of contact or single named visitor, to avoid too many potential contacts. Hope he recovers soon,

They’ll have said one person to call for good reason - they’re short staffed, incredibly busy and having the same conversation repeatedly with multiple family members is not going to be the best use of their time, however awful that is for you. Presumably your sister can pass on any news, questions etc?

As for visitors- it’s a ward full of sick and vulnerable people who have no choice but to be there and cannot control their own exposure- they have to have tighter controls than an optional concert predominantly attended by younger and healthier folk. How would you feel if some else’s visitor gave your father covid and it killed him? Or someone’s visitors gave staff covid and knocked out half a ward’s staff? They don’t impose these restrictions lightly. It’s awful for you but it’s not unreasonable in the circumstances. I hope your father recovers quickly.

It is awful for families but please see the bigger picture. A ward full of vulnerable, gravely ill patients with a visitor each is on average 30 visiting people at risk of spreading the virus to all the patients. The patient in the next bed has a family with unvaccinated visitors, maybe school age or just started university in contact with 100's of unvaccinated contacts. Do you want all those visitors and all that risk in the bed space next to your father?

The point is you can go to a concert, then rock up at hospital and spread covid

Yes it’s difficult for families at the moment, but how would you feel if you went in as a carrier and spread it amongst everyone already ill?

How would you feel if someone visiting another patient spread it and your father got it on top of everything else?

Look at the bigger picture, however hard it is at the moment with your father he is in the best place and is being protected at the moment

I’m just in fear that he will go downhill or die when I haven’t seen him.

So many people think that vaccination makes them immune , it doesn't. It does prevent the worst symptoms for most people, but those sick, frail vulnerable patients even with the vaccine are at huge huge risk of life threatening complications. No matter what the media say or politicians say we are very much still in the midst of the pandemic and we are not going back to 'normal'.

Most wards will take phone calls or Face time calls on hospital ipads. Some hospitals have a 'keeping in touch' team available just so families can communicate. It is a very frightening time when someone you love is gravely ill and all you want to do is hold them close. Communication is the key with the designated visitor and the family.

We are in the same situation with mil. Fortunately although limited to one visitor for one hour each day, they have allowed both dh and sil in to see their mum.
She was taken in late last week with similar symptoms. It's scary as fuck not being able to care for her.

Hi OP. Are you in the UK and is he on an ICU ward? I'm only asking because my Dad is in hospital (heart attack) and we're allowed to visit him. Only one person at a time for a max of an hour, but better than nothing. Maybe it's different rules for different counties or hospitals. Could be something that is managed locally rather than a blanket rule.

It’s really hard not being able to visit but there is a sound reason why most hospitals are limiting one named visitor per patient. The less number of people in the hospital, the less chance of spreading Covid to the already sick and vulnerable. Despite best intentions, at our hospital, we have Covid outbreaks on a number of wards, and it’s quite feasible that an asymptomatic visitor has brought it in unknowingly.

With regards to telephone calls, there are 36 patients on a typical ward. So that’s a potential 36 people already calling up to find out about their loved ones. The phones on the ward are going constantly. If I happen to respond and it’s a relative, I’ll need to first check with the patient that they consent to me talking to the patient, then find the nurse who’s looking after that patient (plus many others), and get her to stop what he/she’s doing to talk to the relative. If they want to speak to the patients doctor, then they’re often not on the ward as they cover many different wards, and so need to be bleeped and passed a message on. The general understanding is that the NOK is given the information about the patient directly and they will then inform other family members.

If a patient is imminently palliative, then visiting rules are relaxed. At our hospital, we will then have open visiting for that patient, for all family members. We give carers passports so they don’t have to pay for parking and will set a bed up in the side room if family wishes to stay.

My dad has been in hospital recently so I do understand how difficult it is not to be able to visit and call but I also know it’s done in the patients best interest.

I hope your dad makes a good recovery 💐

My sister rang. They said his kidneys are failing snd he has loads of fluid round his heart but he has heart failure so they are worried about that. He’s having a brain scan. My sister is seeing him tomorrow for an hour. She’s going to try and ring me.

They have said it’s unlikely he will survive but they haven’t had the end of life chat yet. I’m not ready to lose my hero. I haven’t spoken to him in a week. He could have a heart attack snd I wouldn’t get to say bye. I can’t copeD

Ring the hospital OP and ask the matron if, given the circumstances, you can come in for a (brief) visit. The worst they could say is no.

Is he conscious at all? They may facilitate a phone call if so. If not can your sister facetime you when she visits.

@Zanzibaragain

It is awful for families but please see the bigger picture. A ward full of vulnerable, gravely ill patients with a visitor each is on average 30 visiting people at risk of spreading the virus to all the patients. The patient in the next bed has a family with unvaccinated visitors, maybe school age or just started university in contact with 100's of unvaccinated contacts. Do you want all those visitors and all that risk in the bed space next to your father?

This is correct.

We allow visitors for specific reasons and that usually is end of life. The traffic through hospitals is high without visitors. We are trying to keep numbers down to reduce the spread in a place that is full of vulnerable people. Hospitals cannot afford to be complacent or return ‘to normal’ like everywhere else. We still have covid, we still have people ignore us when we ask to stay in their areas because we don’t know if they have Covid. We have had people with no symptoms who have tested positive and we need to be careful. It’s crappy but I get why we need to. Ultimately it’s to keep our patients safe. I know to some that might sound shocking.

It's awful OP :-( Such a bad time to end up in hospital with something serious. I really hope you get the chance to see him xxx

I'm so sorry, OP. This is a time to lean on your most supportive friend(s) - don't try to face what's happening all by yourself.

Make sure you're ready in practical ways (clothes, petrol, cash) for going in at any time of day, as things might change suddenly.

I wish you weren't in this situation. You obviously love your dad very much. I'm truly sorry you can't be with him in person right now

Because all it takes is one person to visit and spread it. This is exactly what happened on the ward I worked on

This is very difficult 😞 when my mum was in hospital for similar reasons in June she was allowed 2 visitors daily.

It might be worth speaking with the ward manager to ask if you can have a visit.