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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let him go to the village park

51 replies

Cheesecakeandwine · 19/09/2021 18:24

We have an almost 10 year old ds in year 5. For context we live in a no through village so the only reason to enter it is for a village based reason. He has a super tracking watch that shows me where he is at all times. Let’s us video call each other, set alarms plus has an SOS button. His same age friends have all started going to the park in the centre of the village together. AIBU to let him go with them (never alone)? My husband is very against it.

OP posts:
Matilda1981 · 19/09/2021 18:26

Yes, I’d let him go, I do think you’re being slightly controlling with the tracker thing - kids need to learn to have some independence at some point!

MajorCarolDanvers · 19/09/2021 18:28

My kids have been going out to play including the park since they were 7.

Of course it depends on the child and the area.

But I'd urge you to persuade DH it's time to land his helicopter and let your child go.

MajorCarolDanvers · 19/09/2021 18:28

Oh and I don't track mine.

SummerHouse · 19/09/2021 18:33

These things are hard. But we have just had a DS start secondary and it's a whole world of independence that he hadn't really done anything to prepare for. Thankfully he took it all in his stride but it made me think we should have encouraged independence earlier.

Parenting is not just about protecting them from the world, it's about preparing them for the world.

SusieBob · 19/09/2021 18:35

He's 10 ffs. Let him go, without the stupid watch.

Mymapuddlington · 19/09/2021 18:37

Most kids in my town are playing out and about from about 8 (without trackers since they’re not dogs) lived at a village previously where they were out with younger siblings from around 4 up.
Obviously you know your village, you know the other kids are allowed out, so what’s the issue?

Karmagoat · 19/09/2021 18:39

He's 10 not 5. Let him go to the park with his mates.

MadeOfStarStuff · 19/09/2021 18:39

Let him go!

Kids don’t magically become independent at a certain age, they need to be gradually given age appropriate independence. And going to a park in what sounds like a very sage area is definitely age appropriate for a 9 year old!

ParkheadParadise · 19/09/2021 18:40

Let him go with his friends

Comedycook · 19/09/2021 18:40

Yes I think that's fine...and I think the tracker is a good idea, although you'll get loads of negative comments about invading your dcs privacy Hmm

HairyScaryMonster · 19/09/2021 18:41

The watch sounds great, definitely let him 👍

bluebeach · 19/09/2021 18:42

What’s the problem with the watch?? Most phones have a tracker option, I think it’s really useful. We have just started letting our dd go to the park to meet friends. She has a watch like this and it gives her the confidence to go.

stopgap · 19/09/2021 18:44

My son is 10 and I’ve started letting him walk solo to a couple of friends’ houses—one’s five minutes away and one is seven minutes. Both involve crossing a fairly busy road twice, but I felt fine after getting over the initial hump.

ChickenSchnitzel · 19/09/2021 18:46

We are in a large village, busy with tourists etc. My DC have been allowed out on their own since age 8, to the shop, park, friends houses, on their bikes etc. No watches or phones.

Why is your DH so against it?

trumpisagit · 19/09/2021 18:51

Has anyone watched the Back Mirror episode where the mother tracks her young, and later teenage daughter?

I think at 10 tracking him is OK, especially if it gives him more independence, but as a general rule I think tracking software is a bit creepy.

I understand why people do it, but I prefer to trust my children, and give them real independence.

NerrSnerr · 19/09/2021 19:00

Let him go. I'd set rules about where he can go and what time he comes back and only start using the tracker if he proves he can't be trusted.

Why are your husband's concerns? Is it stranger danger, your son wandering off, or roads? (Or something else?)

girlmom21 · 19/09/2021 19:01

Why did you bother buying him a tracking device if he's not going anywhere to be tracked?

Let him go. After he's proven to you he's reliable, scrap the watch and give him a cheap mobile to contact you.

ParkheadParadise · 19/09/2021 19:16

My dd (6) in December get to play out in our cul-de-sac.
She knows if she leaves it, she's IN with her arse spanked😜😜

m0therofdragons · 19/09/2021 19:23

My 10yo twins do this but I don’t track them - I’m quite uncomfortable with that for some reason. That said I have my phone linked to dd1’s and can track her but I never have. She’s 13.

m0therofdragons · 19/09/2021 19:26

Should add, we live in a town. It’s very safe compared to other areas but dc know what to do if they aren’t happy or are worried about anything while at the park.

Original poster
Cheesecakeandwine · 19/09/2021 19:43

I am not against him going at all hence why I asked who was being unreasonable. I was hopeful you would all think it was him and I could show him the responses……and now I can!!
The watch I think is great for the now and in all honesty is used more as a phone. He himself actually feels happy with us knowing where he is (I am ready for that to change in the near future).
My husband feels that our ds is ‘too nice’ and could be easily swayed by a stranger and it only takes seconds for someone to shove him in a van.

OP posts:
MinesAPintOfTea · 19/09/2021 19:50

How will he get to secondary school in 2 years? Think about how you want to get to that level of independence, starting from where you are now.

NumberTheory · 19/09/2021 19:51

I would have been happy for mine to go at that age. However, I think it’s unreasonable to just ride roughshod over an equal parent’s differing view. So I think YWBU to just let him go now without hashing it out with his dad, assuming his dad is hands on and not making pronouncements without really knowing his som and his capabilities that well.

justasmalltownmum · 19/09/2021 20:03

Could you link the watch please? It sounds great.

Original poster
Cheesecakeandwine · 19/09/2021 20:26

Of course, here it is kidsnav.com/

OP posts:
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