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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask our neighbour to tidy up his front yard?

31 replies

HelpNeedCoolUsername8 · 19/09/2021 16:26

DH and I have been trying to sell our house for some months. All the other houses on our street have sold within days this year, except ours. We are consistently getting feedback that one reason people decided not to buy is that the neighbour’s house looks derelict. One couple even said they would’ve put an offer in if it wasn’t for the neighbour.

The neighbour - it’s not a derelict house, the guy who lives there is nice enough. But he is a hoarder who never cleans, never redecorates etc. The window frames and front door are all badly peeling (have been for the last 10 years), the front yard is totally overgrown, the curtains you can see through the windows are hanging off etc.

A couple of weeks back I went round, explained the situation and asked him to clear it up. He agreed that he would. But all he has done is cut down one large, overgrown buddleia that was hanging half way across the pavement. The yard is still covered in weeds, the doors and windows still need painting, etc. It still looks derelict.

Not really sure what to do next. The council won’t do anything because it’s private property. Offer to clean it up for him?! I really don’t want to offend/upset him (any more than I already have) but it’s stopping us from moving on with our lives and potentially costing us thousands of pounds as we’ll have to bring the price down. Any advice welcome!

OP posts:
QueenoftheKarens · 19/09/2021 16:27

I would offer to help, maybe they struggle with doing gardening. Good luck.

19lottie82 · 19/09/2021 16:27

Offset to pay for someone to clean it up.

19lottie82 · 19/09/2021 16:27

offer

Comedycook · 19/09/2021 16:28

If it's not a health hazard, then to be honest, whilst it's a pain for you, I can't see how you can force him to do anything. If I was you, I'd probably just offer to do it myself.

WoozySnoozy · 19/09/2021 16:28

Offer to help

Knittedfairies · 19/09/2021 16:28

Was it like that when you moved in, or has it deteriorated over the years?

WorraLiberty · 19/09/2021 16:29

Yes, offer to do it for him as it's in your interest to get it done but it's not in his.

Floralnomad · 19/09/2021 16:31

I think you are going to have to see if he will let you do it , he has no incentive to do it himself so why should he .

DoubleEx · 19/09/2021 16:33

I don’t know what the answer is but I really feel for you. There’s a house like this on our street and I always feel so bad for the neighbours, who keep their place immaculate. It doesn’t seem fair that you should have to spend your money, time and labour sorting it out for him.

billy1966 · 19/09/2021 16:37

Roll up your sleeves and ask him can you do it.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 19/09/2021 16:40

You're not being unreasonable but, neither is he. Needing a paint job isn't something that should concern other people and actually, it's a seller's market at the moment. You could offer to do the work for him but obviously not charge him. I agree with PP who says to add the work costs to the price of the house.

You wouldn't lose out by pointing out to potential buyers that you happily reside on a 'live and let live' street, barring antisocial and/or illegal behaviour - and that your neighbour is reasonable and polite. Quiet and decent neighbours who don't intrude into your life are worth their weight in gold and I wouldn't judge one like yours seems to be.

Wish potential buyers well and good luck that they find their place on a street that meets their aesthetic approval. Hope that they have nice neighbours who won't judge them.

I hope you find a decent buyer and also that you get the house you want.

Goldbar · 19/09/2021 16:43

He's happy with it but you're not. So the onus is on you to sort it out. I'd offer to do it for him and be blunt about the reason. I'd even offer to reinstate the pigsty (to the best of my ability!) after your house is sold.

PissedOffNeighbour22 · 19/09/2021 16:47

I lost 10% off the selling price of my house because of my scratty neighbour and her awful garden. It wasn't as bad as your neighbour's sounds though, but our neighbour was a twat so not approachable.
My mum had a neighbour (terraced) like yours and didn't have any issue selling.

There's not much you can do really. You either have to wait for the right person who doesn't mind, or accept a lower offer. Unless you're willing to do the work for him or pay for it? (both of which may upset him depending on why it's in the state it's in).

Zeal · 19/09/2021 16:50

Is it a 'yard' or a garden?

BlackberryMuncher · 19/09/2021 16:50

If he's nice, as you say, then I'd ask if he minds if we pay someone to sort out the front yard, but you need to be very clear what he will let you get rid of & what he won't, one mans trash is another mans treasure!

Once that's done you can see how it looks, how it goes on the market before contemplating asking him how he's feel about you getting his door & windows painted.

It's all expense I know, but it might get your house sold & you moved!💁🏻‍♀️

He may have good intentions of doing it, but that won't actually get it done!!

If he says 'no' though, there's nothing you can do about it.

XenoBitch · 19/09/2021 16:51

YABU. He is fine with how his house is. Why should he use time and money for fix something that is going to benefit you?
Offer to help, but unless his mess is actually encroaching on your property then there is not much you can do about it.

My neighbour on one side is always bitching at the state of my house... back and front. She has never once offered to help with any of it.

Mamamamasaurus · 19/09/2021 16:55

Offer to do it / pay someone to do it. You can't force it though, it isn't your yard / garden.

Original poster
HelpNeedCoolUsername8 · 19/09/2021 17:00

Lovely reasonable responses/advice, thank you. We’re not willing to pay for the work, but willing to roll our sleeves up and do it for him. Well the gardening anyway, doubt our DIY skills are up to sorting the woodwork. It won’t be a simple paint job, the wood will be rotted etc. I’m really just reluctant to upset him I guess, but I’ve probs already done that. Bit worried he’ll say no, but only one way to find out.

@Knittedfairies it was like that when we moved in. We weren’t bothered as it was our first house so we were young, inexperienced buyers. We’ve obviously learnt our lesson now!

@QueenoftheKarens I don’t think he would struggle to do it himself. He cycles a lot, and we hear him sawing quite often (not sure what he’s sawing but defo some kind of DIY going on in there). Or at least I hope that’s what it is 🤣 I know some disabilities are invisible though, so who knows.

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe agree that we shouldn’t judge him. We never have and have been happy to have a quiet neighbour. Only time we’ve ever mentioned it to him before is when his weeds came over our back wall and were damaging our out buildings.

Ah well, wish me luck (DH chickened out last time so it’s defo up to me! He says I’m the democratic one and better at these things. Hmmm 🙄)…

OP posts:
Stompythedinosaur · 19/09/2021 17:01

I think you can offer to do it or pay for it to be done. It is you who wants it done. Your neighbour is allowed to live as they like.

Original poster
HelpNeedCoolUsername8 · 19/09/2021 17:05

@Zeal it’s a forecourt on a terraced house. The backyard is horrendous too but I think that’s less of an issue for us wanting to sell as it’s less visible.

OP posts:
Original poster
HelpNeedCoolUsername8 · 19/09/2021 17:12

@XenoBitch we’ve never bitched about it. Plenty of the neighbours have over the years, but we’ve never had a reason to mind before, except when the weeds were damaging our outhouses as mentioned above. Even then we didn’t bitch about it, we just asked him to sort it (and he did). I really only care because it’s costing us money/preventing a sale. We have a one year old, just so desperate too early on to a bigger and more suitable house for him! It’s been really disheartening watching all the other houses on the street sell like hot cakes! And we know what the reason is because we’ve had very explicit feedback from several prospective buyers.

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 19/09/2021 17:15

OP, I didn't mean to say that it was you judging him, just that your potential buyers shouldn't.

I don't know how well you know him but if it were me in your position, I'd try to present it as a problem that you have, that your house won't sell. That the feedback you've had is that his garden/paintwork is the cause and that you're really annoyed (with them, not him) because you don't judge him and they don't know him and how quiet/decent he is.

I would ask him if he can help out in any way or suggest how you could get the jobs done just to sell the house (restoring to pigsty if required as per PP's suggestion)?

The upshot may be though that he thinks you're so nice and kind that he doesn't want you to move at all and takes to pig-farming in the garden, back-firing spectacularly...

Do you know him at all? Would he be open to a bit of bribery?

SirChenjins · 19/09/2021 17:17

As others have said, it’s obviously not bothering him so I think the onus is on you to explain that the feedback you’re getting is that it’s stopping people putting an offer in and ask him if you can sort it for him or pay for a gardener to tidy it him. Make sure he knows that you would be eternally grateful etc etc if he would be willing to let you do this - even if you’re doing this through gritted teeth.

TakeYourFinalPosition · 19/09/2021 17:25

All you can do is offer to help him tidy it.

To be honest, if he’s a hoarder with a house that looks derelict, and is poorly maintained with a messy back garden, it might not matter that much how tidy the front is… you need to find a buyer who, like you, was willing to see past it. Did you adjust the price when you listed, so it was a bit cheaper than the others on the street, and might attract people happy to accept compromises?

It’s not going to be ideal, but it might be worth exploring how you find people who will accept this, rather than trying to hide it - he’s unlikely to fully revamp his house, fix his curtains etc so that you can sell.

Was your house cheaper when you bought it?

Bluetrews25 · 19/09/2021 17:28

That's a tough one. Hoarder types are not known for their willingness to tidy up or let others do it for them, are they?

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