To murder the next person that tells me to “rest”

[NannyOggsward]

I’ve got Covid, coping ok but drained of all energy.

All 3 kids have Covid, Range from ill to absolutely fine.

It’s nice people are checking in but “rest up” has got to be the most inane statement when I have 3 kids alone, I don’t have a fucking chance of resting, or all the suggestions of sleeping or relaxing in the bath. And as for “we’re here for you”, how? How can you possibly be here for me? You going to come and babysit while I cough on you and die?

Everyone means well and some people have been great dropping off takeaways. But just argh at the resting (and yes I’m probably U).

Na yanbu it's just the typical stupid shit people say when they don't have the sense to actually think about your situation.

Oh don't do that, takes far too much energy.

Hope you are all feeling better soon.

Tbh rest is the only thing that works are the kids that are fine old enough to help?

This drives me crackers as well. Inane bullshit like 'Im here for you' thoughtless bloody nonsense. Yes yes people 'mean well' etc but when you're ill or otherwise suffering it's hard to have patience with it. I'm sorry you're so unwell, it sounds utterly shit

Sure, you feel like shit and have 3 kids to look after but barring offers of help, what should people say?

If I say to someone let me know if you need anything or whatever if its I have the means to drop something off if needed like food, toys for the children or whatever- is that not what they're saying? You can rest more than you usually would with children- easy quick meals, lots of TV hah.

Sadly not, the only one that is well is the 6yo so she’s like a bouncing ball, middle one is at the well enough stage to be annoying and eldest is the most poorly.

In fairness to them they aren’t being bad bad, but it’s still constant need for entertainment (when not on iPads the guilt!), bickering/fighting, food, cleaning, comforting when they don’t feel well etc etc can sit for about a 10-15 minute stretch before my name gets called.

You’re right though, murder feels WAY too much like hard work

Are these actual real friends? It's just the phrase "we're here for you" sounds cringy and very FB.
If they are real people then ask them for something that will help you?
Could they take a load of washing for you?
Do shopping?

Bring round a cooked meal?
Promise to come and help you catch up on cleaning when you finish isolation?

When someone says they are here for you, tell them what you need - food shop, dinners, take a load of washing to do for you etc Obviously depends on your relationship with them but if I said I was here for someone,I'd be happy to do those things.
As for the rest up,it's just a saying and maybe they are trying to tell you not to do unnecessary things. Yes resting may be impossible with 3 kids but people aren't saying it to be rude. Just say "thanks,I'll try" or to a good friend "Please bring a lasagna and promise me the second it's safe,take the 3 kids for a sleepover so I can properly rest as I'm losing mind"

A proper family member and a friend have been good on the practical (driving to the kids favourite takeaway and offering to bring things).

Some I thought of as proper friends and still do are doing the “how you feeling? Get plenty of rest”. And as to what I’d rather they say? “Mate you’re fucked how are you coping? When you get out of the leper colony I’ll have the kids for a night” would work for me!

Good idea Mossy. Take them up on their vague offers by asking for specific practical help

Enough with guilt about letting the kids be on screens. This is the exact time when you should be letting them use them as much as possible. Don’t be a martyr.

'Mate you’re fucked how are you coping? When you get out of the leper colony I’ll have the kids for a night” would work for me!'

😂 Totally with you. This is so much more genuine and empathetic than 'here for you' crap

I am being unreasonable when they are trying to be nice but I reserve the right to be a grumpy arse right now ;)

My favourite was the “oh you’ve got some
Downtime off work? Could you do “x”
For me while you are off”

Oh I know what you mean - my toddler has just had covid. I had to take some time off work to look after him and some of my colleagues said they hoped I had a good dew days off! And family telling me to try and rest/sleep when he sleeps. Much easier said than done!

I'm being mean I know as everyone is well intentioned but I did find the comments a little gratng when in the thick of it! And that was just with 1 poorly little one.

Hope you're all better soon.

Yes say thank-you, ever so kind could you possibly do x or y if you're happy to help! I agree insincere offers of support are annoying. Don't feel guilty about time on the ipad either, anything to get through the days when poorly! Also duvet on the settee so you can lie down and poorly one who wants comforting can too? Pop some films on? That's what I usually do, works a treat haha.

I’m absolutely going to start asking for the things I need when they say it, that’s great advice!

well I've never said 'I'm here for you' but I'm probably guilty of the very similar 'let me know if I can do anything.'

But I do mean it and maybe your friends do too.

Stop moaning about polite small-talk and just respond asking them for whatever it is you want them to do to help.

Maybe all they could do is pick up the phone for a chat or drop off some shopping, but it's something. Just ask. Not everyone has been in the position or knows what to do for the best so they are leaving it open ended and up to you.

'Rest up' is a bit daft. Similar to 'take it easy' or 'get well soon' it doesn't really mean anything.

Yanbu. It's so irritating. If I tell my mum I'm tired she tells me to have a rest. I have 2 small children, when exactly will I be resting?
Or if I mention I've got housework or washing to do, "oh, just leave it, I'm sure it's fine". Who else is going to come and do it?!

Oh dear. My single parent friend had covid recently and I told her to rest as much as she could. In my defence, I also dropped off a bag of shopping with easy meals and some treats, and I dropped her dd (who tested negative) off at school every day. It didn't occur to me that telling her to rest might piss her off, but I can see why it might.

I hope you feel better soon.

@AlexaShutUp I think that's a different situation as you helped practically and if your friend only has one child who was at school then she would get some chance to rest.

Honestly if your youngest is 6 they are all old enough to be able to let you get some rest. They shouldn’t need constant input and should be fine to watch some tv while you lie on the couch for a bit 🤷🏻‍♀️

Easy food, cereal and takeaway if you can afford it, snappy shopper and morrisons on Amazon were life savers when we had it (it’s a horrible virus)

I genuinely hope you feel better soon and your oldest too

[quote shouldistop]@AlexaShutUp I think that's a different situation as you helped practically and if your friend only has one child who was at school then she would get some chance to rest. [/quote]
She has 3 kids but the others were near enough (and old enough) to walk.

It sure is annoying when people try and say something nice to you, the bastards.

Yes I must admit I really hate those 'helpful' quotes I always feel like people have the best intentions but it's just a thing people say. I don't bother anymore unless I offer something specific like would you like me to drop dinner around or do some shopping and drop on the doorstep.

I get make sure you sleep during the day. How is that even possible if I sleep nothing gets done.