To murder the next person that tells me to “rest”

[NannyOggsward]

I’ve got Covid, coping ok but drained of all energy.

All 3 kids have Covid, Range from ill to absolutely fine.

It’s nice people are checking in but “rest up” has got to be the most inane statement when I have 3 kids alone, I don’t have a fucking chance of resting, or all the suggestions of sleeping or relaxing in the bath. And as for “we’re here for you”, how? How can you possibly be here for me? You going to come and babysit while I cough on you and die?

Everyone means well and some people have been great dropping off takeaways. But just argh at the resting (and yes I’m probably U).

I'm so sorry, that sounds utterly crap for you!
A few things:
Firstly just keep repeating to yourself "it won't last forever" before you know it this will be a distant memory so hang on!

Absolutely no guilt over too much iPad, screen time, tv, crap food for the next few days..... only do the minimum and make life as easy as you can until the worst part passes.

When people who are close to you trot out meaningless phrases, tell them what you actually need.
When my ds was born very prematurely I got heartily sick of people saying "if there's anything I can do....." in the end I published a list on Facebook of things that people actually could do to help. Not my finest hour but it got me what I actually needed in a time of crisis.

You're here for me? "Brilliant, what I really need is for you to go to The Works and buy a few distractions that will keep 6 year old busy for a while."
Or
"Fab, by Friday we're allowed out, can you have the kids for a couple of hours whilst I sleep? It'll be something to look forward to"

It'll either shut them up or get help for you but win win either way.

Hope you all feel better soon.

I think with 3 children and yourself all ill , then maybe use the TV or I pads with no guilt ATM! Also even if not resting as in asleep ,then maybe just try and do the minimum and have a half hour here and there to yourself .At 6 little one can maybe do some drawing /colouring .Explain Mummy isnt well .Hope you feel better soon

I'd rather people said 'what a fucked situation, I really feel for you.' If there wasn't anything they could practically do.
But i think friends who do contact regularly even if it is with unhelpful advice, it's still nice to know you've entered their thoughts regularly and they've cared enough to check on you.

I totally get you, as a single parent you can never clock off, you are just expected to keep up, no matter what.
"Keep going" is my mantra, never mind have a rest !! 😀
I hope things get easier for you.

take a load of washing to do for you
totally agree with making practical suggestions to "we're here fo you" - be careful with this one. My block has a communal laundry - we were asked not to use it should we get covid. Guidance may have changed, that was March 2020.

Hope you feel better soon.

@AlexaShutUp totally different you sound like an amazing friend!

Yanbu. I really feel for you op. Hope you all feel better soon.

Isn't the point of being ill that infinite screen time is totally reasonable and legitimate?

I don't think any iPad/TV guilt is required.

Well if you did murder someone you might get a nice rest in prison. Free accommodation and meals provided; so one possible solution

DH has told me to rest (awaiting PCR results after 2 positive LFTs). I’ve been left alone for about 40 minutes before he shouts up about something else. I’ve explained that I slept almost all day yesterday (hence the decision to test last night), but he keep asking about things I planned to do.
When I have the energy, I’ll help you bury the body @NannyOggsward

Sadly (and I know its annoying) but clinically, if you have got virussy stuff generally, then the boring stuff like resting and upping liquid intake are the things that will speed up recovery...so yeah, do as little as possible might be better advice....easy snack food, unlimited screen time and as much vegging out as you can get.

What they're meaning is not "oh you must be having a nice peaceful time at home" but "don't feel any guilt about taking the easy way out and throwing the children in front of screens and giving them junk".
That's what I would mean. It's not a phrase I use, I tend to use more along the lines of "do remember to take time for yourself and not spend the entire time dashing round after them" phrases.

I do mean "can I help"? In the last 18 months I've offered that to several people isolating and done shopping, dropped meals/takeaways/things to do for the children/medications, lent toys, made phone calls etc for them.
What one person wants is not what another person wants. If someone said "I'll drop a meal round" I would hate that. I'm not good with eating when I'm ill, and there's very limited things that I would eat, and probably not anything someone would bring round as a meal. You've then got to shove it in the microwave/oven unless it arrives at exactly the right time, wash up the dish making sure it's very clean and tell the person how wonderful it was and return it. To me that's more hassle than shoving fish fingers in the oven once a day.
What I would appreciate is someone dropping off lots of bottles of coke (the proper stuff please actually I think my friends would know that) and having jokey conversations on WhatsApp that would cheer me up, or lending DVDs that would keep the children happy.

I remember thinking that whenever I was ill when I was married to dickhead, unhelpful exh, and I had the kids as toddlers etc

“Get some rest” how? I didn’t realise they were assuming (reasonably) that my the husband might be of some use.

A similar one is when it’s your birthday and people message saying “hope you’re being spoilt rotten”. If you’re not, or if there’s no one around to spoil you, it just makes you feel shit!

People with covid have been told to rest to potentially prevent long covid, so maybe they're just trying to protect you from that. Lots of people when ill try to distract themselves by being busy. It's not like they're saying 'Don't get well soon!'

Well, I'd agree with asking for specific help from shopping to washing.

In light of your comment about screen-guilt, I'd also suspect that if your friends know you, they know that you're not going to be cutting yourself any slack and this is their hamfisted way of telling you to chill out. I mean, if I'm sick and looking after the kids, I feel no guilt shoving them in front of screens, even if they're 100% well.

Use all the screens. Don't feel guilty. I bet in years to come they will say they remember the time when mum was sick so we ate loads of junk food,watched tons of telly and played the ps4 , it was brilliant. They will be fine.
Ive dropped dinners in individual freezable take away containers when friends have been sick before. They can freeze what they don't eat and it's easy to take out and reheat whenever someone is hungry with minimal washing up

You've every right to be grumpy! But most people mean well. As other posters have said, ask your friends for something you need. I've offered to go and get anything my friend needs as she and her 2 children have Covid at the moment. And I meant it. I told her I'd chuck it over the fence from my car😂

You need a delivery of ready meals and chocolate (if you can still taste) and forget about cleaning and tidying. The bare minimum to scrape by.

Really hope you feel better soon.

You have my permission to murder the next arse that comes along.

Might be more satisfying though to say "oh yes I could do with a rest. here's my bouncy youngest, bed time is 7 (or whatever) and the others will need monitoring. i'll just pop over to yours, crawl into your bed for a 3 day sleep. can you ensure that you deliver food and drink regularly please!"

And then walk out the front door.