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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel overwhelmed by a sudden windfall (starting from base zero)

48 replies

BeholdTheMustardPot · 18/09/2021 16:24

Name change - Mexican house thief cutted up my pears.

I have just inherited a life-changing sum of money and don't know what to do. Let's not focus on the first-world-problem, middle-class-guilt side of things.

A couple of years before Covid hit, my life collapsed. I got very ill while unemployed, and things (including housing) kind of fell apart. The enduring psychological and physical after effects mean I haven't had regular employment since, and so no new lease either. I find myself living with a (maternal) relative and helping out with child care. Although I have never been particularly good with money, over the years I had accumulated just enough savings to be ineligible for universal credit. Day to day life isn't great but it isn't terrible either. At least I'm alive - God bless the NHS.

My mother died some time ago, and my elderly father, living in another country, has decided to give me and his only other child (my brother) our inheritance early, in his words. I wasn't expecting anything ever (for various reasons, not relevant), but this has landed in my lap. I think I will soon be receiving just under £100 000. I do not expect to have any other inheritance or pay-out from anywhere else, ever.

What should I do? Where do I start? (Aside from grateful acknowledgement of my luck, and a big thank you to my father.) What professionals offer reasonable advice without trying to sign me up for commission-based schemes I don't need? Should I try to buy somewhere to live? It seems unlikely I could get a mortgage, as I'm unemployed. If I bought outright, could I then claim benefits till I'm properly back on my feet? But where is possible for £100 000? My thoughts turned to a little market town in a cheaper part of Europe, but I guess Brexit has closed that door. Or is there something more sensible (and obvious to sensible Mumsnetters) that I ought to do with the money, and my life, instead? I am 51, divorced, no children, no pension, no debts.

If I need to formulate this as an AIBU, then: AIBU to be overwhelmed and not know where to start? Thank you for any help or advice. I know I am in a very privileged position to be asking this question.

OP posts:
Yummypumpkin · 18/09/2021 16:29

Buy a house. You can get a job and will only need a small mortgage. Don't move to a completely new country where you don't know anyone. Try to stay near your relative. You can rebuild your life after a very stressful time. Having a regular job and your own home will help you rebuild.

PinkFootstool · 18/09/2021 16:34

Totally understandable that you're a bit overwhelmed right now.

I second that buying yourself a forever home should be the priority. It gives you stability, and you will indeed be able to claim most benefits as a homeowner, just not housing benefit.

Where in the UK are you now? There are LOTS of options up to £100k depending on where you want to live. Have a think about what you want from a home - a garden, a garage, is level access important for mobility etc.

Findwen · 18/09/2021 16:38

There are too many unknowns here, before you can decide that you should look at the larger picture that this is one part of.

Do you have a pension organised ? How well funded is it ? Is your housing situation likely to change anytime soon and do you like living there currently ?

What does your future earnings look like ?

Do you have now or likely in the future have any dependants ?

Does your illness limit your life span at all ? Will the effects of your illness last a really long time and will you likely require care ?

Don't think of the money as money.. it is an employee of yours, you need to give it a job e.g provide shelter, provide an income, provide care

Original poster
BeholdTheMustardPot · 18/09/2021 21:51

Thank you to all who replied, and for believing that I can rebuild my life. @YummyPumpkin you say get a mortgage and a job. Even when I get into employment again, don't you have to have two years under your belt before lenders will give money? My credit rating is not great, as you can imagine. @PinkFootstool thank you for the reassurance. I am staying in the Midlands now, but prior to the illness (& divorce & other disasters) my life was in London. @Findwen I like the way you describe the money as an employee I have to put to work. As I said, no pension, no children. My housing situation is likely to change when my relative no longer needs childcare (within a year) or just gets tired of having me around. My illness has ongoing after-effects but I am no more likely to need care than any other random person, as I understand it. My earning potential is limited, but I am looking for options to retrain for work I can do from home, at my own somewhat slower pace.

OP posts:
PinkFootstool · 18/09/2021 22:01

In that case, a home seems the most sound investment, keeping some in reserve for emergencies if you can (new boiler etc).

Have a look on Rightmove in the area you want to live and go from there!

Boiledbeetle · 18/09/2021 22:22

Its possible to buy a house and still have a decent chunk of cash left over to decorate and furnish and pay all the bills for a few years without needing a mortgage. Where I live in the North East of England you can buy a renovated two bedroom terraced house for £70k.

That leaves £30k to pay the fees involved in buying and get the house looking like you want it. It also gives you plenty of breathing space to find your feet in a new area and as the house would be completely paid for you would only need to find part time work in the beginning at least.

The cost of living is cheaper up North and a train will only take a couple of hours to get you into the middle of London if you wanted to. If you are happy to literally start again then the North is your oyster!

NeverDropYourMooncup · 18/09/2021 22:31

Well, if you're ineligible for UC, you already had sixteen grand in the bank somehow, so you're pretty much sorted for somewhere to live, particularly as you'll be in the position of having cash plus another year of savings by the time the childcare and free accommodation looks like it's coming to an end.

So I think the best thing would be to start looking at places you could buy in prettier areas - and are future proofed in that they have level access to the front door and any garden and there is adequate transport/facilities in case you become unable to drive (assuming you do already).

Speakuptomakeyourselfheard · 18/09/2021 22:32

Wales is also cheap OP, and very beautiful. I agree with others, your priority should be buying a home so that the roof over your head is safe. Really thrilled for you that you've got this wonderful early inheritance to get you back on your feet. Good luck for the future!

nyktipolos · 18/09/2021 22:32

Honestly, I would look at getting somewhere permanent to live.

I have a similar windfall after being in a similar situation, but lucky enough to now be able to work and have a well paying job. I am staying in the cheap house I bought, but working towards doing it up.

toomuchfaster · 18/09/2021 22:33

For a mortgage you need 3 months of payslips if PAYE. Two years is records if self-employed.

nzeire · 18/09/2021 22:38

I really hope that this money helps you in your life, sounds like you’ve had a really rough ride.
I’m not in uk, so no idea what areas to look in, but a little bolt hole somewhere sounds ideal, somewhere for you that you can make beautiful and be comfortable in
Good luck

bridgetreilly · 18/09/2021 22:48

There are certainly still places in the UK where that will buy you a house outright. You are then in a position to build your life how you want. Good luck!

HalzTangz · 18/09/2021 23:09

You could easily buy a flat outright in the Midlands for 100k

Nancydrawn · 18/09/2021 23:16

You could buy a lovely one-bedroom flat in a market town like Hexham or Ashbourne or Alnwick for under £75,000, which would give you low operating costs (cheap to heat, insure, and pay council tax on) while giving you proximity to entertainment and employment.

You could then start in quite part-time work at first, easing in, supplemented by your savings to the tune of £200 or £300/month.

I'd put at least £5k in a relatively liquid account that earns some degree of interest, as a cushion, and start a pension, even with just £10k in it.

You will feel a lot calmer and a lot more steady when you have your own place to live that's paid for and certain. It might not be the course I'd suggest for everybody, but based on the stressors you articulate in your post, I think it's the best first step for you.

Branleuse · 18/09/2021 23:20

Buy a flat. Cheaper than a house, or one of those park homes.

LawnFever · 18/09/2021 23:29

@Branleuse

Buy a flat. Cheaper than a house, or one of those park homes.
Possibly cheaper to buy a flat but be wary of maintenance fees, when I was looking to buy by the time I’d included those (which can also be upped at any time) I was much better off buying a terrace house instead.

Good luck OP I definitely think this money can be a fresh start for you. Definitely invest in a home for yourself.

Lucythewonderdog · 18/09/2021 23:39

You won’t be able to suddenly buy a place and continue to claim benefits. Thank your father for the fact you are no longer eligible to claim benefits for quite some time and will be able to support yourself.

Byheckythump · 18/09/2021 23:39

I would suggest taking a bit of time. Don't rush a decision. Put it safe into a couple of savings accounts earning interest. If you know you will have to move then you could start looking at options. A pension is important. Just take a breather. Don't lend it to anyone and don't fall for any sob stories! Enjoy.

ikeepseeingit · 18/09/2021 23:42

Look for somewhere at around 75k as a terrace or flat with very little work needing to be done. Are you looking to buy near where you live now or move up north to get perhaps a little more for your money? I think it's best you look for an area with good travel links, and that you feel safe in. Rightmove will be your best friend in starting your new life!

Kite22 · 18/09/2021 23:44

I do agree with most.
I would prioritise buying somewhere to live.
If you don't have to pay rent or mortgage each month, then you can be much fussier about what work you choose to do and how much work you do.
I would buy the maximum amount you can in Premium Bonds (£50K) when you get it and speak to a few banks "wealth advisors" and look on the Martin Lewis site to get a little return on it for a few months whilst you do your research and then buy somewhere.
I would try for a small 2 bed terrace or a maisonette rather than a flat as with a flat you will forever be paying service charges which can add up. It sounds like you can live anywhere, so take a few weekends out once you've narrowed down some ideas, to visit places that come up on your shortlist / affordable list.

LawnFever · 18/09/2021 23:45

Although I have never been particularly good with money, over the years I had accumulated just enough savings to be ineligible for universal credit

Should I try to buy somewhere to live? It seems unlikely I could get a mortgage, as I'm unemployed. If I bought outright, could I then claim benefits till I'm properly back on my feet?

If you currently have too much savings to claim benefits then this won’t change if you’re in the lucky position of being able to buy a property outright, you’d need a plan for how you’ll pay your bills & general living expenses.

What’s the likelihood of you being able to work in the future, even part time perhaps at first?

Pleasestopshoutingimrighthere · 18/09/2021 23:48

Have you considered any inheritance tax implications that may happen from having this money now? I don't think your dad can give that much to you without there being some tax implications (but I'm not a tax specialist) and if he were to die within 7 years this money would be counted within his estate.

VanGoghsDog · 18/09/2021 23:49

There is zero benefit to starting a pension in this situation.

If you need an income, which you do, you need to get a job for that, or invest the money. But you'd be lucky to get more than 4% income on any investment (whether inside a pension wrapper or not) which is only c2% above inflation. So best to try to at least secure your housing.

If you do manage to work and have a reasonable income, look then at the pension the employer offers.

YesIReallyDoLikeRootBeer · 19/09/2021 00:24

I was homeless when I received an inheritance (similar amount to what you are getting). I used it to buy a small 2 bedroom house. So I would agree with everyone saying buy a place to live. But I'm not with the "get a mortgage" people. Find something you can buy outright. Thats what I did and it was life changing.

CazY777 · 19/09/2021 09:17

We bought a house outright in the north-east with an inheritance. We used some of the money to live on but when it ran out we claimed benefits as my DH became too ill to work and I became his carer. So, it can be done. It's far better in the long run to have secure housing, it's definitely made a big difference to our quality of life. We previously lived in the south-east and knew no-one here when we moved but people are very friendly up here. You could easily buy a two bedroom house in this area.