To feel overwhelmed by a sudden windfall (starting from base zero)

[BeholdTheMustardPot]

Name change - Mexican house thief cutted up my pears.

I have just inherited a life-changing sum of money and don't know what to do. Let's not focus on the first-world-problem, middle-class-guilt side of things.

A couple of years before Covid hit, my life collapsed. I got very ill while unemployed, and things (including housing) kind of fell apart. The enduring psychological and physical after effects mean I haven't had regular employment since, and so no new lease either. I find myself living with a (maternal) relative and helping out with child care. Although I have never been particularly good with money, over the years I had accumulated just enough savings to be ineligible for universal credit. Day to day life isn't great but it isn't terrible either. At least I'm alive - God bless the NHS.

My mother died some time ago, and my elderly father, living in another country, has decided to give me and his only other child (my brother) our inheritance early, in his words. I wasn't expecting anything ever (for various reasons, not relevant), but this has landed in my lap. I think I will soon be receiving just under £100 000. I do not expect to have any other inheritance or pay-out from anywhere else, ever.

What should I do? Where do I start? (Aside from grateful acknowledgement of my luck, and a big thank you to my father.) What professionals offer reasonable advice without trying to sign me up for commission-based schemes I don't need? Should I try to buy somewhere to live? It seems unlikely I could get a mortgage, as I'm unemployed. If I bought outright, could I then claim benefits till I'm properly back on my feet? But where is possible for £100 000? My thoughts turned to a little market town in a cheaper part of Europe, but I guess Brexit has closed that door. Or is there something more sensible (and obvious to sensible Mumsnetters) that I ought to do with the money, and my life, instead? I am 51, divorced, no children, no pension, no debts.

If I need to formulate this as an AIBU, then: AIBU to be overwhelmed and not know where to start? Thank you for any help or advice. I know I am in a very privileged position to be asking this question.

Buy somewhere to live, I’m in the Midlands though house prices have shot up where I specifically live. If you go to rightmove there is a where can I live search and you put in your budget. I wouldn’t personally move overseas, too many unknowns.

If you buy a two bed house you also have the option of letting out a room sometimes. Either a FT lodger or a PT one mid week that needs it for work reasons or maybe language students in the summer.

Buy the best property you can outright. One bed flat if needs be. Leave yourself a pot of cash for emergencies too if you can . Work on sorting out the things in your life thst need sorting, health, work, credit reference . All of that will be much easier with a stable roof over your head . You may find happiness where you are or you may find you can move up the housing ladder if you want to . If you can be flexible on where you live it’s easier to take advantage of changing / increasing house prices .
Good luck, my advice would be not to leave the money in the bank at your age. It may not see you out until the end of your days .
From what you have said it doesn’t sound like you need detailed financial advice that you have to pay for , just some good common sense advice .

Buy a two bed house and rent out a room.

Not everyone will agree with this but imo £100,000 is nice to have but
it isn't really a life changing amount of money. It isn't enough to suddenly be able to afford your own property long term.
Houses are a money pit. Its not like you'll save a bundle on rent or other expenses like buildings insurance, as you are living with a relative.

Stay where you are for at least 6 months after you receive the money and work on improving your health and work prospects, if at all possible. Don't make any drastic changes to your lifestyle.

And try to learn to enjoy the feeling of having a windfall, and the little bit of security that comes with it. There's no reason to feel angst or guilt.

Does your df live in France?
If your df lives in France then €100000 is the most he can give to each dc without incurring tax in any 15 year period.
Therefore , in this case, it will be €100000 not pounds. Obviously this may not be the case.
Also if he lives in France then anything he leaves when he dies has by law to be shared with you. So you would get at least a quarter if there is just you and your db. However if its within 15 years it will be taxed as you will have already received your maximum non taxable inheritance.

If you've currently got savings in excess of the benifits level, does that mean you have closer to 120k?
I think I'd try and buy a well maintained 2 bed terrace near where you are currently for about 80k. Is that remotely possible given house prices near you currently? Have a look on rightmove. It would here, but patches of the Midlands are expensive.
Since you've got a year before you think the childcare and housing with a relative might end, you have time to go slowly.
I'd also start thinking about a PT job. Could you do something linked to childcare, given that's is what you've done so far? Either self emp,toyed as a (school aged) childminder, or with a before/after school club attached to a local primary?
Any way of going back to what you have done historically, but again on a causal basis?
Enjoy the security it gives you, and set yourself up for later in life - but not with a pension, imo.

Like others have advised. Buy a 2 bed house if you can find somewhere that the budget will stretch to.
As you have said that you have problems with working, rent out the second bedroom. Renting out the second bedroom will give you a bit of income towards bills etc

If you drive, you could get something like this for your money and you'll have some lovely coastline nearby (although admittedly, it's also not far from industrial areas too): www.primelocation.com/for-sale/details/58969052/?search_identifier=b2e860f365a84a92ef8d79f8638310f2

Could your dad buy the house and leave it to you in his will so you could continue to get social welfare? Not saying this to scam the system but if you are not well enough to work you will be sitting in your new home hungry without benefits.

Buy a small house outright. Not a flat with ongoing fees

OP, I'd use to to relaunch your life. have a careful think about what you'd like to do for the next 30 years. Clearly 100k can't keep you long term unless you move to an exceptionally poor country and live very basically. But it's a huge cushion.

For example you could buy outright in a cheap area (e.g. this four-bed maisonette in North east. You could rent out two bedrooms, keep one as a spare room for guests, one for you. The rental income would cover bills and you could maybe work very part time to have some income but enough down time to take care of your MH.

Or if you don't fancy having lodgers, something like this two bed in Newcastle upon Tyne (lovely city!) for about £30k, leaving you a save cushion of savings while you settle in and decide how you want to live long term.

Im with the 'buy a 2 bed house outright and rent out a room' crew. The tax allowance for this is OK. Although there's a conflict between an area that's cheap enough to buy for under £100k and a rental market, if there are eg students it should be ok.

Aim for a bit of garden so you can grow some stuff, not 'live off the land' style but life without a lot of income is much more pleasant if you have some fresh fruit/ veg / herbs as able. Potatoes, raspberries, lettuce and herbs are particularly easy to grow.

@junebirthdaygirl

Could your dad buy the house and leave it to you in his will so you could continue to get social welfare? Not saying this to scam the system but if you are not well enough to work you will be sitting in your new home hungry without benefits.

The OP isn’t getting benefits now, she has too much in savings…

That's wonderful news. I am so pleased for you.

As others have suggested, buy yourself somewhere to live.

This will make a very positive difference to your life which is just what you need.

If you currently have too much savings to claim benefits then this won’t change if you’re in the lucky position of being able to buy a property outright, you’d need a plan for how you’ll pay your bills & general living expenses.

Equity in a home isn't counted for benefits purposes. If shes spends all but £16,000 on buying a house, and doing it up, and maybe the first few months living expenses, then thereafter she would be eligible for Universal Credit.

As far as I know, not an expert.

I wouldn’t buy a flat. I’ve been looking and some of them are £200-300 a mth service charge!

If you bought a 2 bed you could rent out the 2nd bedroom?

There wouldn't be much room in a two bed house, if you let the spare bedroom the tenant would be sharing bath and kitchen. You'd be forever bumping into each other.

Not all flats have huge service charges, it depends where you live. However a service charge means you don't have to worry about some things, you can just live in your flat.

I am so grateful for all your messages and advice and positivity. It sounds like the consensus of sensible Mumsnetters is what my heart yearns for anyway, a home of my own. Your descriptions of "a little bolthole" and "somewhere you can make beautiful" struck a chord. Thank you to @nancydrawn and others who get the emotional implications of this, and @Thelnebriati for telling me not to feel angst - I need to remind myself of that. (@YesIReallyDoLikeRootBeer I am so glad your inheritance changed your life.) I can only imagine how good it will feel, how calming as you say, to be settled where I can rebuild my life.

Thank you so much to everyone posting names of cities I hadn't considered and even specific towns I hadn't heard of. @ikeepseeingit in an ideal world I would return to London, where my life was until it fell apart, but I accept that that is unrealistic. @LawnFever yes I do hope to work again, starting with part-time. I would like to retrain for something I can do from home at my own slow pace, but that's for another post.

@Pleasestopshoutingimrighthere I don't know about inheritance tax implications - does this depend on the country I live in (England) or where my father does (not UK, not France either @Auroreforet )? What sort of professional advice should I seek? Although for now I am content to rely on everyone's "common sense advice" . @junebirthdaygirl no it wouldn't be possible for my father to buy a house for me, and leave it in his will. Thank you to @toomuchfaster for telling me mortgages only need 3 months of payslips (though several of you advise against borrowing).

It seems like the Mumsnet view is to look north and to take things slowly. I don't intend to make any big decisions in the next month, or even by Christmas. I will consider the various merits of a self-contained flat, with a service charge but nothing else to worry about, versus a house. I can see that having a spare bedroom would give me more options. Thank you everyone for your kindness and belief that I can do this, that I can use this tremendous good luck to turn my life around. Any more views on what type of property I ought to consider, or ideas of places to look at, are most welcome.

I wouldn't be spending a penny just yet.
What if he needs it to pay for care? Deprivation of assets?? (7 years is irrelevant).
Seek advice.

I'm afraid I don't know the tax implications when family live in 2 countries, but I would recommend getting proper advise on this. I would really hate for you to get all set up and things be looking up just for a charge to land that de-rails everything again.

Stoke on Trent is the cheapest midlands area and 2 beds for less than £100,000.

Future proof with your needs, close to shops and transport and community.

If you want to work from home area is less important - u less you yearn for the beach or seaside, you have options!

What do you intend to retrain as? We may be able to help?

@cptartapp

I wouldn't be spending a penny just yet. What if he needs it to pay for care? Deprivation of assets?? (7 years is irrelevant). Seek advice.

The Dad is not in this country, and deprivation of assets is only a factor if the assets were given away once a need for care became evident. In this country, if he is fit, we’ll and living independently when the gift is given there is no issue.

What about Conisborough terraced house

Village, but close to train station, with direct train to East Coast mainline. (Disclaimer - only been there once to the castle, but looked nice)