Page 3 | Emma Raducanu's smile

EinAugenblickBitte · 2021-09-17T23:37:06+00:00

So given the discourse on here in recent months regarding women being told by men to "smile" or "cheer up", amongst other things, AIBU to suggest that this article hits the nail on the head?

Billlius · 18/09/2021 12:15

@Quarks69. “I can see you didn’t get to where you are today by being succinct.”

Nice but of negging there.

Cam77 · 18/09/2021 12:16

People in the public eye are always judged on appearance. Yes, women more than men. Although I expect a reasonably attractive British 18 year old Male Tennis champion would also receive a few comments regarding physical appearance across British media.

In truth, I’m not sure a couple of superficial headlines about her nice sunny smile - referenced in a couple of low reach publications (as referenced in the article - eg, The Scotsman, circulation 14,000) is more impactful for this status quo of fascination with women’s bodies than, say, the 100,000s of women who flaunt their bodies daily on Instagram.

JudgeJ · 18/09/2021 12:19

@ssd

And sometimes putting up with shit from your boss is just life. Ive had it with male and female bosses. You either ignore it or ask them to stop it. If you can. But pretending its all male bosses who do this is plain daft.

ssd, you're on a hiding to nothing on MN, surely you realise that only men do bad things in this world! I too have worked for both male and female bosses and I know which I preferred! Too many women in management roles are quick to remove the ladder once they're reached the top.

Cam77 · 18/09/2021 12:20

And let’s call a spade a spade here, I should say, “the 100,000s of women who flaunt their bodies for the enjoyment of men”.

Yes, there’s an unfair culture of judging women’s appearance - but it’s rather easier to pin the blame on one or two middle aged white male praising her “sunny smile” (the humanity!) in The Scotsman, as opposed to what we see independent women choosing to do daily on Instagram.

1forAll74 · 18/09/2021 12:52

I think this is a non issue really, and not up for debate. Smile for the camera, or you should smile more often, is a well used phrase. But it is a personal preference, what you feel like doing, so you should take no notice of what you are stupidly asked to do.

notacooldad · 18/09/2021 13:03

No-one is perfect. I'd be surprised if she wins the next slam she's in. She's still got lots to learn
Of course she has a lot to learn and I expect she is going to be aroundcforca ling time but talk about putting a downer on!!!

JulesRimetStillGleaming · 19/09/2021 09:58

@notacooldad

No-one is perfect. I'd be surprised if she wins the next slam she's in. She's still got lots to learn Of course she has a lot to learn and I expect she is going to be aroundcforca ling time but talk about putting a downer on!!!

Don't be daft. I was responding to the PP that said she was perfect. Which is plainly ridiculous.

Mischance · 19/09/2021 10:08

Our sick media circus will nit pick every tiny aspect of her life and her being now - how about leaving her to get on with her life and her tennis? But they won't.

The media need to be controlled more - but how to do this without creating a dictatorship?

The media are out of control - they seem to think they need to engineer "stories" - that this is what the public want. I used to work on a magazine and mentioned to the editor about a little boy being run over on a Traveller site - his response? - Ooh, is he dead? Sickening.

Leave Emma alone!

Washeduponthebeach · 19/09/2021 10:32

I watched her wearily answer the same question she’s been asked dozens of time already. ‘What’s the next move?’. She has said she needs time to recover and think things out, but no. They keep on at her. I feel really sorry for her. She needs a lot of protection and good advice. Hopefully her parents will provide that but they seem a bit clueless about the pressures she’s under.

lazylinguist · 19/09/2021 12:43

I haven't been told to smile for many years, but it's the most infuriating thing! How dare men try to arrange us to make their environment more happy-looking and pleasing to them?! It's about time they stopped regarding us as part of the decor.

MorrisZapp · 19/09/2021 12:51

Heaven help her if she consumes one drop of alcohol in public, says anything that wouldn't pass a woke panel, or has any form of relationship.

TyneTeas · 19/09/2021 13:04

This on being told to smile is one of my favourite things

JacquelineCarlyle · 19/09/2021 13:04

That's true @MorrisZapp I really hope they do leave her alone as the British media is vile at building people up only to love knocking them down!

She is fantastic and I wish her all the success & as much privacy as she wants / needs. She does seem to have good, well-grounded parents and strong family background, so I'm sure she'll be fine. Just hope there aren't too many sharks circling.

JacquelineCarlyle · 19/09/2021 13:11

That's brilliant @TyneTeas

lazylinguist · 19/09/2021 13:12

@TyneTeas

dottiedodah · 19/09/2021 13:46

Its just Bollocks isnt it? How many people male or female can smile/be happy all the time ? Men seem to think that we will "cheer up" if they want us to FFS! Being told to "cheer up love" when I had lost DM recently hurt like hell ,and unlike PP couldnt think of anything to say!

belinda789 · 19/09/2021 14:31

Regarding mansplaining:-
I arrived early at my archery club as a new member; an experienced archer but rather young looking for my age. Two men had just finished setting up the targets and we got talking. They very kindly started giving me advice on stance, how far back to pull the bowstring bracing the bow arm etc., I pulled an arrow from my quiver and shot it straight into the centre of the gold. “Like that?” I said in a sarcastic tone. Neither of them said anything. Probably felt a bit humble.

RedHelenB · 19/09/2021 14:34

@EinAugenblickBitte

Omg Poppy's his response to your reply that your grandma had just died was awful. Just thinking of his own gratification. The older I get the more I see the patriarchy in motion every single day. Once you've realised it you cannot unsee it. I used to get told routinely when I was younger to "cheer up, it might never happen" and I actually used to think they had a point and that I should always be smiling. It is utter sexism because the same men would never dream of saying to another man "smile mate, it might never happen". Makes me seethe tbh

I disagree, ive heard men say it to other men too. Having said that it seems to be an older to younger type of remark.

Rozziie · 19/09/2021 14:48

@belinda789

Regarding mansplaining:- I arrived early at my archery club as a new member; an experienced archer but rather young looking for my age. Two men had just finished setting up the targets and we got talking. They very kindly started giving me advice on stance, how far back to pull the bowstring bracing the bow arm etc., I pulled an arrow from my quiver and shot it straight into the centre of the gold. “Like that?” I said in a sarcastic tone. Neither of them said anything. Probably felt a bit humble.

It's the way they don't check what you know first that always gets me. Like they just assume you can't possibly know anything or be good at anything.

I met a friend of a friend the other day who was one of those sorts who goes on and on about themselves and hardly asks anything back. He started telling me about his recent trip to Italy, fine. I'm just listening politely. Tells me the cities he's been to, using the Italian names for the cities like 'Firenze' and 'Napoli' (absolute cringe), talking about the food he had, explaining dishes to me in detail (I knew all of this but just nodded politely) and then tells me he did an Italian course while he was there and learned loads of Italian. Starts telling me random Italian words for parts of the body, gets to his hands and says 'this is 'il mano'. I said, 'well it's la mano actually...it's a feminine noun'. He looks crushed, goes a bit red and asks how I know that. I said 'oh I lived in Italy for six years and did Italian at uni.' Cue smirks from our other friends.

All these kinds of situations could be avoided if they just ASKED first, rather than trying to impress women with all their knowledge and intelligence. A simple 'have you ever been to Italy?' would have stopped him making an absolute fool of himself in front of a whole table of people.

cactijones · 19/09/2021 14:55

When I get told to smile love I always say my dads just died fuck off. He hasn't he's sadly still alive but shuts them up

Samuraisammy · 19/09/2021 15:13

‘Cheer up’ is another one. Amount of times I’ve wanted to swing at someone and yep it’s ALWAYS a random older (white) man that says it. Sense of entitlement is beyond.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 19/09/2021 16:03

I don’t know, Andy Murray always has a delightful frown…

In all seriousness, I completely agree, OP

TyneTeas · 19/09/2021 16:20

Charlie Brooker on Andy Murray and not smiling from a few years ago

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2012/jul/08/andy-murray-not-miserable-just-normal

DoubleEx · 19/09/2021 16:22

@ssd

And sometimes putting up with shit from your boss is just life. Ive had it with male and female bosses. You either ignore it or ask them to stop it. If you can. But pretending its all male bosses who do this is plain daft.

Cheer up luv!

randomchap · 19/09/2021 16:23

@OneTC

I'm surprised such a high percentage (77.5%) of men have been asked to smile at some point, I thought it was only just asked of women.

As an apparently perpetually miserable looking bloke it happens all the time. From both sexes but more often other men

I am a miserable looking bloke too and get the "cheer up love" from older women quite regularly. Not so much from other men though.