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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel hurt at this?

52 replies

MiaMarshmallows · 16/09/2021 22:17

Out with my best friend and a few of her friends yesterday evening I have an ankle injury and it really started to hurt so I told my friend I needed to leave and got an uber booked. My friend was surprised and said she hoped I was OK. I said I was and kept up a positive act but was still a little hurt that she didn't text to make sure I got home 0K and heard nothing from her since. Makes me think she doesn't really care. Aibu?

OP posts:
Pottedpalm · 16/09/2021 22:31

Yes

RobertaFirmino · 16/09/2021 22:34

I sometimes need to leave early on account of chronic pain. I don't really expect anyone to text later on as it's quite a usual thing to me. It's just my condition flaring up and it will eventually go.

Perhaps your friend simply thought 'Oh, it's just her ankle again, she knows what she's doing'.

Cotswoldmama · 16/09/2021 22:34

You're not being unreasonable They're your feelings. I wouldn't feel that way personally. If you regularly text I would maybe think she might ask about it but I wouldn't expect a text specifically asking how my ankle was.

MiddleParking · 16/09/2021 22:36

She was out with her friends, why would she text to see if you got home ok? It wasn’t like you were ill.

ellenpartridge · 16/09/2021 22:38

Yabu a bit. I don't think it's a big deal. Surely if you've got an uber there is no reason to think you wouldn't have gone home.

Waspsarearseholes · 16/09/2021 22:38

Sounds like you wanted the attention, to be honest. YABU.

Howsyourfather · 16/09/2021 22:40

Yup, you’re being a bit sensitive I think OP. If you were having breathing difficulties, felt faint, had chest pain etc then it would be a bit different, but not for a painful ankle.

Hope it gets better soon though Flowers

ladygoingGaga · 16/09/2021 22:40

Being hurt is a little over the top OP.
I wouldn’t jump straight to feeling hurt just because my best friend didn’t text.
What about assuming she thinks you are okay?

Don’t be over dramatic

LateDecemberBackInLowB12 · 16/09/2021 22:43

I always tell people I'll text when I get home, or that I'll check on them later.

Fast forward 3 hours and I'm fast asleep in my bed after totally forgetting 🤣🤣

Its not personal op.

Hope you feel better soon.

Frazzledmummy123 · 16/09/2021 22:44

Did she see you get in the taxi? If yes, I am guessing she probably didn't text as she knew you were safe and a hurt ankle wouldn't seem a big thing to her as it isn't anything life threatening? Had you been feeling very unwell then she should have text you, but not as was a hurt ankle (which I know is horrible for you but not necessarily a worry for someone else IYSWIM).
If she didn't know you got your taxi ok, then perhaps she should have sent a text checking you got home ok, however I say that from a perspective from someone who always checks my friends get home safe.

avamiah · 16/09/2021 22:44

It’s a difficult one to be honest as it depends how friendly you are with her and how often you text and chat.
Maybe she thinks your ok as it didn’t seem serious to her.

I wouldn’t think too much into it and I hope your ankle is better.

KKTGW · 16/09/2021 22:46

I wouldn't expect her to text to see if I'd got home (although she's probably ask me to text her anyway).

I'd be a bit miffed if she didn't text the following day...is she likely to have gotten plastered and forgotten that you went home incapacitated?

Original poster
MiaMarshmallows · 16/09/2021 22:47

She didn't see me get in the uber.
She was concerned at the time but just feel a bit upset that she didn't follow up with a text to check I got back OK. I would for her. She always says I mean a lot to her and so I guess I expected a little more.

OP posts:
JessicaFletcherxx · 16/09/2021 22:54

Have you messaged her to make sure she got home ok? Surely it works both ways.

GroggyLegs · 16/09/2021 22:55

Bit intense OP.
She showed concern but you said you were fine.
The end.

Movingsoon21 · 16/09/2021 22:56

OP sorry but you sound very high maintenance! I probably wouldn’t think to send a text like that and I have lots of close female friends. She’s on a night out and enjoying herself and then probably drunk/tired when she got home. This is not something to take personally.

melj1213 · 16/09/2021 22:57

If she was still out with her mates then she probably just forgot - you didn't suddenly take ill or get too drunk to function, you just had a sore ankle, which isn't something I would be concerned about checking in for.

If a friend of mine was taken ill suddenly or unexpectedly then I would tell them to text me to say they got home safe and if they didn't text within the expected time frame then I'd text to check they were OK but if a perfectly capable person went home because of a known injury then I wouldn't think it necessary to check they were OK.

If I was in your friends position then I might think "I'll text OP in an hour and check she got home OK" and then get distracted with dinner/drinks/socialising with everyone else and next thing it's midnight and it's too late to message.

avamiah · 16/09/2021 23:00

@JessicaFletcherxx

Have you messaged her to make sure she got home ok? Surely it works both ways.
Yes good point I totally agree with you.
APeakyBlinder · 16/09/2021 23:06

Did you message her to thank her for inviting you out with her friends and apologise for leaving early? As others said, it works both ways

Extragherkinsplease · 16/09/2021 23:10

You left her telling her you were ‘ok and on a positive note’ - she probably thought you were
a) fine
Or
b) exaggerating slightly so you could go home,

Did you message her to check she got home ok and apologise for leaving early?

DotsandCo · 16/09/2021 23:13

Good lord OP!! Get a grip!

Smidge001 · 16/09/2021 23:27

If I was your friend OP, I'd be wondering why you hadn't texted to check how the rest of my night went and to apologise for leaving early.

hairybakers · 17/09/2021 08:28

In fact, I'd say I would've text her something like this

Hey I'm home now, sorry I had to leave early but my ankle was playing up again. Was great to see you, hope you guys enjoyed the rest of the night! X

WimpoleHat · 17/09/2021 08:30

Why would she think you hadn’t got home? I’m sure she’ll ask you how you are when she next sees or speaks to you.

DeathStare · 17/09/2021 08:36

YABVVVVVU and high maintenance

The only people I'd text to see if they hot home OK if they went home in a taxi with a sore ankle would be my teenage DC. You're not a child, and she's not your mum. It was a sore ankle, not your leg hanging off.

If you were worried about getting home you should have told her this and made an arrangement where you would text her when safely home.