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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel hurt at this?

52 replies

MiaMarshmallows · 16/09/2021 22:17

Out with my best friend and a few of her friends yesterday evening I have an ankle injury and it really started to hurt so I told my friend I needed to leave and got an uber booked. My friend was surprised and said she hoped I was OK. I said I was and kept up a positive act but was still a little hurt that she didn't text to make sure I got home 0K and heard nothing from her since. Makes me think she doesn't really care. Aibu?

OP posts:
rainbowstardrops · 17/09/2021 08:37

I think yabu. Sorry.

DeathStare · 17/09/2021 08:37

@JessicaFletcherxx

Have you messaged her to make sure she got home ok? Surely it works both ways.
This.
Thethreecs · 17/09/2021 08:38

I think for me if someone is actually ill I would check on them, or if someone suffered an injury while out with me I'd also check, but if someone who already had an injury and said they were fine and seemed fine, I probably wouldn't. If I left somewhere early myself, I'd have to apologise.

girlmom21 · 17/09/2021 08:45

Are we supposed to check that grown adults are capable on getting home in a fully tracked taxi now? Jesus...

user1473878824 · 17/09/2021 08:48

Oh my god.

ThinWomansBrain · 17/09/2021 08:54

If i'm not feeling well, I'd usually go to bed and try to sleep - I'd be a bit pissed off if i'd got to sleep and been woken by a text.

RazorSharp · 17/09/2021 12:32

You're an adult in an Uber so I would presume you're safe and able to get home!

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 17/09/2021 12:36

@JessicaFletcherxx

Have you messaged her to make sure she got home ok? Surely it works both ways.
This
Frazzledmummy123 · 17/09/2021 13:03

As she didn't see you get in the taxi, if I was her I would have probably sent a text asking if you got your taxi ok as taxis in my area are impossible to get at the moment. and the streets can be dangerous. However, I wouldn't be overly bothered or hurt at it as she would have probably assumed you would come back inside if taxi didn't turn up, and you did say you were ok when she asked.

If you had been feeling ill or had been injured while out with her and went home, then you would be totally justified to feel hurt at her not checking on you. She just assumed you were safe so there was no need.

ChurchWCat · 17/09/2021 13:13

Did you check she got home ok?

Loyaultemelie · 17/09/2021 13:25

This is one of the times where MN is a parallel universe to real life. Of course I would expect a best friend to check you were ok if you left early. It's not attention seeking to think a quick text to see you were home and not in too much pain, you aren't expecting her to drop everything and roll out the red carpet it's only a text showing she cared! How is your ankle op?

RazorSharp · 17/09/2021 13:51

@Loyaultemelie

This is one of the times where MN is a parallel universe to real life. Of course I would expect a best friend to check you were ok if you left early. It's not attention seeking to think a quick text to see you were home and not in too much pain, you aren't expecting her to drop everything and roll out the red carpet it's only a text showing she cared! How is your ankle op?
But surely if OPs issue was a painful ankle, she could've dropped a text to her friend who she says was worried?

Hi, nice evening, sorry I had to leave, home now.

I wouldn't be waiting for someone to ask me, then be hurt if they didn't.

Bluntness100 · 17/09/2021 13:55

I’m sorry op she’s not her parent and you’re not her young child, you just had a sore ankle, your expectations are a bit high.

MancMum2000 · 17/09/2021 14:10

Are you always this needy? You got a taxi from door to door, from an uber driver who is required to have a private hire license in their name in order to drive you. Surely it’s extraordinarily unlikely that you would not have made it home.

Lweji · 17/09/2021 14:15

Why would she be concerned that you were not OK?

Howshouldibehave · 17/09/2021 14:16

If I were you, I would have sent a text saying you’d got home ok. End of story.

CanofCant · 17/09/2021 14:44

Were you maybe feeling a bit out of sorts and possibly jealous due to her staying out for the night with her friends and the lack of her texting you has amplified it?

I don't think she did anything wrong.

sammylady37 · 17/09/2021 14:47

It was a sore ankle. Nothing life-threatening. You’re an adult and presumably generally capable.

‘Upset’ and ‘hurt’ about this is way over the top.

HunkyPunk · 17/09/2021 14:58

I probably would text later/the next day if a friend had to leave early because they were in pain. However, your friend, who evidently wouldn’t, would probably think that was quite needy. Unless she composed a text but got distracted and didn’t remember she hadn’t pressed ‘send’, which has happened to me on several occasions!

ManifestDestinee · 17/09/2021 15:03

That's pretty needy. You're a grown woman and whatever injury you had you were still able to go out, so you weren't in any sense incapacitated. Why on earth would you expect anyone (other than perhaps your mother) to be checking to see you got home ok, when you went straight there in a taxi?

Bluntness100 · 17/09/2021 15:53

Were you maybe hoping she’d be gutted you left and worrying about you, and thinking of you? So finding out she behaved normally and got on with her evening as upset you?

The truth is most adults would not check another adult got home safely in a taxi simply becayse their ankle hurt. The only people who would do this is really parents with kids. Even with partners you’d be expected to just text and say back safely enjoy the evening.

ChargingBuck · 17/09/2021 15:55

a little hurt that she didn't text to make sure I got home 0K

Aaaw come on OP, you are a grown woman, you don't need another adult to supervise your comings & goings.

I am sorry about your poor ankle though, & hope you are soon feeling some improvement.

Therealjudgejudy · 17/09/2021 15:59

You sound very needy

Tal45 · 17/09/2021 16:02

You said you were fine, you're not 5 years old so she probably didn't feel like she needed to check on you. Maybe you should message her and apologise for having to leave so suddenly instead of thinking she owes you a message?

flyingant · 17/09/2021 16:22

Why would you not get back home ok?
I don't think it would cross my mind that a friend wouldn't be able to get home ok with a hurt ankle if they're getting a taxi.