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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband being stubborn?

42 replies

loverloversweet · 16/09/2021 20:34

Hi, happy to be told I'm being unreasonable here! Husband was in the garage working on his hobby/project. Four year old really wanted her trampoline down from the garage roof bit but I'm too short to reach it - a two minute job for him. He was getting annoyed that we were all in the garage (two children inc the four year old, and me) so I said just get it down and we can go! He just kept refusing, saying we needed to be patient and learn patience etc and it really upset me as it was like he was deliberately being stubborn and making us wait because he could.
I know he was doing something but he works on it at night time and during the day when he has time. All she wanted was the trampoline down so she could play on it and instead we ended up almost begging him to get it down because he was 'busy'
I know it's such a stupid thing but when I brought it up with him that it upset me he said I was in the wrong so I wanted to check

OP posts:
AmandaHoldensLips · 16/09/2021 20:35

He's a dick.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 16/09/2021 20:36

Next time he wants something then make him wait and learn patient’s #knob

Monpetitpoisson · 16/09/2021 20:37

Yep , dick

Maray1967 · 16/09/2021 20:39

If my DH told me I needed to learn patience I’d brain him. But I’d be ok waiting obviously if he was right in the middle of using electric tools. I wouldn’t expect him to stop half way through a cutting manoeuvre to get it down for me but only once he’d finished that bit. I would have gone and got my little step ladder if he’d refused and got it down myself.

flowerlass · 16/09/2021 20:40

It really depends what the project is and at what stage he was at. Nobody can offer you a balanced answer until we have this missing bit of information.

Original poster
loverloversweet · 16/09/2021 20:41

He's building a workbench and at that point was using a measuring thing on it. Not an electric tool but a metal ruler maybe?

OP posts:
Aqua55 · 16/09/2021 20:47

Measuring is one of the more important bits, so on that basis, yabu for not waiting

flowerlass · 16/09/2021 20:49

So what he was doing was still involving concentration by the description you have given and potentially he will have needed to remember or use the measurement in some way.

In this case I would have accepted a couple of minutes waiting as reasonable until he completed that little line of thought, as long as he was polite about it.

Men are not very good at multi tasking lets face it.

flowerlass · 16/09/2021 20:51

As an aside it does astonish me the number of people on mumsnet that immediately call somebody a dick or some such insult without having all the information. I really feel sorry for their partners. If they are lucky enough to have one.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 16/09/2021 20:51

That’s absolutely horrible.

What a power trip, deliberately taunting his wife and children.

Original poster
loverloversweet · 16/09/2021 20:52

He wasn't measuring as such, think I've described it wrong. He was trying to make sure the lines were level or in line with each other so was using a metal thing to check the corners. Nothing to remember really, just checking

OP posts:
Tossblanket · 16/09/2021 20:53

He's a dick.

It's not hard to either remember a measurement or redo it after doing what you wanted.

gobbynorthernbird · 16/09/2021 20:54

I wouldn't have stopped what I was doing to get a kid's toy out/down.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 16/09/2021 20:55

Reach up, grab, hand it to you. That’s a few seconds- no longer than pausing to tell you to wait

Tossblanket · 16/09/2021 20:55

Still a dick then if all he's doing is using a square to make sure corners are correct.

Original poster
loverloversweet · 16/09/2021 20:57

A set square!! That's what it's called!

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 16/09/2021 20:57

What an arse. Patronising, unhelpful, trying to lord it over you and a 4 year old FFS.

flowerlass · 16/09/2021 21:19

@Tossblanket

Strong username to attitude correlation.

Chloemol · 16/09/2021 21:19

I would have just left the kids in there with him and gone indoors

RobertaFirmino · 16/09/2021 22:50

I wouldn't interrupt someone who was mitering - it's a pain in the arse - unless it was really important.
Having said that, if it was me doing the mitering, I'd say 'I just need to finish this joint then I'll be with you'.

RobertaFirmino · 16/09/2021 22:51

Furniture joint, not weed or meat!

Tossblanket · 17/09/2021 06:20

@flowerlass

Thank you 👍🏻

HugeAckmansWife · 17/09/2021 07:05

Did he ask you to hang on a sec / minute or just say 'I'm busy' with no idea of when or if he would help? If the former, you were being impatient and could have said 'OK we'll wait out in the garden, see DC, daddy will bring it out in a minute' if he was just huffing and couldn't be arsed he's being a twat. I'm a single parent. I'm constantly interrupted no matter how tricky the task I'm doing and beyond 'just a sec' I have to stop. He wasn't doing brain surgery.

Shoxfordian · 17/09/2021 07:08

He sounds like a knob

Macncheeseballs · 17/09/2021 07:08

I'da got a ladder and got it myself, tosser