Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asking dc about school day

75 replies

dilmor · 16/09/2021 16:32

Most of us as parents ask about our dcs school day, right?
I don't do drop offs or pick ups coz of my working hours, I'm lucky if I even get to attend a virtual meeting with teaching with my hours.

My dc doesn't particularly like to tell me about their day no matter how I phrase it. So I've learnt to now say "who did you play with today?" Followed by "what did you play?" "who did you sit with at lunch?" "What made you happy?" Or "Did you do anything that would make mummy and daddy proud?" Etc.

Is there anything wrong with that? Because I don't think so....

Dp says it's weird to ask about friends who I don't know and I'm being a slag by wanting to know their names.
For context my dc are under 7....

I'm only asking for friends names to get my dc to talk about school day!

Who is BU?

OP posts:
Antinerak · 16/09/2021 17:28

'slag'?? You're supporting your child's recollection of memory and encouraging them to share their feelings, how does that make you a slag??

LTB ASAP

diamondpony80 · 16/09/2021 17:28

I always ask DD6 who she played with. I want to know that she’s making friends and not on her own. Kids can be very fickle and fall in and out of friendships very easily at that age. It’s important to know who your kids friends are at that age I think. Very strange that your DP doesn’t seem to agree, and completely unacceptable what he called you.

TempName01 · 16/09/2021 17:31

He doesn’t want you befriending your DCs’ school mates’ parents in case you sleep with them, so it’s better if you don’t know who they are. Your DP is a prick, sorry.

GameSetMatch · 16/09/2021 17:53

I don’t understand the slag comment? Why would asking about your child’s day make you a slag? Your DH sounds extremely strange, it’s fine to ask who your child played with, I always ask both my kids.

WeAllHaveWings · 17/09/2021 08:11

He's openly said he thinks when dc are much older and bring friends round I'm just going to 'Get in the way' whatever that means

You sound like a lovely engaged parent. You are doing nothing wrong and he is being very critical and making you question yourself. It must make you feel like shit.

FrankButchersDickieBow · 17/09/2021 08:16

You're partner is a bloody weirdo!!

Your questions are normal! But it's also normal for kids to say they've done nothing

WillYouDoTheFandango · 17/09/2021 08:30

Ugh that’s horrible from him. You’re interested in their life outside of you which is natural and you’re setting your kids up to be able to hold a conversation.

My DS is 8, tells me fuck all about school but will answer questions such as “What was your favourite thing you did today?” “Who did you play with at lunchtime” “Did you like the new food option he tried today?”

He’s now started asking me questions back “How do you feel today? Do you feel good?” and “What’s your favourite thing in the world to do with me?”

Grin it’s super cute

rainbowstardrops · 17/09/2021 09:22

Why on earth would he call you a slag for asking your DC about their school day?
Does he understand what the 'meaning' of the word is?

With regards to asking your DC questions, it's perfectly normal for them not to open up. I used to ask questions that needed an answer, eg what was the best thing that happened today? (At secondary school the answer would usually be coming home 🙄)
Or what was the worst thing that happened today? What made you happy? Etc etc

Your partner is a dick though and I think you should have a think about what qualities he's bringing to your life.

Strawbsaturno · 17/09/2021 09:26

You are going to have to explain this one to me…. How on earth can asking kids about their school day equate to you being a slag?
Does your partner understand what the term ‘slag’ means?
If so it’s all very disturbing, and he sounds awful.

LifesNotDoneYet · 17/09/2021 09:28

You are normal. Your DP is utterly weird.

Cam2020 · 17/09/2021 11:37

What's up with your 'D' P?

Children often struggle with broad questions and need more specific ones, such as those you're asking your son. Your 'D'P sounds disinterested in your child, which is really sad. I don't understand how expressing an interet makes you a slag! He sounds like an absolute arsehole.

Jadetreesbringluck · 17/09/2021 14:31

I ask for 'one good thing' and 'anything that wasn't so good'. I find that works best and I normally get plenty of info back.

Your DH is a dick.

Marni83 · 17/09/2021 14:58

Read your history op

Your dh has a bad drink problem
He doesn’t support
You write OP I feel you! I'm in the same boat. Dp generally spends all day every day in the bedroom away from me... little convo, only intimate when he's drunk - it's a shambles!
He has no interest in his children

Multiple threads and posts about your appalling dh

Your focus is wrong. Your children are growing up in a very unhappy household

CanofCant · 17/09/2021 15:05

Ugh, I agree with Marni. Your boyfriend is awful and too stupid to even use disgusting insults in the right context.

Your questions to your DC are fine, sensible even.

I would work on cutting him loose though.

Plumtree391 · 17/09/2021 15:34

I'd object to being called a 'slag'.

Children are vague about what they did at school. When asked they will say, "It was all right", or, "I don't know", that sort of thing.

You can tell if they are happy and they will often tell you things off their own bat, if they are excited about them.

I just used to ask, "Had a good day?", and leave it there.

Strugglingtodomybest · 17/09/2021 15:39

He called you a slag? Does he know what it means??

You sound like a good mum, your partner sounds strange.

Cattitudes · 17/09/2021 15:44

@Dogsandbabies

DP weird and rude comment aside.

I asked and got no answers. So I started telling my kids about my day. Going into detail about really boring stuff. That spurred them on to want to change the conversation and volunteer details of their day. Worked a dream on my then 5 year old and still works now at 9.

I used to do this too 'oh I bet my day was more exciting than yours. I found Flash on a two for one today.'
Boombadoom · 17/09/2021 16:05

Wtaf have I just read.

duckme · 17/09/2021 16:43

Good lord! I think your partner has issues! I vividly remember the deputy head teacher telling us to ask our children exactly those sorts of questions when they first started school. She said if you ask 'what did you do today?' They'll always say 'nothing'. At least asking your questions, there's a chance you may get to hear something about their day. I always ask who they played with and who they ate lunch with. I dont do any school runs either, so this is the only what I get to 'know' their friends.

Polkadots2021 · 17/09/2021 16:57

@dilmor

Thanks for quick responses all! I'm afraid it is not a typo, he called me a slag. And yes where I am from it also means to sleep around. Bizarre as we have been together 8 yrs, father of dc too. Never cheated in any kind of way.
You clearly need to leave him, as calling you a slag when he hears about you engaging in normal, basic parenting of your child is completely disturbing.
Rinoachicken · 17/09/2021 17:34

I ask my kids ‘what was the worst thing about school today and what was the best thing’. Tells me everything I need to know and can lead on to further conversation if desired by the child.

But all of that is by the by…your ‘D’H calls you a slag??!!!! That’s vile.

eeyore228 · 17/09/2021 17:54

I use ‘what was the thing you enjoyed most’ and ‘what did you like least’about your day.

I also agree with PP you DP is vile and I don't understand why you are with him.

Mamamamasaurus · 17/09/2021 18:00

You have bigger problems that 'interrogating' your children. Your 'D' P is a prick of epic proportions.

CyclingIsNotOuting · 17/09/2021 18:10

@LittleBearPad

Your partner is weird.

Your questions are completely normal

This.

Why do you tolerate this name calling?

Meatshake · 17/09/2021 18:44

That escalated quickly

New posts on this thread. Refresh page