Giving up cooked dinners for DC.

[TheFairPrincess]

I have 3 young DC, eldest is 6. Previously they had packed lunches for school/preschool as DD was nervous of school dinners.

She had one as a quick fix this week due to a forgotten lunch box and enjoyed the experience, so now she'll be having hot school dinners.

Dinners at home are a bit of a nightmare at the moment. Fussy eating/genuinely different tastes means it's hard to cook balanced meals that everyone will eat. It's got to a point where I'm cooking multiple different meals. I'm wasting time, money and sanity on this. There are a couple of universally loved cooked dinners which I will do on the weekend.

I was thinking of getting the packed lunch bits I would normally get for school lunches and serving "packed lunches" for the kids dinner. Is this awful, or normal? The meals will be balanced nutritionally, but not hot.

Does anyone else do this? And if so, do you have any tips for branching out and still adding in challenging tastes eventually?

It's fine if they eat the food at school.

The problem with "packed food bits" is that it is easy to end up serving almost exactly the same every day. Also, they might be being served a wide range of foods at school but you don't know whether they are eating them. At least you have an idea of what they didn't eat if it comes back untouched in their lunch box.

As a parent of a DC with ARFID/ASD, I would advise serving different things every day (cold is fine, simple is fine, just not always a sandwich) for 2 reasons. Firstly, to make sure they are getting a nutritionally balanced diet, secondly, you can make things worse for fussy eaters if you are encouraging them to restrict their diet further to only foods they really like and start a habit of eating (almost) the same thing every day.

Obviously you shouldn't be serving things that they won't eat but serving things that they tolerate rather than love, and new things to try alongside old favourites is the best way to encourage healthy eating habits.

Can you come up with a 2 week meal plan of simple and quick dinners that they will all eat with only minor modifications eg serving several types of veg so all of them will eat at least 1?

@TheWoleb

What's the thing about hot dinners?

I dont understand that. My kids get school lunches because it's easier for me. For dinner, I make whatever I want. Sometimes it's a hot, big roast with all the sides. Sometimes its salad with nuts and cheeses. The temperature has absolutely nothing to do with it.

Look, as long as the meals are filling and well balanced then why are you going on about the temperature?

Nobody is going on about the temperature. But OP is talking about "packed lunches"....sandwiches for dinner everyday is not great, and its nothing to do with the temperature. Isn;t that obvious?

We have a cooked meal at lunch & mostly just have cobs in the evening.

What's the problem with that?

@ManifestDestinee sorry what I mean by packed lunches is that since DD is now having a hot meal instead of packed lunch at school, I want to do cold meals in the evening.

I'm not talking about a slice of white bread and marge and a kit kat.

Can you come up with a 2 week meal plan of simple and quick dinners that they will all eat with only minor modifications eg serving several types of veg so all of them will eat at least 1?

Yes that's the plan So I for my meal plan/shopping list I now have just things to get instead of stuff to make meals.

E.g:
Monday - Wholegrain wrap with ham, cucumber slices, grated carrot, baby bell, yoghurt and honey, banana, blueberries, glass of milk
Tuesday - Wholegrain roll with honey, roast chicken breast pieces, pepper sticks, peach yoghurt, strawberries, apple slices, glass of milk

etc...

Just so much easier to prepare. Ingredients similar to a meal I would cook. greater variety

I do this now. My dc are teens so they have a hot school meal and at home there's food to just eat- pittas, falafal and humous, cheese and crackers, sandwiches ect. There's also soup in the freezer.

I was cooking hot meals on top of their hot school dinners for years.. I'm really not sure why I did it but now I'm free of it!!

I feed our guys like this all the time- it works really well for us. Over time, I’ve got more relaxed about the carb element too- could try croissants, hot cross buns, rice cakes, breadsticks, portion of dry cereal, crumpets if any of those work?
Protein wise, we do ham, cocktail sausages, boiled eggs, pepperami, cheese, nuts
We use divided plates with 4 sections and a pot type bit in the middle- I often put either the pudding or humous for dipping in that section.
But yes- always do a protein, a carb, a fruit section (usually 2 or so different things, Inc dried fruit sometimes) and a veg section.
To be honest, I think they are often healthier than the cooked meals that aren’t well recieved anyway!!

I meant a 2 week meal plan of simple dinners that aren't sandwiches/wraps every day, @TheFairPrincess.

You really have no idea what they are actually eating at school, particularly if they are fussy eaters. Most schools have a sandwich option...

Also, some vegetables are better for your health cooked, so it is good to have a mix:
www.scientificamerican.com/article/raw-veggies-are-healthier/

Well, no, that's the problem. I can't because there are no where near enough simple and quick cooked meals to fill out 2 weeks of different food, that's the point!

I really don't see what makes a wrap, fruit veg etc inferior to waffles and beans, etc.

Sometimes I do think a cold plate offers alot more variety than a more standard meat and 2 veg option.

Earlier this week i was out in the evening and prepared a cold platter for all of us. (I call it a mezze platter as DS1 is obsessed with Greece). We had;
-sliced peppers; carrots; cherry toms; celery; cucumbers; olives; sundried toms and marinated artichokes
-babybel; camembert; apricot cheese
-breadsticks
-hummus and taramasalata (which my DS1 adores, despite hating fish!)
-ham; cold chicken; spinach tortilla

Now the Dcs will not neccessarily eat all of it but (because I am quite obsessed with DS1's very sedate palate and his various food issues) counted up the different types of food he ate and it came to - 10 different sorts. He did not eat the marinated veg; the spinach tortilla or some of the chesses, but he got 10 types of food into him. That;s a win in my eyes. Sadly he is also one who mainly eats raw vegetables, he has sensory issues as I said upthread so textures are an issue for him.

Tonight, for example we are having 'marry me chicken' which is chicken cooked in a sundried tomato and parmesan cream sauce with tagliatelle. There are 6 different types of food in that (and I am including the onions and the olive oil in that, so really only 5).

(This is just a long winded way of saying that a cold meal of lots of different things can have more variety than a tradition hot meal in my eyes. )

totally fine imo

we used to do it when dc were in nursery and had cooked lunch there.

I wouldn’t, at home you can see what part of the dinner they are eating and work around it to ensure they are getting the nutrients they need. At school… they may be eating just the chips and putting the rest in the bin.

I would continue with the school dinners, use what was the lunch as snack and do proper dinner at night.

I would also say that the solution to fussy eating may be as simple as saying “this is not a restaurant” and stop taking a la carte orders or providing alternatives. Just ask them to have single spoonful of what they don’t want to eat before they are allowed to leave the table. Allow them to go to bed without dinner if they do not want to eat, they will start eating a more varied healthy diet if you stop being so accommodating.

Obviously, they may be allergic or intolerant to the food they may not want to eat BUT do not remove important nutrients from their diet without consulting with a doctor first.

but you are not removing important nutrients by providing a variety of cold foods.

Some other veg ideas:

Grated carrot and hummus as a sandwich filling
Adding sweetcorn / chopped peppers to tuna Mayo
Sugar snap peas
Sliced runner beans
Baby sweetcorn
Roasted beetroot
Cold sweet potato chips
Roasted butternut squash chunks

Make huge batch of coleslaw with shredded white and red cabbage, grated beetroot / carrot and lots of Greek yoghurt, Mayo and a small amount of mustard, squeeze of lemon juice

Could you also do jacket potatoes one night?
Homemade soup and toast would be a great way to add veggies - again make a batch and keep in freezer.

@TheFairPrincess

Can you come up with a 2 week meal plan of simple and quick dinners that they will all eat with only minor modifications eg serving several types of veg so all of them will eat at least 1?

Yes that's the plan So I for my meal plan/shopping list I now have just things to get instead of stuff to make meals.

E.g:
Monday - Wholegrain wrap with ham, cucumber slices, grated carrot, baby bell, yoghurt and honey, banana, blueberries, glass of milk
Tuesday - Wholegrain roll with honey, roast chicken breast pieces, pepper sticks, peach yoghurt, strawberries, apple slices, glass of milk

etc...

Just so much easier to prepare. Ingredients similar to a meal I would cook. greater variety

I think those two sound great but that the 'etc ' might be doing a lot of work - I really would plan it out for two weeks to check that it doesn't become really repetitive after day three or four.

I really don't see what makes a wrap, fruit veg etc inferior to waffles and beans, etc.

I didn't mean ultra processed foods, although baked beans are one of the few ultra processed foods that are still relatively good for you.

If your children weren't fussy and ate everything they are served at school, it would be fine to have packed lunch food for supper. If there really aren't 14 simple and quick meals that they will all eat, I would be surprised that they will be able to find something they will eat every day from a choice of 2 school lunches unless they are opting for a jacket potato or sandwiches a lot of the time, which most schools seem to offer daily as an alternative to the main meal. They could be living on bread, chips and pudding at school.

1. There could be nutritional gaps in their diet if they aren't eating a wide range of foods at school.

1. The other issue is that for fussy eaters, it's not just about nutrition, things like texture, temperature, sauces etc, as well as ingredients, can be an issue. You need to encourage them to eat a range of different types of foods to help them widen their diet in the future. If you only serve sandwiches 5 days a week, they could entirely cut out cooked vegetables, pasta, potatoes or food in sauces and you would be none the wiser. You might find that they stop eating things that they eat now and become even more resistant to trying new foods.

Why don't you head to the Food/Recipes board and see if anyone has suggestions for quick and easy meals that you could make that incorporate things your DC like?

They eat hot food. They eat several meals, will eat out in restaurants etc. It's just on a weekday when I am working, me and my DP are studying, the kids are tired from school etc.. This is a personal choice I have made to ensure food is being eaten, enjoyed, not wasted, not costing me an arm and leg in time and money.

They eat a balanced breakfast, have fruit and milk at school as well as their lunch, I can't just go in assuming they are not going to eat anything healthy, they're not those types of kids. I would only consider them mildly fussy, but fussy enough to make mealtimes a PITA right now.

I do appreciate the recipe section suggestion though! Will definitely take a look :)

I’m not sure I would, sorry.

You’ve no idea how much of the hot meal at school is a) nutritionally balanced b) ends up being eaten by your child - what if they just pick at it, or only eat the potatoes or meat etc?

With winter coming I’d want to know I’m sending them to bed with a hot evening meal inside them, plus that way you know what they’ve had by way of a hot meal. I think the sandwich thing for an evening meal is fine occasionally, or a bowl of soup with lots of crusty bread and cheese perhaps, but not every night.

I also doubt they’ll grow out of being fussy eaters if you don’t keep trying to expand their repertoire at home.

I wouldn’t cook two/three different dinners each night to cater to their fussiness; just do one, with all the different elements there for them to choose the bits they like, then toast and yoghurt or fruit to finish if they’ve not had much of it - that way you know what they’ve had, and if they’ve had a hot lunch too then it’s a bonus.

And to the poster up thread who suggested breadsticks and rice cakes as a carbohydrate option- that is awful. Those things aren’t at all filling or nutritious - they won’t touch the sides of a hungry, growing child.

Children, especially as they get to be teenagers, need to eat serious amounts each day - especially if they’ve been running about or doing P.E.

A cold meal, especially in hot weather, fine - but for the love of God please don’t give them something so light as rice cakes and think that’s feeding your child properly!

Op, If they are fussy at home, they are fussy at school. If they are not fussy at school… they are taking you for a ride at home because they know they can with YOU.

There is no fussy eater who takes their nutrition seriously, at least not until they get considerably older and start reading about nutrition and healthy eating themselves.

In the meantime, it is your job to ensure they are properly feed. Any kid will tell you that when given the choice, most kids will eat chips, very basic sandwiches or deserts so… they are much better off having at least a well balanced big meal at home. Now, if they are not having that at home either on the excuse of being fussy… who is taking care of their diets? Are they having enough protein during the day to avoid their brains turn into mush? Enough vegetables to provide the vitamins to help them to stay fend illnesses? Sadly a lot of “fussy eaters” are being raised with not enough variety in their diets to help them achieve their potential, because believe me, a good diet does change a lot of things, it is not just about surviving from one meal to the next.

There are cases where due to allergies, intolerance or sensorial issues your kids will refuse to eat certain foods (I have one of those kids), but even in those cases, you still need to work around them to ensure they are properly nourished by getting a good variety of nutrients

The temperature that food is served at, and whether or not it is cooked has no bearing on how healthy or filling it is.

Cold food could be crudites, hummus, falafels and pittas. Mostly raw and very nutritious and filling.

Hot food could be instant noodles or cheap pizza and chips, full of rubbish.

Offering vegetables, fruit, pulses etc and a suitable amount of food is key, not how it is served. And I say that as someone who much prefers hot food and usually has it at least two or three times a day. I almost never eat a completely cold meal by choice. Even if I have salad, it usually has (hot) falafels, griddled halloumi or a toasted pitta with it.

@GrandmasCat why is the food I'm serving not inherently balanced and nutritious? Are you just assuming that because it's not hot?

It’s fine if school lunch is decent quality and portion size. Some sound good but are awful quality or tiny portions in reality. Also if dc has choice they may pick wrap etc so not eating variety. Give it a try and see how they like it. If they are needing to snack a lot I’d increase size of evening meal. Will they eat soup - that’s easy and warming in winter. I do rice pudding in slow cooker.

No, I am assuming that because you say you say you are struggling to get them to eat at home if you don’t keep offering different food to each child.
If they have so much choice, why would they accept a variety of nutritious food just because it is cold? They would probably end up eating a very limited variety of foods night after night, just as they are at the moment, it comes with fussy eating territory.