Giving up cooked dinners for DC.

[TheFairPrincess]

I have 3 young DC, eldest is 6. Previously they had packed lunches for school/preschool as DD was nervous of school dinners.

She had one as a quick fix this week due to a forgotten lunch box and enjoyed the experience, so now she'll be having hot school dinners.

Dinners at home are a bit of a nightmare at the moment. Fussy eating/genuinely different tastes means it's hard to cook balanced meals that everyone will eat. It's got to a point where I'm cooking multiple different meals. I'm wasting time, money and sanity on this. There are a couple of universally loved cooked dinners which I will do on the weekend.

I was thinking of getting the packed lunch bits I would normally get for school lunches and serving "packed lunches" for the kids dinner. Is this awful, or normal? The meals will be balanced nutritionally, but not hot.

Does anyone else do this? And if so, do you have any tips for branching out and still adding in challenging tastes eventually?

The replies are great, I feel so free from spending all that time in the kitchen, am genuinely excited

Would they eat DIY style meals? For example, give them a bowl of cooked pasta and set out bowls of toppings to stir in. Same thing with pizzas, fajitas, tacos etc.

[quote TheFairPrincess]@earthyfire to be fair though a cold meal can still be decent in size and quantity. It's just a case of tuning it to suit what your DC will eat :)[/quote]
The primary school meals are tiny here, a packed lunch instead of a decent dinner wouldn’t do ours. Do you know any TA’s or lunch assistants at the school to check what they are like where your DC go?

We do this frequently - especially on nights where DH and I fancy something spicy or otherwise not child friendly, or one of us is late back from somewhere. Generally I sit with them with a cup of tea while they eat so we still have the "sitting down together" element of the meal, even though DH and I will eat separately.

My experience is my children are getting fussier as they get older but are used to needing to try vegetables so will do. When we have sandwiches, beans on toast etc too often I find they struggle to get used to trying food again!

Your priority has to be your sanity but don’t let them get used to never trying new foods.
I hate making tea 😄 but I’m always pleased I did when they’ve eaten vegetables and used knives and forks.

Cook only one meal. If the kids don't eat then they don't eat.

I'm going to assume (also by your post) that the kids eat well during the day, right? Breakfast, lunch, snacks. It's ok not to eat at dinner once in a while. Actually my kids have requested to get out of bed at storytime to finally eat dinner and after finishing more than half then I gave them their milk bottles

I cook one meal for everyone, if you don’t eat you go hungry. Pandering to picky eaters just makes them worse.

Ooh no I can't do that, in reality they would be hungry, they do eat good healthy breakfasts and snacks but it's a no go for me with that, though I do understand that it work for some. Then there's also the food waste and wasted time of me cooking uneaten food!

Me and DP like hello fresh/gousta etc and more spicy food, it would definitely be good to be able to cook that and not worry so much about cooking multiple meals. When they are older they will join in :)

@RosyPoesy

I cook one meal for everyone, if you don’t eat you go hungry. Pandering to picky eaters just makes them worse.

That's my thinking; how are they going to magically hit a moment where they all decide that they're ready to eat as part of the family? IME if you don't model it, it doesn't happen. And a PP is right, they do get fussier as they get older. My 11 year old is fussier now than when she was a toddler.

My husband is very into this ‘cook one meal, don’t eat fine but nothing else’ and I found it so harsh but it has worked well for us and the battles earlier on mean we tend to have relatively peaceful teatimes. One friend always comments on how easy it is for me with my children but it’s been hard over the years, she just doesn’t see that!

What's the thing about hot dinners?

I dont understand that. My kids get school lunches because it's easier for me. For dinner, I make whatever I want. Sometimes it's a hot, big roast with all the sides. Sometimes its salad with nuts and cheeses. The temperature has absolutely nothing to do with it.

Look, as long as the meals are filling and well balanced then why are you going on about the temperature?

You only do it once or twice because they know that is what they have to eat. Besides I don't heat it up if they wanted warm they could eat it straight away (my kids usually take a long time to eat anyway so they are used to cooler food and actually request it including canned soup )

@TheFairPrincess

Ooh no I can't do that, in reality they would be hungry, they do eat good healthy breakfasts and snacks but it's a no go for me with that, though I do understand that it work for some. Then there's also the food waste and wasted time of me cooking uneaten food!

Me and DP like hello fresh/gousta etc and more spicy food, it would definitely be good to be able to cook that and not worry so much about cooking multiple meals. When they are older they will join in :)

You sound lovely😊 I disagree that they’d never eat because they would learn they’d have to eat instead of refusing to try but I understand why you aren’t pushing this! Good luck 😊

Yes mine have school dinners then for tea they'll have :
Sausage, fish fingers or bacon sandwich,
Beans /egg on toast,
Pizza and salad,
Pasta and sauce,
Pitta pizza and salad,
Cold meats, dips, salad and crackers,
Pancakes,
Left overs (smaller portion than if it was a main),
Jacket potato and filling,
Potatoe waffle and beans.
Chicken /ham sandwich, crisps, salad.
Always a piece of fruit (sometimes with rice pudding or custard), sometimes some homemade flapjack, biscuits or cake.

I've had to rule of, "you dont need to eat all of it but you must try 3 bites". And I'm a big fan of side dishes so there is always a few different things for meals and the kids just need to take 3 bites of something before they can say they dont like that part.
I will still serve it again a few weeks later and they need to try it again. They're now both very good eaters. No fussy behaviour or moaning over dinner.
You really should be bringing them up to try their food properly.

@TheWoleb

What's the thing about hot dinners?

I dont understand that. My kids get school lunches because it's easier for me. For dinner, I make whatever I want. Sometimes it's a hot, big roast with all the sides. Sometimes its salad with nuts and cheeses. The temperature has absolutely nothing to do with it.

Look, as long as the meals are filling and well balanced then why are you going on about the temperature?

I don’t think it’s the temperature I think it’s over reliance on sandwiches, pasta etc and not having more varied meals.

I feel your pain over having fussy eaters!! My 8yo DS used to eat everything and anything but the older he's gotten, the more bloody fussy. I hate it!

Btw, it's ok if they don't want a part of the meal but they need to eat the rest. The point is not to make extra meals every day

Its completely fine.

Can you batch cook the family favourites and portion/freeze them as back ups?

@RosyPoesy

I cook one meal for everyone, if you don’t eat you go hungry. Pandering to picky eaters just makes them worse.

Nope I can categorically say that this approach has failed spectacularly in our house. My dd would refuse to eat at nursery, she wouldn’t eat hot dinners at school - she would come home hungry.

I think it’s genetic - DH’s mum has a very sensitive sense of taste and smell as does DD, she struggles with strong flavours and smells.

We try and cook one meal but with an “option” eg we have a curry with rice, dd has the rice and I’ll reheat meat sauce type thing.

@1AngelicFruitCake

But cold doesnt mean just sandwiches. There are some lovely cold soups, great when its warm. And I don't really count toasting a bit of goats cheese or grilling some aubergine as "hot dinner" because you're seeing them on a big pile of cold stuff. That's probably me giving it a twisted definition though.

Ifit's literally going to be sandwiches or cocktail sausages or something for dinner every night then that isnt so good.

This is what we do for my DD, who’s 7 - at her request. She’s getting a cooked meal at school, so I think it’s fine. We just have to keep an eye on the balance of nutritious food to fun stuff, like crisps.

[quote TheWoleb]@1AngelicFruitCake

But cold doesnt mean just sandwiches. There are some lovely cold soups, great when its warm. And I don't really count toasting a bit of goats cheese or grilling some aubergine as "hot dinner" because you're seeing them on a big pile of cold stuff. That's probably me giving it a twisted definition though.

Ifit's literally going to be sandwiches or cocktail sausages or something for dinner every night then that isnt so good.[/quote]
Yes I agree but I think it’s about avoiding doing the same things. If I didn’t make a tea with vegetables then I think it

Posted too soon!
I think I’d end up with limited options! All I’m saying Is stopping doing proper meals wouldn’t work for my family but clearly it does for others.

I dión't really ever remember having two hot/cooked meals in a day tbh.

Well porridge/scrambled egg for breakfast doesn't preclude a cooked lunch, nor does a cooked lunch preclude soup in the evening, but you know what I mean.