OLD as a bisexual woman...I give up!!!

[CrumpetStrumpet]

I'm just not getting anywhere...

Been on tinder for three months now. I originally had settings fixed to men and women. Flooded with likes from guys, hardly any from women. I then changed my preferences to just women (I've realised I have zero interest in men atm) and have hardly gotten a like since! I send quite a few likes myself but hardly get anything back. I've had a few matches but getting conversation out of them is like pulling teeth!

I also joined Hinge last week and not a single like! What am I doing wrong? I'm early forties, attractive, well dressed, able to carry a conversation. I'm starting to lose hope of every finding a nice woman to go on a date with

I’ve heard similar from lesbian/bi friends. It’s putting me off tbh, being in a similar boat myself (bi but only really looking to date women).

Maybe the best way is to meet women IRL.

That's interesting @TirisfalPumpkin I wonder why that is?
I'd love to meet someone in RL. Unfortunately as a lone parent to small DC I don't get out much. It sucks

I reckon you are now experiencing the equivalent of men who go online dating looking for women. We seem to be far pickier :)

@aurynne You could be right. I think that's made me feel even more depressed tbh!

I feel for you there! I'm bisexual but I have a massive preference for woman. I find I get unlimited male likes and matches on tinder but not so many woman 😩

Meeting woman irl is difficult because I'm a lone parent too and have my 1yo with me nearly 24/7

I just want a good woman to go on dates with and hopefully have a relationship with!!

@mummaelle That's all I want as well It sounds like such a simple ask but is apparently so hard. I'm fed up of feeling lonely.

@CrumpetStrumpet, also consider that the pool of lesbian/bisexual women is about 10 times smaller than the pool of heterosexual women, so you already start with far fewer options. I don't think there's absolutely anything wrong with you, you simply are looking in a far more limited place, and hence, need to adjust your expectations accordingly.

The other very real issue you will find if you disclose you are bisexual, is that many people who are attracted only to one sex feel that a bisexual person is more likely to cheat with someone from the other sex, regardless of how little sense this statement makes.

Same here, OP. I have no idea what I'm doing wrong either. It makes me feel really low and rubbish!

Some people are saying this is what it's like for men but it isn't, is it? Every man I know who has used OLD has had matches and convos and dates.

Have you tried Bumble? I've heard it's a bit nicer than Tinder

@aurynne I totally get where you are coming from regarding being bi. I know that's a commonly held misconception.

I have a bi friend who gets loads of matches! I honestly don't think she's any better looking than me and her profiles are far less articulate. I really don't know what the magic formula is (just that I don't have it)

@Rozziie Perhaps we need to start a new OLD site for downhearted bisexual women?

@Antinerak I don't think I could cope with being disappointed on another platform right now

[quote CrumpetStrumpet]@Rozziie Perhaps we need to start a new OLD site for downhearted bisexual women?

@Antinerak I don't think I could cope with being disappointed on another platform right now[/quote]
Ha! There is a friends option on there so if all else fails you can find a loner to chat to!

Do newspapers still have the lonely hearts section or is that a no too?

@Antinerak My lonely hearts advert would be fairly broad... "Woman seeks anyone female"

Do any of you guys live near each other? This thread could be just what you're looking for! I think I counted 4 of you looking for the same thing??!! Slide into each other's dms and see if it's doable

@CrumpetStrumpet @mummaelle

Get together !
😍😍

There was a thread on the sex forum recently about this - I think someone set up an email list!

Haha @frazzledfragglefromfragglerock I'm in Durham and have all my own teeth if anyone is interested

@foxgoosefinch I will check that out!

Well considering your replies you should all meet up somewhere for a drink and a dance and see who hits it off!

Also, a lot of women who say they’re bi are actually quite inexperienced with women, and the idea of having to teach someone is really unappealing

@BestestBrownies "contaminated by cock" WTF? Biphobic much?

There's plenty of bi women wanting to date other women on the apps. In fact there's more bi women on them than lesbians for the most part.

I'm not inexperienced either. I've had sex with women.

@BestestBrownies

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Well, that’s horrible. And not at all representative of what most lesbian and bisexual women think at all!

OP I think the thread in the sex forum was called someone like “meeting likeminded women” or similar. Wish I’d signed up to it myself! Maybe I should do.

""contaminated by cock"??? You do realise women wash after having sex with either, right?

Maybe they should create a mums net dating thread 😂

Eww @BestestBrownies, the biphobia is not a good look

I'm a lesbian and have mainly dated bi women in the past so not all of us think that way

I've found with OLD, women are far less likely to reach out, so you have to put more effort in. I actually found more success on the more old school type dating apps like OkCupid (I don't even know if that's even a thing any more!) Tinder was always a bust for me, the filter didn't work so just had blokes messaging