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Original poster

To fucking hate my life right now

43 replies

Wintersights · 14/09/2021 21:46

I'm probably just being dramatic but I'm just so fed up with everything right now. I'm 26 and just feel like I've done fuck all with my life. I've worked hard in low paid jobs, mainly child care but I've had enough of working in a nursery. Shit pay, long hours and it's such a toxic environment at times. 0 progression at all as the manager has been here for years but I think she's only paid £2 an hour more anyway. It's crap! I've rented on my own and dread to think how much I've spent over the last 7 years. I hate it here, it is literally the biggest shithole ever. Apart from me and one other neighbour, everyone's gardens are filled with rubbish and rotting furniture. We have shared recycling bins along the main road which everyone (and I mean people who don't even live here) like to use. Someone has recently dumped a fucking tv stand, coffee table and other bits next to our recycling bins (yes, because the refuse workers will take them away won't they Hmm). Been on to the council since last week but nobody listens. It is an absolute eyesore. We literally have rats running around because of these bins, it's disgusting and to top it all off my upstairs neighbours 18 year old daughter loves to throw her fag stumps in my garden every day. People tell me to ignore it all but I actually take pride in where I live and it just drives me insane that people can be so lazy and inconsiderate. Wtf are we paying council tax for when we have to live like this?

I thought I'd finally be able to have a fresh start, managed to put an offer in on a property that was affordable for me nearly 3 months ago and it looks like it's all about to fall apart at the very last minute. I just can't believe it and the thought of having to stay here is making me feel so depressed. It's taken me years to save up on my shitty wage and properties around here are so expensive. I can't just go and buy the next one that gets added to Rightmove like so many people seem to think. So many people are out of touch with house prices, what lenders will borrow now etc. My mum has been really supportive but her answer to this sort of thing is "when you meet someone it will be easier". I don't want to wait for man to come along so I can do this. I've kept a roof over my head and all the bills paid without any help for the last 7 years. I know she means well but it really pisses me off. I also stayed in my job just so I could get through the mortgage before leaving and finding something better, although that's difficult as most employers want people who already have experience.

I just feel so so fed up that I'm trying to better my life and every time I do something it all goes tits up. I'm sorry, I know there are people far worse off than me and I should just be grateful I have somewhere to live. Just feeling so down tonight and when I see other people my age settled with a partner, kids, their own house it just makes me wonder what the hell I've done wrong!

OP posts:
ShrimpBarbarian · 14/09/2021 21:51

You sound like life is getting you down. It happens

When I was in my 20s I hadn't done much. Are you stuck with where you live? Can you go somewhere with training?

What do you like doing?

Ohsugarhoneyicetea · 14/09/2021 21:58

You're still really young you can turn all of it around. Get yourself off to uni and do a degree in something in demand that pays well (data, project management, environment, sustainability, finance, digital learning etc). The future does not have to be like the past, but you have to make changes if you want it to be different. I love your attitude of not relying on anyone else there is huge freedom in that choice, but it does also mean responsibilty and hard work. Working with young children is incredibly hard work - apply that to something that delivers on salary!

iddybiddymum · 14/09/2021 21:59

I think being in your 20's can be tough. I never enjoyed mine. However I can look back ( and I'm only 35 or 36 I can't remember anymore), and I wish I enjoyed it more.

I think it's amazing you have your own place, obviously it's not ideal but it's a start. Things evolve and change all of the time.
Your job ( nursery workers do an amazing job), could lead you into something else. Could you look at being a TA with your experience?

You're still so young ( it may not seem it), but it can all change so quickly. If you're able to save as well that's also great. Another place will
come up at some point, and keep it your focus!

Keep going and keep positive.

Divebar2021 · 14/09/2021 22:02

What job do you want to do?

MaskingForIt · 14/09/2021 22:22

You sound hard working and determined, well done you!

Can you train for something other than nursery work? Primary teaching? Would being a private nanny pay better?

DeepaBeesKit · 14/09/2021 22:27

Being a nanny or operating as a childminder from your home can earn you better money, I don't know if either of these would be possible? Some very wealthy people also choose live in nannies & this can include pleasant accomodation if you are single without a family, where I live (affluent south east) the trend is for small flats above the garages for nannies, its usual nicely done with a bedroom, separate lounge diner & bathroom.

RyanReynoldsHusband · 14/09/2021 22:30

I didn’t want to read and run but I promise you that it can get better. I felt very similar at 26. Now in my 30s I don’t recognise who I was back then - so much has changed.

I echo the advice about setting up as a childminder. There are ways to make decent money in child care

felulageller · 14/09/2021 22:32

I think you need a fresh start somewhere new. How about a live in job somewhere? Or sublet and travel (maybe post covid?)
Could you bear a flatshare in a new big city?

aquashiv · 14/09/2021 22:45

Travel..see the world...having child care experience you could work any where....

jeaux90 · 14/09/2021 22:49

I'm so sorry you are down, you sound like a grafter so it must be really frustrating. Live in job somewhere might work? Can you study part time for something you really want to do? I'm in the IT industry and it pays really well but so many careers out there and you are so young.

AgnesNaismith · 14/09/2021 22:52

Could you train as a teacher? You can be paid whilst training now and you obviously have great experience that will help.

I had nothing at your age either. You can change it and you don’t need a man to either.

Anordinarymum · 14/09/2021 22:53

@Wintersights

I'm probably just being dramatic but I'm just so fed up with everything right now. I'm 26 and just feel like I've done fuck all with my life. I've worked hard in low paid jobs, mainly child care but I've had enough of working in a nursery. Shit pay, long hours and it's such a toxic environment at times. 0 progression at all as the manager has been here for years but I think she's only paid £2 an hour more anyway. It's crap! I've rented on my own and dread to think how much I've spent over the last 7 years. I hate it here, it is literally the biggest shithole ever. Apart from me and one other neighbour, everyone's gardens are filled with rubbish and rotting furniture. We have shared recycling bins along the main road which everyone (and I mean people who don't even live here) like to use. Someone has recently dumped a fucking tv stand, coffee table and other bits next to our recycling bins (yes, because the refuse workers will take them away won't they Hmm). Been on to the council since last week but nobody listens. It is an absolute eyesore. We literally have rats running around because of these bins, it's disgusting and to top it all off my upstairs neighbours 18 year old daughter loves to throw her fag stumps in my garden every day. People tell me to ignore it all but I actually take pride in where I live and it just drives me insane that people can be so lazy and inconsiderate. Wtf are we paying council tax for when we have to live like this?

I thought I'd finally be able to have a fresh start, managed to put an offer in on a property that was affordable for me nearly 3 months ago and it looks like it's all about to fall apart at the very last minute. I just can't believe it and the thought of having to stay here is making me feel so depressed. It's taken me years to save up on my shitty wage and properties around here are so expensive. I can't just go and buy the next one that gets added to Rightmove like so many people seem to think. So many people are out of touch with house prices, what lenders will borrow now etc. My mum has been really supportive but her answer to this sort of thing is "when you meet someone it will be easier". I don't want to wait for man to come along so I can do this. I've kept a roof over my head and all the bills paid without any help for the last 7 years. I know she means well but it really pisses me off. I also stayed in my job just so I could get through the mortgage before leaving and finding something better, although that's difficult as most employers want people who already have experience.

I just feel so so fed up that I'm trying to better my life and every time I do something it all goes tits up. I'm sorry, I know there are people far worse off than me and I should just be grateful I have somewhere to live. Just feeling so down tonight and when I see other people my age settled with a partner, kids, their own house it just makes me wonder what the hell I've done wrong!

Ar 26 you are just starting out in life. Too young to be settling down with children. Do not be in a hurry to tick boxes. Just enjoy your life as it is short. You are in a position where you can choose to have a career or do anything you want, you just don't realise it perhaps? I think you need to get out more.. clubbing ,socialising and maybe travelling. Lots of time ahead of you honestly !
Original poster
Wintersights · 14/09/2021 22:59

Thank you. I was worried that I might sound like a winging brat. Ideally I would like to become an NVQ assessor teaching child care, but I don't have any GCSE's (struggled in school). I worry that I'm not smart enough to do anything else. I've looked into apprenticeships but I'm over 24 (to be eligible I would have to be between 16-24).

Looking at being a nanny is a good shout, not sure about a child minder but can always look into it. I think the house purchase falling through has just been the nail in the coffin tbh. Tomorrow is a new day I guess...

OP posts:
Original poster
Wintersights · 14/09/2021 23:02

Since being a teenager I have suffered with depression on and off and I've taken medication before but it hasn't really helped me. I think I also have some OCD tendencies. I want to have my whole life planned out, house, kids, partner, job etc and it scares me that I don't. I know it's not something that I have control over but I'm worried that the years are passing by and nothings happening.

OP posts:
GCAcademic · 14/09/2021 23:05

Apprenticeships aren’t just for 18-24 year olds, there are also Adult Apprenticeships.

Notcontent · 14/09/2021 23:10

Try to get some more qualifications. You write well, so you are obviously quite academically able.

Cluelessgardener · 14/09/2021 23:11

Probably not much consolation but I adore my son's nursery workers and im sure the parents of the kids you look after adore you too. I know it doesn't help with money, etc, but some things are worth more than money.

I hope everything works out for you

LakieLady · 14/09/2021 23:14

You've done amazingly to be in a position to have saved a deposit, OP!

It must be so frustrating to lose out on a property purchase but you're still in a good position to buy. And you could well end up finding somewhere better.

And I think the idea of looking for a live-in job is an excellent one. Think how much more you could save, plus you'd probably have a nice environment to live in. My friend's sister had a live in nanny, beautiful house in a lovely square on the Fulham/Kensington borders and she had the whole basement flat to herself. It was bigger than my house.

Anordinarymum · 14/09/2021 23:32

@Wintersights

Since being a teenager I have suffered with depression on and off and I've taken medication before but it hasn't really helped me. I think I also have some OCD tendencies. I want to have my whole life planned out, house, kids, partner, job etc and it scares me that I don't. I know it's not something that I have control over but I'm worried that the years are passing by and nothings happening.
You can't plan a life because you never know what is around the corner. As other people have said there are apprenticeships open to you. Those girls who wanted a family at a young age do not have the opportunities that you have. Do not think you are missing out on anything because you are free to choose to do what you want and that is a luxury some people do not have
BoredZelda · 14/09/2021 23:45

You can do your GCSEs now at evening classes, or do an access to college course. If you want to change your life, it is possible to do no matter what age you are.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 14/09/2021 23:55

Do a year's access course and go to uni.
I did a degree in my 40's in an NHS speciality and now I'm on £40k. You don't need to do GCSE's the access course covers it.
Before that I was a single parent for years working full time and not earning much, no money for holidays or treats.

HellonHeels · 15/09/2021 00:42

You are young, very hardworking, and articulate. I am sure you could study for an alternative career and be very successful. Don't lose heart, youve recognised what is bothering you, that is the first step to making a change.

EmeraldShamrock · 15/09/2021 00:47

It is really tough.
Just think this is short term.
You've got the hands on experience, can you start a degree in child care, the money in management is good and you will never be out of work
The work you do is very valuable the pay isn't great but the work is priceless.

UrbanRambler · 15/09/2021 01:00

You've done nothing wrong OP, it sounds like you've worked hard but due to the low wages you've been forced to rent in a run down neighbourhood, but you're not trapped there, you can change things, step by step.

Your mum probably hoped you'd meet a suitable partner then things would naturally be easier, as two incomes combined would give you more options in the property market. Well, as that hasn't happened, I think you're doing the right thing in trying to get your own property now, rather than waiting around for Mr Right. Don't despair, another place will come along, there are lots of unsold flats and apartments around, and some of them are shared ownership so might be kore affordabke for you. If you can stick with your job until you buy your first place, that will make it easier to get the mortgage, then once you're in your new home you might cope better with job hunting and/or part time study to open doors to a different job.

Do you enjoy any aspects of your job? If it was better paid, would you still want to change jobs? Could you move back in with your mum, for a few weeks, while you find the right place?

You are still very young with many options. Living in a rough neighbourhood with thoughtless neighbours is horrid, but perhaps once you escape that situation you will be able to think more clearly. Good luck OP.

AthenaPopodopolous · 15/09/2021 01:26

Consider retraining for a better paid job like teaching, midwifery or nursing maybe? Keep renting till you do. Or can you do extra qualifications to become a senior? Maybe you need careers advice before you commit to a mortgage.