To fucking hate my life right now

[Wintersights]

I'm probably just being dramatic but I'm just so fed up with everything right now. I'm 26 and just feel like I've done fuck all with my life. I've worked hard in low paid jobs, mainly child care but I've had enough of working in a nursery. Shit pay, long hours and it's such a toxic environment at times. 0 progression at all as the manager has been here for years but I think she's only paid £2 an hour more anyway. It's crap! I've rented on my own and dread to think how much I've spent over the last 7 years. I hate it here, it is literally the biggest shithole ever. Apart from me and one other neighbour, everyone's gardens are filled with rubbish and rotting furniture. We have shared recycling bins along the main road which everyone (and I mean people who don't even live here) like to use. Someone has recently dumped a fucking tv stand, coffee table and other bits next to our recycling bins (yes, because the refuse workers will take them away won't they ). Been on to the council since last week but nobody listens. It is an absolute eyesore. We literally have rats running around because of these bins, it's disgusting and to top it all off my upstairs neighbours 18 year old daughter loves to throw her fag stumps in my garden every day. People tell me to ignore it all but I actually take pride in where I live and it just drives me insane that people can be so lazy and inconsiderate. Wtf are we paying council tax for when we have to live like this?

I thought I'd finally be able to have a fresh start, managed to put an offer in on a property that was affordable for me nearly 3 months ago and it looks like it's all about to fall apart at the very last minute. I just can't believe it and the thought of having to stay here is making me feel so depressed. It's taken me years to save up on my shitty wage and properties around here are so expensive. I can't just go and buy the next one that gets added to Rightmove like so many people seem to think. So many people are out of touch with house prices, what lenders will borrow now etc. My mum has been really supportive but her answer to this sort of thing is "when you meet someone it will be easier". I don't want to wait for man to come along so I can do this. I've kept a roof over my head and all the bills paid without any help for the last 7 years. I know she means well but it really pisses me off. I also stayed in my job just so I could get through the mortgage before leaving and finding something better, although that's difficult as most employers want people who already have experience.

I just feel so so fed up that I'm trying to better my life and every time I do something it all goes tits up. I'm sorry, I know there are people far worse off than me and I should just be grateful I have somewhere to live. Just feeling so down tonight and when I see other people my age settled with a partner, kids, their own house it just makes me wonder what the hell I've done wrong!

www.accesstohe.ac.uk/#

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Link to access courses

Can you get a higher degree of education? Maybe an apprenticeship?

You sound like you have it together. You have saved up for a deposit and are looking for a place. You just need to find a new job when you are able. You have no responsibilities holding you back (that you have mentioned) so what is the actual problem?

You sound like you are stuck in a rut. Could you hold off with buying a house for now, do something different, do a degree, do some travelling ( once restrictions lift ) rent a room in a shared house in a nicer area maybe. I know these things could look like a step back but you are young , single and have so many options which could be life changing.

Train as a night nanny through Baby Em the money is really good or go to Norland and do the full monty- you could make insane money as a nanny/night nanny/mat nurse

@Parsley1234

Train as a night nanny through Baby Em the money is really good or go to Norland and do the full monty- you could make insane money as a nanny/night nanny/mat nurse

Norland is a three year degree course with a fourth newly qualified year where you do earn. We have to top up my DDs tuition fees by £1000 a month during term time, plus subsidise her maintenance loan. Even as a student she can earn £12 per hour in great locations, but the hours are very long.

Totally get it - life can be a total grind. I was a few years younger than you when I handed in my notice to my flat and my dead-end job putting me in a corner. I took off travelling and when I came back, went to uni - entrance requirements were waived back then if you were over 21.

In your shoes, I’d research access courses and sign up to start next academic year and then fuck off and see the world knowing that your new start is October 2022.

Life is way too short to sit and wait for a knight in shining armour!

No real great advice but I think you’ve done amazingly well at 26 to have supported yourself for the last 7 years and managed to save for a deposit, I’d be very proud of yourself, you sound really hard working & determined. Don’t lose sight of that goal, it will happen. Get onto the council again & again and again, send email after email & be firm, but polite until they reply! They should respond! Have a word with your neighbour & say your sure her daughter doesn’t mean to but her fag ends always end up in your garden! An idea to keep things ‘good’ is maybe buy a cheap ash tray & take it with you when you go to mention it, it’ll seem more ‘friendly’ & keeps things nice as I think the last thing you need is a shitty neighbour. Good luck.

You are still young, don’t think life is passing you by.

Just to say that if you don’t have any GCSEs, you will be able to undertake free courses for a maths and English GCSE at a local college www.gov.uk/improve-english-maths-it-skills

Just to say that you've done really well to graft and save under such tough conditions. And very commendable that you're doing all this alone without needing a man. So don't get down on yourself - you've absolutely got what it takes to turn things around.

Can you look at another property? House purchases are notoriously flaky, and heart breaking as they can always just fall through. Is moving to a new place an option - one with more job opportunities.

I would second pp saying to do your GCSEs and then look at teaching. Or another option could be retail - it's a hard slog initially but someone who grafts like you could work her way up and get into head office eventually. Especially with the big grocers. What about policing? Shift work can be hard but the money is decent, lots of progression,stability and the skills you learn make it easier to transfer into other professions.

@OvertiredandConfused I know a few Norlanders and the jobs they have are insane it was just a thought

What was the reason you didn't do your gcses? You don't have to post it here but it may impact on what the best path is for you. Is there a local charity that helps with careers advice? I wouldn't suggest jumping into an access course and then a degree without perhaps doing g months and English gcses first. This is required for a lot of jobs. And if you struggle here then a degree is unlikely to be the best option for you. Adult apprenticeships might then be a better route.

*maths, not months

I agree with others. You are so young. You have brilliant childcare experience. If the new place falls through, choose adventure over a dull life you don't enjoy. Apply for well paid live-in nannying jobs abroad or at least in wealthy areas where you have your own quarters. Save a huge chunk of what you earn. Or get onto an agency as the holiday nanny - paid to accompany wealthy families on holiday - at least that way you get to see a bit of the world and how it works. It doesn't have to be perfect. you might get some monstrous families, but you can walk away.

Or retrain in a completely different area. There are lots of different ways to live. You are not tied down to getting on the mortgage ladder and stuck in a job you hate.

Another nice live in environment is girls boarding schools. You can definitely do this, just work out what your path is and execute on it. So much access to adult learning available.

Huge huge hugs, OP.. Just that.

You will when you find the route do well at whatever you turn to with your great attitude and standards.
Can you go to nightschool? Evening classes? To increase qualifications; not sure if they still have them there. My mother, way back, was made to leave school at fourteen to work in the mill. did night school and became secretary to a VIP. she had the same drive you do,
And yes, people are PIGS at times. Just PIGS.

@jeaux90

Another nice live in environment is girls boarding schools. You can definitely do this, just work out what your path is and execute on it. So much access to adult learning available.

I've always fancied being a house mother at a girls' boarding school.