Crying again before night shift

[Freudiandreams]

I work in a hospital. Usually on with 5 other staff to man a 29 bed acute mental health ward. 2 turned up (including me) yesterday.

If not short, then I’m likely to be sent to another ward which I don’t know, with unpredictable patients that I have responsibility of caring for throughout the night until 830am.

I’m so tired. Everyone’s going off sick with stress. I want to call in sick, but I’m not sick.

I just dread it, been sleeping all day to avoid thinking about it. I usually sleep 2pm after my night shift, but after last nights I’ve literally just woke up

@Freudiandreams I feel for you. The public are sadly clueless to these issues, no idea the pressure and strain. It's demoralising for you as well as mentally and physically demoralising. I wish I could give you a hug x

Time to look for a job elsewhere?
I remember this sort of situation, it used to happen frequently when I was a nursing student too. Couldn't get agency to cover, only a couple of staff turning up to staff the night shift..... It was awful.
Now I work endoscopy, all day cases, no nights - still staffing issues but nowhere near the dangerous situations on the ward.

I feel for you I really do

Hang on in their op. Things are massively tough right now and I honestly think the system is going to break within the next 2-3 months and action will have to be taken. We have 30 RN gaps on tonight’s late shift and we’re not as bad as other hospitals. It’s hideous. Your patients need you and you are doing amazingly - we know this is hard. Do you have a health and well-being team in your trust?
Also, they would rather you worked less shifts than none at all.

Quit!
It's not worth your mental health.

No better in care home either, 30 dementia with 2 night staff at times.

A big thank you from me for all you are doing. My DM spent a lot time in a mental health unit, she always felt looked after.

Oh OP I'm sorry to hear this. I felt exactly the same before going into my nursing shifts, I would pray something would happen to me on the way to work so I didn't have to go in. I was crying every day, a knot of anxiety in my stomach going in, wondering if I'd be moved to another unfamiliar ward if we weren't short.
I should have left a few years before I did, but I was scared because it was actually quite a nice job as far as nursing goes. But I couldn't do it any longer and I moved to another job last year and the weight has lifted from my shoulders.
Could you do bank work to see which areas (if any) are better for you and look to see if they're is anything else out there?
Hugs to you, it's a horrible horrible situation.

Time to quit. Honestly there are other jobs that won't be like this. Nanny / mothers help / dula/ nursery worker / literally anything. Good luck

I totally know where you're coming from. Until December last year I worked on a 33 bed elderly acute medical ward (a mixture of critically poorly but not for ITU input & dementia patients).

Our staffing was the same. Should be 6 HCAs plus 3/4 trained nurses. We were usually operating on 2 & 2 by the time I left. Like you, if ever our staffing level seemed reasonable staff would be moved elsewhere.

My breaking point was a shift with 16 patients to myself, every one with quite high needs (help with toileting, mobilising, dressing, eating etc) and I had to somehow try to do all that whilst also stopping a wandering dementia patient (not her fault I know) from going around the bays pulling out everyone's cannulas. Many with drips attached. She thought they were security tags to stop people leaving the ward.

And yet you come on MN & people will be contacting PALS because nobody answered the ward phone for 20 mins. Outside of 8.30 to 4 Monday to Friday HCAs & nurses were also the only people to answer the phone......

I now work in a GP surgery BTW. It has it's own issues but at least we are fully staffed.

Hand hold. I am so sorry. Why the fuck do they do this to people. I can relate a bit as my sister was in a similar position. Shortages and moved onto wards she didn't know. Sadly, I think these things affect the very best staff the most.

Know exactly how you feel. We are always short as well on our Mental Health Ward. In my head I want to blame covid but the sad fact is that its been like this as long as I have worked there.
Everyone is exhausted and burnt out.

OP, I happen to have a good idea of how tough your job is! 6 people covering a ward like yours is tough enough. 2 people is just insane. I cannot imagine the stress you're going through. Just wanted to thank you for what you do. I couldn't do it. If you need time out for your own mental health, then you should take it. Take care

Leave. Honestly just go. I’ve just started a new job after 9 years in ICU. I didn’t realise how stressed I was until I left, I feel like a new woman! I’m now 9-5 in an office and I laugh when people say it’s busy. It’s a whole new world.

Sometimes I do feel bad when I know they are short staffed and ops are getting cancelled- but it’s the governments fault not mine.

OP, my mental health manager used to say that you can't do our job if you are not ok yourself. I think crying before a shift more than once probably is a sign that you are becoming unwell. Protect your health. Please tell your manager and see your gp.

I sympathize, I’m an RMN and I can completely relate. I think some places are slightly better than others but the whole NHS staffing is in crisis and there simply aren’t enough RMN’s to cover vacancies.

I don’t do nights at the moment but I vividly recall many a night driving along hoping for an accident, ludicrous and awful to feel that fearful of going to work.

I moved in to elderly functional MH which is easier in some respects. A lot of risk still but different and in some respects less stressful compared to my previous female working age acute setting. It’s not for everyone but I do much prefer the patient group and I get hit a lot less frequently.

As an aside 29 beds for an acute MH ward is ridiculous, far too big to safely staff and manage.

I would advise you do look in to moving on, there must be something better than how you are feeling now💐

My grand plan is to see my dses through university and move to part time or bank. I’ve done this 20 years and I can’t face another 20 years.

I've just quit my job after 5 years (in a completely different area), for the same reasons. We were down to a third of the staff, no thanks, just more and more work piled on, and more shit from management. I was the second of six to resign in a week.
I was like you, waking up and crying before going to work.
It's not worth it, honestly. Life's too short. I'm going to be absolutely skint now until I can find something quick, but it was either that or risk my mental health.

. There is nothing I can say to comfort you in such a situation, but love to you.

If you are crying before going into work then, at the very least, you are anxious or depressed about the prospect, sounds like you could call in sick to me with Work related stress/anxiety.
How long will you keep showing up for before you are seriously suffering? Do you drive to work praying for an accident, nothing too serious, just enough to give you time away?
I hope you can find a different job ASAP.

I felt exactly the same in maternity. And it is only getting worse.

I honestly don't think the gen public have any idea how bad and how dangerous it is.

I have left now and won't be returning.

I'm out of inpatients now OP but I haven't forgotten those days
I look back and think of 21 year old me in charge of a 25 bedded male acute ward (in a hospital so old and out of date it's a listed building). I can't believe the level of responsibility on my shoulders at the time.
Friends always told me that when I became a parent it would be the hardest job I ever did. But it turns out this is a breeze in comparison.
Is it a standalone ward or do you have others you can call on for support and advice during the night?

I feel your pain . I've been in a situation before where there were two carers for forty + residents on two floors in a care home . We have been short staffed multiple times due to sickness levels and no agency being ordered . It's frustrating and dangerous for the residents and staff , as the level of care isn't as thorough and people end up off sick due to stress and body pain 🙁

I'm sorry to hear how stressed you are. I'm also an RMN and that staffing level is ridiculous. I'd be filling out a DATIX every time staff/patients are put in danger, which is every shift is that is the usual staffing level. It's unsafe. I've left my permanent post and now do bank for the time being. Much better in many respects.

Yup. I qualified in November and on my very first shift was put in charge of co-ordinating a unit, I shit you not. I was the only permanent member of staff, everyone else was agency. Staffing in my unit (busy inner city maternity unit) is at about 60%. It’s a total shit show. Staff numbers have been cut to the absolute bone which means there is zero slack in the numbers. A few people call in sick and you’ve got an unsafe situation on your hands.

The system is crumbling
Unfortunately you need to report through the channels (datix in Scotland - not sure of English/welsh equivalent) so that you essentially ‘cover yourself’
I would not recommend a career in nursing to anyone.
And ultimately some poor nurse will make a mistake that will cost her her job due to the sheer demand and lack of support she has. People are just hopeful it’s not them.