Crying again before night shift

[Freudiandreams]

I work in a hospital. Usually on with 5 other staff to man a 29 bed acute mental health ward. 2 turned up (including me) yesterday.

If not short, then I’m likely to be sent to another ward which I don’t know, with unpredictable patients that I have responsibility of caring for throughout the night until 830am.

I’m so tired. Everyone’s going off sick with stress. I want to call in sick, but I’m not sick.

I just dread it, been sleeping all day to avoid thinking about it. I usually sleep 2pm after my night shift, but after last nights I’ve literally just woke up

I'm so sorry OP, I honestly don't know what to say. I left clinical around Christmas last year for similar reasons. That and it was soul destroying watching people die without their loved ones there because of super restricted visiting.

No one has a clue how bad it is in healthcare right now. Our trust is in business continuity as of today, discharging anyone who is deemed "safe" to go home. Half the bank AND substantive staff don't want to take on shifts because they were ALL promised double pay in an email from the execs if they could cover the bank holiday then they backtracked completely. We are treated like shit by patients, families, (some of) colleagues and the big bosses and I think we have all had enough of this shit.

Honestly, look after yourself and get signed off if you need to. The NHS (or your hospital) won't collapse because you are unwell. I mean this in the nicest way possible, you are expendable and replaceable in Healthcare and they have contingencies in place for unstaffed wards, even if no one wants to work there.

And also, you ARE sick. Stress is an illness.

I only have sympathy. Nursing is hideously understaffed, and those of us left are just meant to cope.

@CoffeeRunner

I totally know where you're coming from. Until December last year I worked on a 33 bed elderly acute medical ward (a mixture of critically poorly but not for ITU input & dementia patients).

Our staffing was the same. Should be 6 HCAs plus 3/4 trained nurses. We were usually operating on 2 & 2 by the time I left. Like you, if ever our staffing level seemed reasonable staff would be moved elsewhere.

My breaking point was a shift with 16 patients to myself, every one with quite high needs (help with toileting, mobilising, dressing, eating etc) and I had to somehow try to do all that whilst also stopping a wandering dementia patient (not her fault I know) from going around the bays pulling out everyone's cannulas. Many with drips attached. She thought they were security tags to stop people leaving the ward.

And yet you come on MN & people will be contacting PALS because nobody answered the ward phone for 20 mins. Outside of 8.30 to 4 Monday to Friday HCAs & nurses were also the only people to answer the phone......

Sounds like a similar nightshift in the hospice where I used to work, although we were reasonably well staffed some patients would take 4 nurses to turn/ move. We had agitated patients almost falling out of bed, severely ill patients whose IV's were schedule. I got to the point where I was so anxious I just quit. never looked back.

I think all the posters on this thread ought to write to the home office and the press.

It's a massive trend. If there is any spare time at work, reduce the workers and reduce the hours. Part of the endless squeeze of business values in a world made of living things. It's time to speak up.

I left the wards thirty years ago after a shift with two of us on an acute medical ward. Families were (rightly) complaining that their family members were being left lying in wet beds. They were. But when you've got four people in wet beds and two nurses, its going to be an hour before you get to number four.
I'm now in general practice and we have three staff with over 100 years experience between them retitring this month. Only one has been replaced.
You do what's best for you.

So sorry op. Sending you

I know you are saying that you are not sick but your mental health is just as important as your physical health. If you were coughing and sneezing and felt achy then they are virus symptoms and you’d take time off. Sleeping more and crying more are symptoms of low mood. Understandable low mood but low mood nonetheless. You know well how that could go if something doesn’t change.

I’ve worked in mental health services, including acute wards. It’s tough work and needs people to be in good mental health themselves in order to manage the emotionally draining demands of the job. If you keep going something will eventually give. You might make a mistake. You certainly won’t be at your best.

If you can’t speak to your GP for yourself and your own wellbeing then do it for the patients you serve. I mean this kindly. It’s hard to give ourselves permission to take time off or seek help when we work in caring professions. So, do it for them. It’s what you’d advise patients to do.

I know you will feel guilty for leaving colleagues in the lurch but that isn’t your responsibility- you can’t plug the gaps in the system on your own. You are not responsible for funding the nhs, deciding how to distribute funds and how to staff a ward. The only thing you are responsible for is doing your job, the best you can in the situation you are in and to look after yourself well enough so that you can do it. But. There is no amount of self care that can keep you going in this situation. Mental health services are always at the bottom of the funding pile. That’s not your fault. Look after yourself. No one else will. If you do look after yourself you’ll be in a better position to look after your patients.

It might need something like no staff at all available to prompt a critical incident report to flag up the situation as a risk. While there are people just about coping and running the service as best they can it can fly under the radar.

Take care. Best of luck and thank you for all that you do.

Hospital manager here. Staffing levels are terrible throughout the NHS. 1. Staff off sick - covid19 burnout, stress and anxiety due to pressures on them. 2. staff leaving - can't face the ongoing situation and 3. There's not enough recruits coming through.
Colleagues understand if you're not fit for work. If you do go into work, please just do your best and dont beat yourself up x

I'm so sorry to read this op, I am leaving care, just working my notice because I can't stand feeling anxious and stressed and crying every day. Everyday it feels like we are all trying our best but it's not good enough and my heart breaks for the residents.

We lost many staff where I work a few months ago, when they sent letters to unvaccinated staff saying they would be fired by a certain date if they didn't take the vaccination. Only 2 were unvaccinated but others left because the team fell apart.

I am vaccinated and I agree in that everyone should do what they can to protect residents but when we were already understaffed it seemed wrong to fire those who turned up all through covid when there was no replacement waiting to take the job.

We already had unfilled vacancies at that point, and the pressure is enormous.
Management and nurses blame carers for things not getting done, but it feels like we can only do the basics.

When people deteriorate and need more care, the management point tell us we have enough staff legally and to just get on with it.
Reading so many of these posts is depressing, the whole system is broken.

I am leaving care altogether and cannot wait, I just want to enjoy my work again and not have it impact the rest of my life. I'm often too tired and depressed to function on my days off and it's no way to live.

I was called selfish by a colleague (not a carer) for leaving but she doesn't have the same pressure we do.

I plan on writing to my MP and MSP after I've left.
I hope things improve for you OP. I wish more people knew the reality of being understaffed and working in healthcare.

Christ, I remember that. Waking up feeling sick with dread, crying on the bus to work, getting handover from the day staff who looked like they’d been in a war zone and then that moment when they leave and it’s just you, leading a skeleton staff team, managers all tucked up in bed, a long and scary night ahead of you and you just want to run away.
Never, ever again.