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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Window cleaner... Am I overreacting???

91 replies

Whatthehell666 · 13/09/2021 16:17

I started using a window cleaner a couple of months ago on a bi monthly basis.. There's been issues on both occasions they have come and the window cleaner I've dealt with is quite patronising and a bit rude. I sent a polite message saying after two cleans it's best we just leave it there as I didn't want to complain, streaks were left on the windows, sills weren't cleaned and it just felt like a complete waste of money. I'm on rest day today from doing four 12 hour shifts. Was starting to doze off on the sofa and heard my phone vibrate, it was him.. I didn't want confrontation so didn't pick up. Half an hour later he is outside ringing my doorbell and knocking on my windows. Then all of a sudden he brings out his ladder and starts cleaning the windows.. I'm inside the house and haven't answered.. He's then let himself in via the neighbours side access and is in my garden. I didn't give him permission to do any of this. I'm sat in my house a bit scared and know he's probably giving me a free clean as he doesn't want me complaining etc. But the fact is I was very polite when terminating the service and its my choice to.. Am I overeating to feel like he's crossed a line by just suddenly turning up to my property??..

OP posts:

NumberTheory · 13/09/2021 18:59

I think you are overreacting, yes. I do think he's over stepped a little by actually rewashing your windows before speaking to you, but given he called and knocked first I think that's something to roll your eyes at, not get upset at. I see why, with your history, you are found it hard to deal with, though.

From his perspective it sounds like he thought he was putting things right because you hadn't been happy. That's a fairly normal thing for a service provider to try and do. I think he's overstepping a little bit by rewashing your windows without having got through to you first, it's not something that's caused real harm (though, obviously, annoying that it's made them look worse than even the previous poor wash). He seems to have no idea his standards for window cleaning don't seem to even approach your own.

The reasonable thing to have done would have been to pick up the phone when he called or to have stepped outside when he came round and reiterated what you wanted - to terminate your agreement with him and not have him come round again. Your proposed text response sounds good.

Seemssounfair · 13/09/2021 19:02

The only thing the guy did was a shoddy job which he has tried to put right with a complementary clean to try to protect his reputation.

You are way over reacting to a normal everyday situation.

How you you feel if your dd's nursery left you a text to say your dd couldn't come back to nursery due to an incident, then refused to answer your calls or their door when you came to find out why? People need to communicate.

How did the world manage before there were mobile phones to hide behind?

honeygriff · 13/09/2021 19:18

Loving the middle class disdain for window cleaners,"Glorified burglars". How very upstairs downstairs of you. I do hope you have a tradesmen's entrance they can use so you can make sure they know you are several cut's above them. Sorry your window cleaner is a bit crap OP. There is a nice lady window cleaner in my area maybe worth looking to see if there's one in yours.

Thethreecs · 13/09/2021 19:34

Oh yikes he was very cheeky. You were prob just embarrassed to tell him he does a rubbish job. I probably wouldn't have answered either, I don't like telling people they're not going at something and I find when you lie they come up with all sorts of excuses to continue.

On a side note, when we moved here I only had a couple of small children and this elderly man knocked, said he was the local window cleaner and he did everyone's windows, he had a bucket, squeegee and a bike with a ladder on the side. Jesus the first wash was terrible, I gave him the benefit of the doubt thinking it was a once off but there was a few more bad times, he use to come in and get hot water and a dishwasher tablet, he never threw the water away, carried it to the next house, obviously someone who wasn't in but got them done. One time I caught him pocketing some dishwasher tablets. I told him that I'd ring him when I wanted him again, I didn't and a few weeks later he practically chased me down the street with his ladder banging off the side of his bike shouting when I wanted my windows done. I actually did one of those little runs where your trying to walk fast but it turns into a run.

Pop him a text and remind him you don't want your windows done, say it's not affordable right now or something. You'll only end up having to get them re done.

SturminsterNewton · 13/09/2021 19:45

he's forcibly cleaned my windows

err, no he didn't.

GreyhoundG1rl · 13/09/2021 19:52

@SturminsterNewton

he's forcibly cleaned my windows

err, no he didn't.

Did op actually say this?? Op, you were sitting inside your house and refusing to answer your phone, watching him do it! Such unnecessary drama.

NumberTheory · 13/09/2021 20:00

@GreyhoundG1rl

Did op actually say this??
Yes, she did. See her Mon 13-Sep-21 16:32:24 post.

GreyhoundG1rl · 13/09/2021 20:01

[quote NumberTheory]@GreyhoundG1rl

Did op actually say this??
Yes, she did. See her Mon 13-Sep-21 16:32:24 post.[/quote]
🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️
Op, come on...

Bluntness100 · 13/09/2021 20:09

Op I won’t pile on, but what do you mean yoire vulnerable? All you’ve said is you don’t like confrontation, which many of us don’t. Is there additional needs that meant you can’t open the door, or mental illness?

People don’t understand why you hid scared in your house, but maybe if you explained they would.

Bluntness100 · 13/09/2021 20:16

Op, also are you Getting some help from your doctor? It might be worth giving them a call? What peoole are highlighting is your behaviour is concerning,too scared to answer the phone or the door, to scared to deal with an every day interaction of simply speaking to the window cleaner. If you’re not getting help it might be worth a call?

babouchette · 13/09/2021 20:21

God, I'm with you OP. What was he playing at turning up unannounced and bitching to your neighbours?! It's confrontational bordering on aggressive. He can get self righteous all he wants but he's being a bully. I hope he leaves you alone from now on.

Honeymare · 13/09/2021 20:26

I don't think the op needs help. She has met the window cleaner, found him rude and patronising. She lives alone with her child. I am not confrontation averse but do remember having an issue with a man once and the fact that they know your property and that there is no man around can be unsettling.

He sounds like an absolute pillock, particularly by how he was speaking to your neighbour. We had painters in who did a shoddy job and were horrible rude. I refused to give a reference or follow up work, they were unpleasant about it. I was a little worried but knew the fact that I live with another adult reassured me.

TaraR2020 · 13/09/2021 21:20

Hi op, I completely understand why you didn't feel able to confront him and wondered if you'd experienced an abusive relationship in the past before I saw your last post.

Don't let anyone shame you into not acting differently, you chose a course of action to preserve your safety and sense of safety and that's justified.

There are all sorts of replies you can send him, he trespassed after all but for your peace of mind send whichever reply you feel most comfortable with just make sure its firm and final, and that he's not to come back.

Original poster

Whatthehell666 · 13/09/2021 21:28

@TaraR2020

Hi op, I completely understand why you didn't feel able to confront him and wondered if you'd experienced an abusive relationship in the past before I saw your last post.

Don't let anyone shame you into not acting differently, you chose a course of action to preserve your safety and sense of safety and that's justified.

Thank you, that's how I felt.. I don't need any help from my GP to those making inference that I have underlying MH issues for not opening the door. I'm perfectly capable of opening the door to people, however said window cleaner is very forthright and kept badgering me when I made polite complaints about the standard of work. I can't afford to waste money like most people, I don't personally have the time to upkeep the windows and thought by paying him the job would get done and I didn't have to think about it. I was very clear in my message to him about terminating the service. There was no ambiguity on my part. However, it's the fact he phoned me after I sent that message and then rocked up and just started cleaning and went in my garden, I felt intimidated because his tone when talking about me to the neighbour wasn't a nice one. Anyway, I've since written to him and said as reiterated before, I'd like to terminate the use of your window cleaning service, thanks.

OP posts:

WhatAShilohPitt · 13/09/2021 22:55

You didn’t want to answer the door and that’s entirely up to you: you had good reason. I wouldn’t have opened it either. He’s been a CF turning up without your consent and going into your property so he’s just wasted his time and won’t get paid.

windthatbobbin · 14/09/2021 00:39

OP, I've thought you were completely reasonable in your dealings with this bellend from the beginning, and patient and articulate with the (too) many people on this thread who didn't read half of what you had written.

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