I want him belongings out my home!

[lalalh]

I split up with my ex over 4 months ago because he was vile, narcissistic and emotionally/financially abusive. He spent thousands on my credit cards and didn’t contribute to bills/rent etc despite earning a six figure salary. He also cheated on me with escorts, sugarbabies and a dominatrix. He lived in my flat which I own, he has nowhere so he moved back into his parents house.
When he moved in he brought all his possessions with him - furniture etc and my loft is completely full of all his stuff. I want it gone - I don’t want any trace left of him here. He had booked a removal van (allegedly) but cancelled the day before he was due to come - he has now done this 3 times. I have given him a deadline (in writing) of the end of this month to collect his things - he thinks I am being unreasonable and hostile.
At this rate I can’t see him collecting all his stuff by the end of the month and I don’t have a garden/shed/garage I can put it all in. I would even book a removal van myself, load it up and send them to his address to dump it there but he has refused to give me the address for forwarding mail etc. At this rate I’m tempted to just dump it all outside but I don’t know if there are implications on me if I do that?
AIBU for wanting to just bin it all?! Some of it is quite expensive furniture

Send him a final message saying that if his stuff is not collected by a certain date it will all be placed outside. If it is not collected from outside within 24 hrs it will all go to the dump/house clearance company.

A friend in a similar position hired a removal firm, had them take the things to a storage unit, paid the first month's storage and told him if items were not claimed by him (she gave him the access code and would receive a text alert if it was used) they'd be disposed of.

He came on the very last day, without ever replying to the email.

I know you've spent a lot on him already, but this may sort it.

I’d just tell him he’s had longer than rental tenants get notice, Saturday date x everything is on the nature strip.

Tell him he has till the end of the week or you are putting everything outside with a sign saying 'free to a good home'. Arsehole.

Sell them and help pay off some of the credit card debt or give them away. You've given him loads of time

I don’t see how it can be a crime when you’ve been in contact a number of times and allowed him plenty of opportunity. You could phrase it ‘youve canceled movers 3 times now so I regard your belongings as having been abandoned. However if you change your mind I won’t put them out on the nature strip until Saturday the x. Obviously you will have to prearrange with me if you do want to collect to make sure I’ll be here.

Email him one more time giving him an end date and telling him that you will consider that he gives up all claim unless collected by this date. Keep a record of this email/text. After that date keep anything you like and sell/dump the rest. If he complains, tell him you used the money to cover his storage costs for the last 4 months!

He’s being difficult on purpose. Hey his stuff out.

@Yummypumpkin

A friend in a similar position hired a removal firm, had them take the things to a storage unit, paid the first month's storage and told him if items were not claimed by him (she gave him the access code and would receive a text alert if it was used) they'd be disposed of.

He came on the very last day, without ever replying to the email.

I know you've spent a lot on him already, but this may sort it.

This isn't a bad idea..

What is the legal situation though? Narcissists don't like being thwarted and do like to use the law to torture people who have thwarted them.

This looks helpful in terms of making that less likely. It's aimed at landlords but I think Tort law applies to all.

He's lucky to have had more than a couple of weeks to sort himself out, absolutely NBU to shift it all out onto the side of the road after several months!

Bit of advice on how to handle it so you're covered legally: www.thesheriffsoffice.com/articles/abandoned-items

Do you have space outside where you can leave the stuff without getting in trouble for fly-tipping/obstructing the pavement?

Don't give another inch to this man. Make your ultimatum and stick to it. All of his stuff is out on X date, no exceptions for any reason. I would also not allow him inside to get everything. Place it all outside.

@Gliblet no I don’t have any outside space, so it would just be left on the pavement. And there’s a huge amount of stuff including massive armchairs, a drinks cabinet, a big table etc. So I’m not really in a position to just dump it out there (no matter how tempted I am)

Sell it on eBay?

If he owes you money I'd sell it.

If you have a local freecycle site those are great for getting rid of things without them being dumped.
Agree. Give him a deadline, then post the stuff up online.
Good luck.

Any of it worth selling?

Sell the bits that are worth anything to recoup unpaid bills that he owes you.

Claim he told you over the phone that it was yours to dispose of ad he couldn't be arse with organising it.

Let him prove otherwise.

Twat.

Sell it!

Send him an email or text and keep it for record.

"due to the three occasions over the last x number or weeks, you have arranged for, but not collected your property I am now giving you notice that unless you property is collected by the following date (insert) I will be disposing of it in whatever manor I decide. To confirm the address where your property is stored is xxxx and you can contact me (insert name and number)

Then one week before the deadline

" pleased be advised I have a buyer for your property who is due to collect on (the day after the notice period runs out) if you do not contact me to arrange collection (as per details provided on last correspondence) by this date your property will no longer will no longer be stored at this address and I can provide you with no further assistance"

Sincerely yours

( You absolute cunt) lol - maybe leave the last bit out

[quote lalalh]@Gliblet no I don’t have any outside space, so it would just be left on the pavement. And there’s a huge amount of stuff including massive armchairs, a drinks cabinet, a big table etc. So I’m not really in a position to just dump it out there (no matter how tempted I am)[/quote]
In that case either sell it, or have a look around locally for charities that sell furniture - we have a couple near us who will come in a van and collect the stuff, especially if you've got a few bits to donate.

I'd just text him and say "I'm assuming you no longer want any of this furniture as you haven't given me a forwarding address or arranged collection.
I've arranged a removal company to collect on x date so please ensure you've removed anything you want prior to that date."

Then book the removal company and pay for disposal if you can afford it.

@Sleepyquest

Sell them and help pay off some of the credit card debt or give them away. You've given him loads of time

this 🎉

Tell him that despite previous requests he has not arranged collection of his items. Therefore you are giving him final notice of seven days to collect it all, after which he relinquishes ownership and you will dispose of everything as you see fit.

If he does nothing, phone your local auction house and get them to sell it for you. They can usually arrange a collection service too.

Give him a final date to arrange collection by & let him know that if not collected by 6pm (or whatever specific time suits you) on that date you'll consider them abandoned after that date and will be selling them & keeping the money to go towards the credit card debts he has left you with

www.propertyinvestmentproject.co.uk/blog/my-tenant-left-belongings-in-the-property/

www.landlordvision.co.uk/blog/tenant-leaves-belongings-behind/

The Tort explained in a slightly more user friendly version

@lalalh you've done most of it. Now you can move to the "Shift it or I sell it and keep the money" bit