School Transport. Wh was unreasonable?

IHaveNoOneToTalkTo · 2021-09-13T10:47:53+00:00

I'm bracing myself to be told that I am unreasonable. My daughter has complex needs and goes to a specialist school. She gets picked up by school transport in the mornings and afternoons as her school is out of the borough. This morning the bus rang me at 7.23 to let me know that they would be arriving in 20 minutes, they called again at 7:36 ( very particular, I know but this is relevant) to tell me that they are outside. I live in a flat on the top floor and have to walk down 3 big flights of stairs. When I got to the bus it was 7:40. They gave me a huge lecture about how I was 3 minutes late even though I was on time and on top of that there was no good morning or anything to my 6 year old daughter and I just found it all really rude. They haven't taken in to consideration my daughters condition. She has limited speech, understanding and sensory issues and that can sometimes delay us by a few minutes in the morning as she doesn't like putting her uniform on, getting dressed having her teeth brushed etc. I just felt like they lacked empathy and understanding and on top of that I was on time. AIBU?

Seeline · 13/09/2021 11:49

What is the 'normal' time for the bus to arrive?

Doggiedementia · 13/09/2021 11:51

Can your downstairs for say 7.35 with her coat etc on and wait for the bus?

Kiduknot · 13/09/2021 11:52

You would have been there at 7.43 as they said. Point that out and then don’t take it to heart.

Original poster

IHaveNoOneToTalkTo · 13/09/2021 11:52

There is no actual time but they rang me at 7:23 telling me they would be 20 minutes, when I got to the bus it was 7:40. They arrived earlier than they told me and then lectured me about being late.

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Original poster

IHaveNoOneToTalkTo · 13/09/2021 11:53

@Doggiedementia

Can your downstairs for say 7.35 with her coat etc on and wait for the bus?

I will do that from now on

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x2boys · 13/09/2021 11:54

Is LEA transport or a taxi service the LEA? are using, my son also goes to a special school he always has, throughout his primary school years we have a succession of different taxi firms and passenger assistants, some good some not so good and some worse then useless
My son has just moved up to high school and this year for the first time he has been allocated Actual Lea transport, and the difference in them is amazing they ares so professional

namechange30455 · 13/09/2021 11:54

Is there a specific time you're meant to be outside by, or do they call and tell you each morning?

I'd probably have aimed to be outside 15 mins after they said 20 mins, so YANBU to not have been there they arrived 13 mins later.

Doggiedementia · 13/09/2021 11:54

I do think they were unfair by the way but in future I’d just plan to be there a few minutes earlier than they say in case of quicker traffic or whatever.

Original poster

IHaveNoOneToTalkTo · 13/09/2021 11:57

@x2boys

Is LEA transport or a taxi service the LEA? are using, my son also goes to a special school he always has, throughout his primary school years we have a succession of different taxi firms and passenger assistants, some good some not so good and some worse then useless My son has just moved up to high school and this year for the first time he has been allocated Actual Lea transport, and the difference in them is amazing they ares so professional

It's provided by the LA. Last year's transport was really good and we loved our bus driver and escort, I wish it could have stayed the same but its a new driver and two new escorts.

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x2boys · 13/09/2021 11:57

@namechange30455

Is there a specific time you're meant to be outside by, or do they call and tell you each morning?

I'd probably have aimed to be outside 15 mins after they said 20 mins, so YANBU to not have been there they arrived 13 mins later.

I dont know about the Op, s child, but ime, my son gets incredibly anxious if hes waiting around, its a matter of timing, as as soon as hes in his uniform he wants to be off.

Original poster

IHaveNoOneToTalkTo · 13/09/2021 11:58

@Doggiedementia

I do think they were unfair by the way but in future I’d just plan to be there a few minutes earlier than they say in case of quicker traffic or whatever.

That's something I will definitely try and do, it is hard though as some mornings can be unpredictable.

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trumpisagit · 13/09/2021 12:01

Hmmm. This morning you weren't I the wrong, but imagine if they had to wait for every child.

Generally speaking I think you should be outside waiting 5 min before you are expecting them to arrive.

Elephantsparade · 13/09/2021 12:03

I think dont take it to heart. They are probably stressed with the new route and trying to establish themselves. You will be stressed trying to get out on time as twenty minutes notice is quite short (in that i know you must have had a rough idea what to aim for but not an exact minute) i dont know what you are supposed to do if a chd with complex needs, needs a sudden unplanned nappy change something.
Hooefully you will buikd a rapport soon enough

JustSayingItHowItIs · 13/09/2021 12:03

Another one who thinks you should be down there waiting. What a faff having to ring everyone.

Original poster

IHaveNoOneToTalkTo · 13/09/2021 12:07

@JustSayingItHowItIs

Another one who thinks you should be down there waiting. What a faff having to ring everyone.

They ring everyone anyway, it's the procedure

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Original poster

IHaveNoOneToTalkTo · 13/09/2021 12:09

@Elephantsparade

I think dont take it to heart. They are probably stressed with the new route and trying to establish themselves. You will be stressed trying to get out on time as twenty minutes notice is quite short (in that i know you must have had a rough idea what to aim for but not an exact minute) i dont know what you are supposed to do if a chd with complex needs, needs a sudden unplanned nappy change something. Hooefully you will buikd a rapport soon enough

This is the thing, things do come up and I am always ready on time but today was a difficult morning, Mondays usually are because of the break at the weekend.

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TakeYourFinalPosition · 13/09/2021 12:11

My instinctive response is that they should be kinder, but logically, they don’t have time to wait for every child - and almost everyone, if not everyone, they pick up is going to have additional needs. Some of those kids might have found waiting for your daughter difficult.

A friend has this with her son. Unfortunately the LA are quite strict and won’t wait for more than 2 minutes - so if he has a meltdown or they aren’t ready for whatever reason, the transport leaves and my friend has to find a way to get her child there. It doesn’t happen often, but often enough that her job is not happy… it’s a nightmare for her, and he’s been dropped at mine rather than going to school a few times as a result, as she can’t risk being late to get him there.

Waiting downstairs is a good idea, if that’s possible for you both, but I appreciate mornings are tough

melj1213 · 13/09/2021 12:12

You say there is no "actual time" but surely there is some sort of schedule to ensure they get to school on time? Or do they just call you every day and give you an ETA?

Since they said they would be there in 20 minutes, surely when they lectured you for being "late" 13 minutes later you could have just pointed out that they were the ones who told you they would be 20 minutes and therefore you were not late to have planned your arrival for the time they informed you of.

Original poster

IHaveNoOneToTalkTo · 13/09/2021 12:14

@TakeYourFinalPosition

My instinctive response is that they should be kinder, but logically, they don’t have time to wait for every child - and almost everyone, if not everyone, they pick up is going to have additional needs. Some of those kids might have found waiting for your daughter difficult.

A friend has this with her son. Unfortunately the LA are quite strict and won’t wait for more than 2 minutes - so if he has a meltdown or they aren’t ready for whatever reason, the transport leaves and my friend has to find a way to get her child there. It doesn’t happen often, but often enough that her job is not happy… it’s a nightmare for her, and he’s been dropped at mine rather than going to school a few times as a result, as she can’t risk being late to get him there.

Waiting downstairs is a good idea, if that’s possible for you both, but I appreciate mornings are tough

I get what you're saying but I was actually 3 minutes early. They were due to arrive at 7:43 and I was there at 7:40

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loka · 13/09/2021 12:14

Were there other children in the bus already?I am asking as some can get quite restless if a bus stops/waits so that makes a few minutes waiting more difficult.

Original poster

IHaveNoOneToTalkTo · 13/09/2021 12:15

@melj1213

You say there is no "actual time" but surely there is some sort of schedule to ensure they get to school on time? Or do they just call you every day and give you an ETA?

Since they said they would be there in 20 minutes, surely when they lectured you for being "late" 13 minutes later you could have just pointed out that they were the ones who told you they would be 20 minutes and therefore you were not late to have planned your arrival for the time they informed you of.

Thats exactly it, no set time just an ETA everyday, although it is usually around the same time, give or take 5/10 minutes.

I pointed it out and they said "oh, really?"

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rookiemere · 13/09/2021 12:16

YANBU at all.
I used to travel a lot with work and get very early morning cabs. Often they'd arrive 15 minutes early and contact me and as it was just a ring with no message, I'd then have to throw myself together and get out at breakneck speed so they didn't go away, which was fun at 5.00am.

I think in this case if they phone you up again question what they say, but in any event treat a 20 minute warning as a 10 minute one.

Original poster

IHaveNoOneToTalkTo · 13/09/2021 12:16

@loka

Were there other children in the bus already?I am asking as some can get quite restless if a bus stops/waits so that makes a few minutes waiting more difficult.

My daughter is one of of first picked up, I think there was one other child already on the bus

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Original poster

IHaveNoOneToTalkTo · 13/09/2021 12:19

I definitely will be waiting downstairs from now on, I think that seems like the easiest option for everyone. Thanks everyone

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GoWalkabout · 13/09/2021 12:19

I think they rang to make sure you would be outside waiting to smooth the journey for everyone. They probably have to rule with an iron fist or it would be chaos but I am sure you will develop a good relationship with them just don't get barriers up.