To wonder why people wade in on threads that clearly they can’t contribute to?

[wannagotoaustralia]

Does anyone know what I mean? A thread will say something like ‘Dog owners - I need your help’ and someone will post to say ‘well I’ve never owned a dog but I think …’

Or you get something like ‘AIBU to think Friends is really misogynistic’ and someone replies with ‘don’t know - never seen it.’ Or ‘what would you buy an eight year old boy for Christmas.’ ‘Nothing, I only know one boy and he’s two.’ Sometimes they’ll admit ‘so that doesn’t really help.’ So what’s the point? Are people just that desperate for attention?

It’s not to aid sinking threads either, it happens even on busy threads that a lot of people are enjoying.

So - AIBU to ask if you’ve noticed this and AIBU to think it’s really annoying?

I find it odd when people come onto a thread 16 pages in with
"I haven't RTFT, but have you tried (insert most blindingly obvious suggestion that was covered in the first three responses)"

This sort of thing is why the SN topics are “hidden” and don’t appear in Active Convos, isn’t it? Because someone would post about their autistic child’s restricted eating or whatever, and some twat with no experience of ASD would roll up and say “well MY child loves their veggies! You need to be more strict! No healthy child ever starved themselves and there were no picky eaters in my day!”

@Annoyedanddissapointed I agree that that is the case with some responses, but a lot of them were along the lines of "Well women in America manage it so you could as well". The OP had showed no interest in going back to work before her leave was due to end, she wanted to know if she was being treated unfairly.

If you're dishing out legal advice (which is what the OP was asking for!), you should probably clarify which country your "advice" applies to.

Amazon actually email you asking the question.

Read a thread yesterday where someone did make a helpful comment and the OP kicked off because it wasn't what she had specifically asked, which changed the tone of the thread somewhat.

So annoying!

Plus…’following’

Don’t forget the posters that post repetitively saying the same thing.

They appear to want everyone else to agree with their view on an issue, and they are going to keep saying it again and again and again and again and again…

It never works of course and usually kills a good thread.

This applies a lot to political discussion, the 'trans widows gang', and more recently anything SIDS related. Destroying intelligent discussion regularly. Such a shame.

Say your bit and leave it. Discuss points raised that are connected to the topic. Fine.

Bang on and on and on tediously. Not fine.

I think some people think everything is addressed to them personally.

I think with Amazon questions you don't have to be stupid or a technophobe to think this. You receive an email in which you are being directly asked a question. It's perfectly normal to reply a direct question with a direct answer. The responses would be perfectly sensible if replying just meant an email went to the asker. It's only Amazons sneaky behind-the-scenes software publishing the answer on their site that contextualises the response in such a way as to make the respondent look gormless.

I don’t think they’re sneaky.

Clicking their email launches a website page immediately showing a text box. When you type your answer, before publication you get a confirmation along the lines of “Your comments will be published with the username JBloggs”

You can back out at any stage.

This reminds me of something I've needed to get off my chest for years.

I knew one woman on FB from back in the day who ALWAYS shared with us in her comments that she was off to do x and would be back to read the OP properly and reply. It was a grande version of "Didn't want to read and run" (She did that too).
It was a group and amongst people commenting away, she'd grace the thread with her "I just took 5 seconds to look at my computer, I'm leaving with my daughter/son to ride a bike/take a walk/pick flowers/mow the lawn/do a bake sale/chair a meeting with the President of Y. I'll be back shortly to reply. [No response from anyone]

Then...

'Right I'm back from my rather oh so busy day and I've now had time to sit with a cuppa and ponder over your question [which had gotten tons of comments already and no one seemed to notice her painful absence]. Now read my priceless gem of a comment...'

Sometimes, she'd write what others have already written. Other times, she'd have something good to add but it always ticked me off that she had to announce her ever-so busy life before and after, as if anyone asked or cared and she took the threads as if they're her personal Q and A sessions. Didn't help that she had a few minions in their clique who lapped up her every word but most people never responded to her self-important soliloquy. She'd been one of the oldest members so seemed like she'd appointed herself the guru of information and president of comments in the group.

And Breathe! I feel better.

Sorry, OP, can't be of any help to your dh problem. Mine is a humble cyclist! You can get your ducks in a row though.

The ones which really get on my nerves are when some troll completely ignores the actual question being asked or debated. Instead they deliberately de-contextualise a word or phrase that the OP or a previous poster has used in their discussion. They then wade in to deliberately attempt to waylay the discussion with an accusation of "thats ageist/racist/homophobic" or whatever.

These are usually people with a grasshopper mentality who lack the facility to debate any subject in a balanced manner.

Just wanted to add that i have also nothing to add really.

The worst is when you post a proven fact with links and everything and someone still tries to tell you it's wrong in a really sneering way and then their "mate" comes to join in.

@TheCheeseBadge

I remember a thread where the OP was quite clearly experiencing discrimination while she was on Maternity Leave.

The first 20 or so posts were all of the same ilk: "well you decided to have a baby, why should the employer accommodate your maternity leave", "it is possible to go back to work 2 weeks after you've had a baby, you know". None of them had any idea that maternity rights are protected by law, or seemingly that we are not in 1980 any more. I was utterly gobsmacked to witness that attitude on a parenting site - these were women that were commenting, perfectly happy for a woman to continue to be discriminated against because her "poor" employer has to keep her job open for her while she has the gall to have a baby.

Thankfully some people who talked sense came on and the OP ended up getting some actual good advice.

It's the same with 90% of child maintenance threads. OP will reveal her ex makes 6 figures and should she request an increase to reflect that?

Cue huge pile on of hard scrabble mums who managed to survive on a fiver a week from their feckless exes and anyone who needs more than that is somehow 'greedy'.

@SquirryTheSquirrel

If your thread is in AIBU or Chat I think it's reasonable to expect anyone might chip in with an opinion - you can ignore posters whose experience isn't relevant.

If you post in a more specialist topic, you are less likely to get random opinions, so my advice would be to try to find a topic matching your query or the issue you want to discuss.

But this doesn't stop people!

I post on the Doghouse board...a board solely about dogs/dog ownership etc. I'm always surprised at the number of people who take the time to come into a dog specific board just to leave a comment about how much they dislike dogs and that they don't understand why anyone would have one as a pet. What are they gaining from that?!

The weight threads annoy me.
Someone explains that they're doing all the right things but struggling with losing weight. Poster comes along and details how they've managed to stay the same weight since they were 18 and didn't put on any excess weight in pregnancy or menopause, don't watch what they eat, don't really exercise but are just really 'lucky' to be slim.
Great. Super helpful.

It's not something I could get worked up about OP.

i am laughing out loud at this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

especially the "didn't want to read and run" thing .... who gives a shiny if someone's read and ran?! would people otherwise just read the message and get to the last full stop and just rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrun out of the room/house/continent etc etc.

i love this kind of thread. (fyi)

i must admit that I'm not keen on the sanctimonious posters, for example some poor soul posts that she's desperate because her 'D'H is treating her badly in some way, and then someone posts
'well I wouldn't let him treat me like that', or
'well what did you expect if you married someone like him?'

@simitra

The ones which really get on my nerves are when some troll completely ignores the actual question being asked or debated. Instead they deliberately de-contextualise a word or phrase that the OP or a previous poster has used in their discussion. They then wade in to deliberately attempt to waylay the discussion with an accusation of "thats ageist/racist/homophobic" or whatever.

These are usually people with a grasshopper mentality who lack the facility to debate any subject in a balanced manner.

I rolled my eyes so hard at this sometimes I considered booking an optician check up...

@RedskyThisNight

My particular gripe is parents of toddlers wading in on teenagers threads.

If a poster says that (e.g.) their teenager refuses to brush their teeth, it's rather missing the point to tell us all that your 4 year old can do this.

Haha. I love these posters. 'Surely if my 13 week old goes to bed without complaint, your 5 year old can! You just need to be firm!'

@barbrahunter

i must admit that I'm not keen on the sanctimonious posters, for example some poor soul posts that she's desperate because her 'D'H is treating her badly in some way, and then someone posts 'well I wouldn't let him treat me like that', or 'well what did you expect if you married someone like him?'

Yes there's always one who chimes in with 'why did you marry a man child OP my husband would never dream of setting the dishes beside the dishwasher'

@Threewheeler1

The weight threads annoy me. Someone explains that they're doing all the right things but struggling with losing weight. Poster comes along and details how they've managed to stay the same weight since they were 18 and didn't put on any excess weight in pregnancy or menopause, don't watch what they eat, don't really exercise but are just really 'lucky' to be slim. Great. Super helpful.

There's always someone too who says 'eat less, move more, it really is that simple' IS IT AYE

^My particular gripe is parents of toddlers wading in on teenagers threads.*

If a poster says that (e.g.) their teenager refuses to brush their teeth, it's rather missing the point to tell us all that your 4 year old can do this.

OMG! yes!

I remember posting on a teens thread once - a kind of “survivors of teens” thread - that my then 16 year old DD’s bedroom was a complete skip and I was completely fed up with it

Lots of helpful posts from parents of 3 year olds who make tidying up a game and their kid loves to help mummy clean - yeah, so did mine, when she was 3 .

@barbrahunter

i must admit that I'm not keen on the sanctimonious posters, for example some poor soul posts that she's desperate because her 'D'H is treating her badly in some way, and then someone posts 'well I wouldn't let him treat me like that', or 'well what did you expect if you married someone like him?'

I agree. I also dislike the ‘why haven’t you left the bastard already’ posts as if it’s the simplest thing in the world to financially, emotionally, physically and mentally split up - and then get really ratty with the OP who hasn’t managed to ‘get their ducks in a row’ by the end of the thread. Sometimes it’s like watching vultures descend.