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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To move my one year old's birthday?

53 replies

ThirdElephant · 12/09/2021 14:14

DS is turning one in the next couple of months and unfortunately I can't get the day off work. I can be off work the day after his birthday, and I was wondering whether to just move his birthday, rather than have presents on a day when I'll only be there for an hour in the morning and then an hour before bedtime. Would it be a shame to not do anything on the actual day? We're planning to take him to the zoo as a celebration either at the weekend or the day after his birthday.

DH can get either day off, but I wonder if it'd be better to just hold off and have us both off on the same day for the celebration, albeit a day later that it should be.

AIBU to basically ignore his real birthday in order to celebrate the day later?

OP posts:
Emmelina · 12/09/2021 14:14

Your child won’t know any different! Do it.

Soontobe60 · 12/09/2021 14:15

He’s 1, he will have no idea!

FreeBritnee · 12/09/2021 14:15

It’s fine. I did it one year when my son was four. Moved it a couple of days early so it fell over a weekend and went away to celebrate.

NuffSaidSam · 12/09/2021 14:17

YANBU, do what you want! He's 1 he doesn't care.

SquigglePigs · 12/09/2021 14:18

Go for it. We did the same for DD for her second birthday. Her birthday was a Friday so we just did the whole thing on the Saturday. She still got cake and everyone singing to her at nursery on the Friday.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 12/09/2021 14:38

We frequently did this when ours were young, to a date DH was in the country.

Confused the nursery staff when DD told them it was her 2nd birthday the next day... the month before she turned 2. We had unfortunately chosen the birthday of another child in her group...

Itmustbeaproblemwithyourdoodad · 12/09/2021 14:42

We do this pretty much every year. To the point that our girls are now old enough to know they have a “calendar birthday” (ie their actual birthday, usually celebrated now at nursery/school) and what we call their real birthday, the day we do a special breakfast, presents, party, cake etc. Conveniently on a weekend!

Cocomarine · 12/09/2021 14:43

Don’t even know why this is a question 🤣

trappedsincesundaymorn · 12/09/2021 14:57

I have never been taken out or had a party on my actual birthday. It always happened on the date I was due if it fell on a weekend, or the nearest weekend before the date I was due. My actual birthday is December 25th, my due date was December 20th.

Rainy1252 · 12/09/2021 15:07

No way could I ignore it completely on the actual day! Even if the baby isn’t aware, I would know I was ignoring it and it would feel strange. I’d still do a couple of presents and cards in the morning and maybe some cake after work. It’s ok to then celebrate it properly on another day. I’m sure most of us at all ages have had to celebrate birthdays on different days due to work and school commitments. But I doubt many ignore the actual day itself and still do a little something before and after work/school.

Rainy1252 · 12/09/2021 15:10

Although going by the replies maybe more people ignore it than I realise! Do people not give their child any presents or cards or cake AT ALL on the day itself?

KidsAreMean · 12/09/2021 15:12

Do it! But don't forget to take some photos of Dc on their actual birthday. We did this when DD was little and I was upset later when I realised I hadn't any photos of her on her birthday.

MrsSkylerWhite · 12/09/2021 15:13

Rainy1252

Although going by the replies maybe more people ignore it than I realise! Do people not give their child any presents or cards or cake AT ALL on the day itself?“

A one year old doesn’t care.

AlCalavicci · 12/09/2021 15:16

Dont even most adults do this ? , if my birthday is on a week day I tend to just treat it as a normal day then go out the weekend after

NuffSaidSam · 12/09/2021 15:19

'Do people not give their child any presents or cards or cake AT ALL on the day itself?'

The child is turning one.

A child's first birthday is 100% entirely about the parents. The baby does not give a shit about it's birthday (it doesn't even understand the concept of days and dates let alone it's birthday and whether or not it got a card!).

Hopeful16 · 12/09/2021 15:19

Absolutely I did this with my 2yo and even my 4yo had her birthday on a Thursday but we did her "birthday day" on the following Saturday when we had birthday breakfast, people to visit and birthday tea - the only problem was that she wanted 2 cakes! A small price to pay for losing the working mum guilt!

teenagetantrums · 12/09/2021 15:40

My oldest has an early may birthday...we always moved his birthday to the may bank holiday l was off work then. Once he went to school and learnt about dates we had to stop that but definitely you can move a babies birthday.

NewlyGranny · 12/09/2021 15:48

We did similar for DD2, trappedsincesundaymorn! Like you she was born on Christmas Day. We clebrated a half-birthday from when she was 6 months, because we knew she'd never be able to have a bunch of friends to a party on her actual birthday. I used to make a cake and cut it in half, and put the number of candles plus a chopped off half sized one on it. We had a lot of fun with that and carried it on until she was about 12.

In our house we announce birthday weeks so we can actually party on any day that suits, though family presents and singing are on the day itself of course.

A 1yo will be oblivious to a birthday anyway. They are happiest with a big cardboard box and some wrapping paper!

Rainy1252 · 12/09/2021 15:49

Posters are commenting about doing it with children older than one though. I get doing main celebrations on another day because of work (or school for older children) but nothing at all on the day itself? Not a single card or present? Or cake? I just find the concept of ignoring someone’s birthday entirely, on the day itself, really sad. And even for a one year old, who has no idea, for myself I just couldn’t ignore it.

It’s unfortunate if commitments mean you can’t celebrate properly but I’m not going to ignore the day itself because it’s fallen on an inconvenient day Confused

NewlyGranny · 12/09/2021 15:49

The Queen does it, after all! 😉

Stri · 12/09/2021 15:51

It’s fine! My DS was at nursery on his 1st birthday as I working - he got a special badge and they made a big fuss of him. We had the celebration at the weekend. They really, really don’t notice or care Grin

UpToMyElbowsInDiapers · 12/09/2021 15:53

I’ve always had a “birthday week” vibe going with my eldest (4). We have a party the weekend before her actual birthday, and then have leftover cake and sing again for her at dinner as a nuclear family on her actual birthday.,

NoSquirrels · 12/09/2021 15:54

Do what suits you.

Personally I’d do present on the actual day, and cake for tea, but save the outing to the next day. At one, it’s all exciting whenever- having a present in the morning of your birthday won’t spoil a zoo trip the next day etc etc. I went to work on one of my DC’s first birthdays - it was unavoidable. Just do what suits you.

cravingmilkshake · 12/09/2021 15:55

We moved house on our daughters 1st birthday and didn't get round to any celebration.

Her second birthday fell on a Wednesday and she was in a settling in session at the childminders so had people over on the saturday. They don't know a thing !

iolaus · 12/09/2021 15:58

A friend's husband is in the military - her husband was always home for birthdays and christmases until their daughter started school - of course that may have been because she moved the day (by up to a month) each year

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