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AIBU?

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Original poster

Seriously thinking my little cat would be happier if I rehomed her

93 replies

Coffeetree · 12/09/2021 09:41

I have an indoor-only cat whom I adopted about two years ago. Her previous owners had to rehome her because their baby had an allergy. When I adopted her I had her checked out by a vet and they found she has a heart murmur. She has absolutely no interest in going outside.

She was a shy little thing when first here. Then during lockdown I worked from home for over a year. She really came out of her shell. Affectionate and playful.

I'm back in the office, out of the house for 12 hours a day most days. And she's a wreck. Meowing her head off when I leave, and weeing on everything.

She has toys and windows galore. She was fine with being alone before lockdown but for some reason now it's clearly distressing her.

The wee is becoming a huge problem, taking a lot of my time and money in cleaning mattresses, duvets, cushions, carpets. I refuse to lock her in the bathroom or kitchen all day. I've tried every trick in the book. Orange peel, feeliway, everything.

There's def no medical problem, it's anxious weeing.

Help?

OP posts:
Original poster
Coffeetree · 12/09/2021 12:14

Oh forgot to say she is neutered.

OP posts:
violetbunny · 13/09/2021 02:12

My neighbours cat has anxiety issues, their vet suggested the Royal Canin Calm food which they said has definitely helped:

www.animeddirect.co.uk/royal-canin-calm-adult-dry-cat-food

QuornStarMartini · 13/09/2021 02:22

Did she get left for the same amount of time pre lockdown?

Selttan · 13/09/2021 02:55

I also suggest another cat. Speak to a rescue and see what they might suggest, possibly a kitten would be better than another adult.

Also try Zylkene - it's a natural medication recommended for anxiety in dogs and cats.

Is your work flexible at all? Would they let you wfh some days? Or half days?

Toddlerteaplease · 13/09/2021 03:29

Leave the radio on?

1forAll74 · 13/09/2021 03:49

I would re home your cat. It would be ok to get another cat for some company for the one you have, but not if you are going to be out all day, and then leaving two cats alone.

Avocadoseed · 13/09/2021 03:49

When you originally got her was you usually working 12 hours a day?

Suzi888 · 13/09/2021 04:30

I think rehomeSad to someone who doesn’t work and is home all the time.
Has she been to the vets in case anything medical is going on…

Weatherwax13 · 13/09/2021 04:43

Just to stick my oar in, when we took on a second cat it was a disaster. Hated each other bitterly from the start and right up to the first ones death. So it's not always a good idea.

Original poster
Coffeetree · 13/09/2021 05:46

Thanks for suggestions. Yes when I first got her and until lockdown I was working outside the home the same amount. She was fine with that as long as I played with her before and after work. (As I do now.)

I've I've bought her some more and better toys. ve bought

OP posts:
WTF475878237NC · 13/09/2021 05:52

If you had a dog you'd get a dog walker in so if you'd really like to commit to this kitten I'd suggest going down that route ie arrange for someone to come in daily to check on cat or drop off cat with someone else for the day like I did with doggy day care when I unexpectedly had to go into work for longer days for a time years ago.

QuornStarMartini · 13/09/2021 05:55

12 hours a day is too long to be left. With you then obviously having to sleep, she barely got any company before lockdown and again now. I’m really struggling to understand why you thought your life was suitable for a cat. 😔
Poor baby has already been offloaded by one family and now maybe again. If you rehome her please make it to someone who is actually suited to having a cat.

People often moan that rescue charities are too strict and it’s hard to adopt animals, but this is the reason. It’s very sad.

Original poster
Coffeetree · 13/09/2021 05:59

Thanks guys for the ideas.

No way my work will give me any flexibility lol.

I like the idea of having someone drop in to play with her. Why didn't I think of that?! There are some stay-at-home parents with little kids in my building. Maybe I could give them a little money and they could come in and throw some toys around with her.

I've also got an appointment with vet on Sat to talk about anti anxiety meds.

OP posts:
WTF475878237NC · 13/09/2021 06:04

No problem and good luck.

Original poster
Coffeetree · 13/09/2021 06:05

"You shouldn't have done X" isn't advice. She had multiple charity volunteers inspect my home and interview me before she was given to me, some of whom had snotty things to say about her previous owner and gushed that I had the perfect scenario for her. I've adopted multiple cats over the years and cared for them the rest of their lives. I can't imagine being on the other side now.

OP posts:
Poppins2016 · 13/09/2021 06:09

@Coffeetree

I've thought of getting another kitten! But in my experience adult female cats do not appreciate another cat in the home. Plus my home is only suitable for an indoor-only cat. Hence my adopting her. I'm not sure it would be fair to get a healthy new cat and then confine them indoors.
You could try an adult cat (probably neutered male) who needs to be kept indoors... the rescue centre may be able to assist you with match making!
Original poster
Coffeetree · 13/09/2021 06:12

I've thought about that, I'll keep mulling it over.

OP posts:
QuornStarMartini · 13/09/2021 06:25

I work with rescues. There is no way they would say you had the perfect scenario when you were out at work 12 hours a day, no way.

But I hope you do find a solution that suits the cat as she deserves that. Poor baby.

Stircraazy · 13/09/2021 06:39

Rehome her. She will return to being a loving happy cat in her new home assuming the new owner doesn't go out to work.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 13/09/2021 07:44

Don't use the orange spray,that can make it worse as they spray to cover the smell.

Cystaid daily really helps.

Use an enzyme spray, Wilkos do one, saturate it and leave it to dry.

Aprilx · 13/09/2021 08:03

@LagneyandCasey

Rehoming her is best. You can't guarantee she'll be happier with another cat and then you'll have two to cope with.

Don't feel guilty, your circumstances have changed. I would contact a local rescue or Cats protection who will ensure she's adopted by someone suitable.

You can’t guarantee she will be happier with being homed either. It will fix OPs problem, it won’t fix the cat’s problem.
cricketmum84 · 13/09/2021 08:04

@Coffeetree

Thanks guys for the ideas.

No way my work will give me any flexibility lol.

I like the idea of having someone drop in to play with her. Why didn't I think of that?! There are some stay-at-home parents with little kids in my building. Maybe I could give them a little money and they could come in and throw some toys around with her.

I've also got an appointment with vet on Sat to talk about anti anxiety meds.

That's a lovely idea :) my DD (12) has just done a weeks kitten sitting for a neighbour popping in twice a day to feed them and play with them. They paid her but she would have done it for free!
Wolfiefan · 13/09/2021 08:10

Any chance you could cat proof garden or create a “catio” for her? Somewhere for her to explore and distract her from you being gone?
Cat behaviourist? I’m sure they must exist!
Medication?
Do you feed dry food? That can cause urinary issues too.
Good luck OP. You’re clearly upset and want the best for her. I hope you can figure it out and keep her.

Original poster
Coffeetree · 13/09/2021 08:15

Thanks all, I spent a half hour playing and snuggling with her this AM and left a radio playing.

I've also applied for a new job that's work-from-home. I'm not letting my cat dictate my career trajectory but also I'm not not. Grin

OP posts:
cricketmum84 · 13/09/2021 08:19

Haha @Coffeetree you sound like a lovely dedicated cat slave!

You should come and join us for cat chat in the litter tray topic!

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