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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be so upset

63 replies

OkSpiritualknot · 11/09/2021 21:59

OK. Embarrassed só namechange. So I fell over in the road yesterday, just as I reached the curb, whilst carrying 3 bags of groceries.

Bags went everywhere, ended up flat in the road, with blood on knee and scraped hands.

Sat on curb, shaken, next to 3 men, maybe 30s....who carried on chatting. They were inches behind me.

Am old lady asked if I was okay and in shock I just pointed at the men and "look at these 3 chatting" . She was in disbelief as well.

I had to ask them to help me up, one did. But all the time just acting as if everything was normal. I picked up the bags myself... I got to my front door, only about 10 feet away.. Realised my glasses had fallen off. A man (not one of the 3), saw my glasses, picked them up and gave them to me.

I burst into tears when I got in.

So I've got scraped hands, a bloody knee. Bad neck pains as my head went back when I fell. Also a broken pair of sandles

I haven't been out today... Kinda scared I might trip again. I'm 60. I said to them that they could have least have picked up the groceries, (Thinking, yknow, if they didn't want to touch me.)

How can anyone resist helping someone like that? AIBU for still being upset over 24 hours after it happened?

OP posts:

andweallsingalong · 11/09/2021 23:22

It's a difficult one, I've fallen several times, mostly when much younger, once more recently - why don't most women's shoes have proper grips??? And picked myself up, very embrassed and hoping no one noticed. But also stopped my car and rushed out to pick people up.

So I guess I'd say be kind to yourself and give them the benefit of the doubt - saving you embarrassment or being a bit clueless.

Bortles · 11/09/2021 23:24

How crap a lot of humans are op. Horrible feeling for you. Was once very heavily pregnant on hot train to Birmingham, not one fucker offered me a seat. If only karma were real. X

FeelingBored · 11/09/2021 23:30

How horrible for you, OP. The exact same thing happened to my mum. I think some younger men are really socially awkward and haven't been brought up to think of others. A bit of a different scenario, but I remember going to a birthday party with two colleagues and I said that I was going to get a card/present on the way and they just looked at me gormlessly and said "see you there" and turned up empty handed. I was furious!

LowlyTheWorm · 11/09/2021 23:39

This is outing it any moons ago I fell in the park when carrying my toddler. My older child was under 5. I wasn’t badly hurt but was shaken and grazed and my toddler was hurt too as I’d dropped her onto her poor wee face. I walked a few yards before realising I felt faint. Sat down with my toddler hugged into me and fainted. Came round and no one had come over despite there being at least 4/5 dog walkers in close vicinity. My older child led me across the road and kept his little sister calm while I was out cold.
People can be incredibly selfish.

SamanthaJayne4 · 11/09/2021 23:41

I fell after tripping over an uneven pavement. I was about 60 at the time. A young man and an older one both came and helped me up. I also fell on a big escalator on the underground (I don't live in London). I fell backwards and I was saying I can't get up. I can't get up unaided if I fall. Two people from behind grabbed me by the arms and hauled me up. I was very worried about the machinery at the bottom of the escalator. There are kind people about. Or maybe I just look pathetic! Hope you feel better soon OP. Both falls worsened my knees.

Littlepaws18 · 11/09/2021 23:52

When I was a uni student, I felt really ill on the bus, I asked the bus driver if he would stop as I was almost at the doctors. He refused I tried to sit down and collapsed. When I came to people where stepping over me to get off the bus. As a young woman, Alone in a city, first time living away from home it was horrendous.

Thinking of you op. X

Misty84 · 11/09/2021 23:54

Aww you are not being unreasonable and I’m sorry this happened to you. I like to think most people would help so I’m sorry about those self-centred 3 men. Try and focus on the other 2 people that showed care towards you in that moment.

Runkle · 12/09/2021 00:02

Sorry this happened to you. I fell outside a taxi rank on a busy street when my dog spooked and pulled me. Accidentally let go of him when I fell so not only in agony (later revealed as fractured elbow) but with a clearly scared loose dog. Not on fucker helped or even asked if I was OK - in particular a woman who stared but carried on smoking her fag.

Tigerstigers · 12/09/2021 00:05

Hugs op. It was probably the wrong time wrong place and in another scenario you would have had people jumping up to help. Forget about it, and remember most people do want to help others. X

billy1966 · 12/09/2021 00:06

How absolutely awful and terribly upsetting.

Falling as an adult is a shock, we aren't used to it.

What absolute wasters.

I have never seen that and I live is a city.

The trolleys are great, I had one in my 20's for shopping when I was living in a city centre and didn't need or have a car.
Brilliant, so useful.

I hope you feel better soon.

AnnieSnap · 12/09/2021 00:17

So sorry this happened. I agree, it would be expected they would help you, but remember the woman and the man who picked up your glasses did help. Focus on that, you weren’t abandoned and ignored. A nasty fall is a shock, even more so as we get older. You are bound to be shaken-up. You need a few days to get over it. 💐

CarrotSticks23 · 12/09/2021 00:21

I fell over recently and a couple of people rushed to help me and Im going to be honest and say it just made me feel really embarrassed. I was a bit hurt yes but just bruises and grazes. I didn't really need help, and just wanted to run away. The people were definitely being kind but it made my embarrassing situation feel 10x worse.

Personally I try and judge if help looks needed before rushing in. I wouldn't assume a graze needed help or you would have needed help getting up. I certainly wouldn't step over anyone or leave someone sitting on the floor and sounds like you did need help, so I like to think I would but it's possible they misjudged the severity of your fall. I would give them the benefit of doubt and let it go.

Hopdathelf · 12/09/2021 07:44

What an appalling, depressing thing to say @Hopdathelf - society would break down if everyone thought like you. Thank goodness most of us don't

@YukoandHiro I have to respond to your comment even though quite some time has passed. If you actually read what I wrote, I said that people should have helped - it would be the right and normal thing to do. Sadly I know from experience that many people won’t help and have no feeling of obligation to do so: I was involved in a hit and run a number of years ago and people stopped to film me on the ground rather than help. I was angry at the time but that way lies madness. Had I stayed angry it wouldn’t have helped my recovery, wouldn’t have helped me get back out into the world or to help others when I see they need assistance.

Next time why don’t you read properly before you start with the snarky comments about who makes the world a terrible place.

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