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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave 3yo in park whilst going to the loo?

737 replies

DoormatBob · 11/09/2021 21:55

Not sure if this is an AIBU or more WWYD but was at a rural touristy attraction. When we arrived both DD (3, nearly 4) and me needed the loo. DD went then refused to wait for me and ran out to the play area (toilets were within the play area but not staffed/ticketed).

I told her to wait but she said no and was off, told me she was going on the slides as she legged it away! We've been there before so she knows where she's going.

I had to go to the loo and therefore she played in the park for 2 minutes unsupervised.

AIBU
YES - i should have got her back and made her stay with me.
NO - she is OK for 2 mins, she knows where I am.

What would others do? She is very independent and confident but it's just the safety aspect.

OP posts:
PumpkinKlNG · 11/09/2021 21:57

I wouldn’t have done it.

cunningartificer · 11/09/2021 21:58

She’s three. It only takes a moment for a child to be snatched or to fall off a high slide or run off where you can’t find her. You shouldn’t leave her alone. She needs to learn she can’t run off when you tell her to stay with you. Take her into the loo with you.

Howsyourfather · 11/09/2021 21:58

I consider myself pretty relaxed but I wouldn’t have done that

GertrudeCB · 11/09/2021 21:59

Good god, no.

WorraLiberty · 11/09/2021 21:59

She would've been straight back out the park gates before her bum touched the slide if she did that to me.

'Independence' and 'confidence' don't come into it. She's 3 years old for goodness sake.

KihoBebiluPute · 11/09/2021 22:00

For a 3 yo they should be bolted into the same cubicle as you in the loo. I know this means you don't get privacy for using the loo but that's the price you pay for your child being safe.

0palescent · 11/09/2021 22:00

I'd have gone to get her back before using the loo. And there would've been a stern talking to about ignoring me and running off.

Fernando072020 · 11/09/2021 22:00

I lose my DS in my flat if I take my eyes off him for 5 seconds!
Yabu. It takes one second for something to happen or someone to with bad intentions to come along

SylvanasWindrunner · 11/09/2021 22:00

I'm generally quite relaxed but no I think that's too little to be left unsupervised in a public place.

Solasum · 11/09/2021 22:00

Too little. 6 or 7 fine. 3 not.

DeepaBeesKit · 11/09/2021 22:00

It's very difficult. I don't think I would have done it, but then I dont have any difficult holding etc.

I would have stopped, gone over and got her and taken her inside the cubicle with me to stop her running away. But then when using toilets with my children (similar age I always taken them into the cubicle with me so there's no possibility of them running off without me.

ANameChangeAgain · 11/09/2021 22:00

You know it wasn't great but nothing went wrong. Just have a plan or better control in place so it doesn't happen again. Having two children in a toilet cubicle with you isn't fun, especially when you are sitting there and one of them is opening and closing the door!

WorraLiberty · 11/09/2021 22:00

By straight back out the park gates, I mean I would've taken her straight home for her disobedience.

Mammaaof · 11/09/2021 22:00

Omg anyone could have taken her!!

Detest · 11/09/2021 22:01

She's 3? I wouldn't even leave her outside the cubicle, never mind let her run off. And I'm a very relaxed parent.

Pinkplums · 11/09/2021 22:02

No way, I can’t take my eyes off my 3 year old in a park. Once when I had toddler and baby with me I was sorting the baby and in a split second toddler managed to get under a fence and was in the car park. I looked up and just caught sight of his foot disappearing, if I hadn’t have looked every few seconds and missed that he would have been gone and I wouldn’t have had a clue which direction to look for him.

Cherryana · 11/09/2021 22:02

3 is too young.
I think 6 is too young.
I think 7 with an older brother or sister
A sensible 8 would be fine I think.

hopeishere · 11/09/2021 22:02

Agree they are locked in the cubicle with you. I have a child with SN and this is what we do.

Floralnomad · 11/09/2021 22:02

It takes seconds for someone to walk off with a child , is it likely to happen - no , would I risk it - hell no .

Bitcherama · 11/09/2021 22:03

No fucking way.

CaddieDawg · 11/09/2021 22:03

Personally, no. I wouldn't have left them alone in public like that. I'd have either asked another mum to keep an eye for a min or dragged her back in with me. Was it busy? Roads or ponds nearby?

NannyR · 11/09/2021 22:03

I'm very much into giving kids space and independence in playgrounds, but I think 3/4 is too young to not have anyone watching her. If it was only two minutes you should have made her wait.

myheartskippedabeat · 11/09/2021 22:03

@KihoBebiluPute

For a 3 yo they should be bolted into the same cubicle as you in the loo. I know this means you don't get privacy for using the loo but that's the price you pay for your child being safe.
Don't people always take small children into cubicles with them in public places? Me and my friends certainly do
MonkeyPuddle · 11/09/2021 22:03

Not a fucking chance would I have let that happen. Not at all.

Hercisback · 11/09/2021 22:03

My 4yo would have been taken straight home for that.