You’ve seen one episode, you’ve seen them all?

[WomanStanleyWoman]

Inspired by the ‘Vera’ thread - what are the shows you can see once, then theoretically never see again without missing anything?

My vote goes to Location Location Location. As much as I love it, the formula is eternally predictable:

‘Steve and Samantha Deluded-Twats are looking for a spacious two-bedroom apartment in west London. They love pricey Chiswick, but only have £300k to spend. They’re hoping that, with our help, they can find an area nearby with an attractive high street with a villagey feel and lots of independent shops and cafés, even though they buy everything off Amazon and get their lunch from Tesco Express like the rest of us. Today, I’ll be showing them a one-bed in need of work opposite a condemned council estate now being used as an unofficial skate park and drug den. I REALLY hope they can see the potential’.

Share your nominations…

Greg Wallace programme about a factory. Fundamental law of nature that various words meaning 'big' must be used frequently. Impossible to be made without superlatives. Suspect he would explode if he tried.

I think he is contractually obliged to say Wow at anything mildly interesting within the first 3 minutes and at least 4 more times throughout the show.

Don't tell the Bride!
Bride wants X and definitely doesn't want Y.
Groom spends budget unwisely and Y is very much the theme.
Bride cries that her day will be awful. Groom gets pissed with mates.

On the day everything comes together and Bride says how well he did and she can't believe he pulled it off. Groom's mates can't believe he pulled it off.

And into the sunset they go!

Yeah, they want to move thousands of miles away but everyone will have to go there at Christmas in the snow and ice ( and risk life and limb no doubt ) to admire the new place with the thousand acres of land in the middle of nowhere that will be freezing cold and not have a fully stocked shop within ten miles. Or any WiFi.

Grand Designs does occasionally throw a curved ball where one of the couple dies, possibly of boredom (or is that down to Kevin too?).

@spiderlight
You forgot Max’s plan going slightly wrong and that lady from the board pulls a string and fixes it.

The recent opiates episode had me screaming, prescription delivery already bloody exists

@Spidey66

The news NHS in a bad way Education in a bad way Worldwide pandemic War somewhere in the world Politician or world leader is being shady and /or hypocritical A celebrity has died The weather is shit A football team has won a match/league/tournament

Sadly so. And it’s always been the same. Brief 2012 interlude when the world was peachy. This series of A Handmaids Tale. June escapes with a fellow handmaiden who dies. Chin strokey flashback showing how pre Gilead world was just like today June is captured.

Those dreadful daytime dramas at 13.45 but I do love Father Brown

But does Iglesias Piggle go to bed alone?! His namesake definitely didn't!

@Youdoyoutoday

My dad loves Columbo..... its always the one he speaks to the most.... annoys me something silly!

The crime and perpetrator is shown at the start of each episode, so everyone watching knows the 'whodunit'

Colombo is ace IMHO.

You could really say anything you watch regularly is formulaic.

@Antsinyourpanta well done. I forgot about 'wow'.

@AuntieJoyce

Criminal Minds

In women are disappearing from supermarket carparks/jogging/garage restrooms. Profiling team get called in. Give profile - single male nondescript in his thirties lives with mother.

Garcia uncovers a shortlist of three in between 2nd and 3rd ad breaks. Reed goes off on his own bat whilst rest of team investigate shortlist. Whoops as Reed accidentally blunders into serial killer’s den in remote wooded area. Rest of team realise Reed was right all along and arrive just as Reed is about to have his eyeballs eaten.

Also must say "Wheels up in 10" at least once and "Babydoll" 10 times

All this talk of Grand Designs has put this little tune firmly in my head!
(Hope I’ve shared link correctly-first time)

Escape to the Country. A couple in their fifties from Croydon are taking early retirement and moving to rural Yorkshire where they need seven bedrooms, 12 acres and an industrial kitchen because they think they're going to be doing that much entertaining (whereas we all know they're going to end up like Jack Nicholson and Shelley Duvall in The Shining). They've got £850 000 to spend but just can't find what they want for that kind of budget (but one suspects they just wanted to get their faces on television, bragging that they've got £850 000 to spare - Take that, snooty receptionist from the hairdresser's!).

House no.1 meets all their needs on paper but is way over-budget, on a busy road, and the kitchen is too small.

House no.2 is way under-budget, someone clearly died in it, and the kitchen is too small.

A man called Bob teaches them to weave their own canoe from bulrushes. Bob doesn't look like he has a big kitchen. Bob looks like he manages with a gas ring.

House no.3 is a luxury apartment in an ex-ducal country seat. They are sucking lemons at the tiny fucking kitchen.

They meet the presenter by a roaring fire in one of those afternoon tea-type country hotels. They lie about taking a second look at the first house.

A voice-over on the end credits announces that Lynn and Richard have decided to stay in Croydon.

You've eaten half a pack of biscuits watching this.

Everybody Loves Raymond - we get it, the wife and the mother in law don’t get on.

@Antsinyourpanta

Also great british bake off All that glitters Pottery throw down Sewing bee The dog grooming one The make up one (glow up?)

Are basically all the same programme with different materials.

And that's why I love them

"Strictly Come Baking in Your HomeMade Tiara While Wearing Your self-Designed 1940's Teadress That Your Dog Made Out Of Rimmel Boxes and Japanese Porcelain" would be my dream show.

OP, Come Dine with Me where the cook decides to cook something they've never made before. Then gets some publicity-hungry entertainment desperate for aTV appearance.

Secret Spenders where this week's highlight was the woman who thought they had no money because her DH bought their DD a comic and some sweeties once a week, and had apparently no idea it was down to her own doing, spending £400 a month on having nice things posted to her door, with multiple mini breaks and beauty treatments on top

are people really this clueless? She called the show because her husband Spent money in the corner shop every day then it came out that she goes on 12 holidays a year and gets monthly botox and eats takeaways every night. Wtf

Esma, the people on escape to the country make me want to punch things. Hard.

Scooby Doo

"If it hadn't been for you meddling kids"

Nothing to put, but love this some have made me laugh they are all so accurate.
@spiderlight
I love new Amsterdam, but Max’s sincere faces are starting to grate on me and I will no doubt notice them even more now after reading your post!

Escape To The Country

They always want “a bit of land to grow vegetables and keep chickens”, even though they paved over their garden to save work and could get an allotment where they are in Sheffield but never bothered. They’ve checked RightMove and worked out their budget might stretch to somewhere in mid Wales so opt to look there, even though they have never been further west than Offa’s Dyke and look surprised to learn that road signs are in Welsh.

The couple then turn up at House #1 and wander around saying, “That’s nice. It’s quite nice. Nice. I thought it was nice. It’s a nice place. Mmmm quite nice.”

Jules tries to enthuse them about House #2 which is a “do-er upper” with donkeys for sitting tenants in a picturesque valley 20 miles from the nearest shop, with its own septic tank!

@vampirethriller

Heartbeat. I know it's finished but my brother will loves it. Every episode: small crime committed by someone with a secret. Kind policeman, unlucky in love/in complicated relationship, goes above and beyond whilst remonstrating with elderly miscreant in tatty hat. Someone then chases someone else through the dusk on the moors. End with elderly miscreant saying something mildly amusing in the pub. Local girl in a nice jumper kisses someone. Cut.

And doesn’t Wicksy/him off Casualty/Paddy’s gay cousin from Emmerdale/Scottish bloke that won Strictly lose a girlfriend or wife in tragic circumstances at least once per series?

Walking Dead - can't believe it's still going.

The presenters on these country programmes always say ' they will love this one' ha ha ha
They always hate it. Then look bored at the basket weaving segment.