You’ve seen one episode, you’ve seen them all?

[WomanStanleyWoman]

Inspired by the ‘Vera’ thread - what are the shows you can see once, then theoretically never see again without missing anything?

My vote goes to Location Location Location. As much as I love it, the formula is eternally predictable:

‘Steve and Samantha Deluded-Twats are looking for a spacious two-bedroom apartment in west London. They love pricey Chiswick, but only have £300k to spend. They’re hoping that, with our help, they can find an area nearby with an attractive high street with a villagey feel and lots of independent shops and cafés, even though they buy everything off Amazon and get their lunch from Tesco Express like the rest of us. Today, I’ll be showing them a one-bed in need of work opposite a condemned council estate now being used as an unofficial skate park and drug den. I REALLY hope they can see the potential’.

Share your nominations…

I liked the Scoobie Doos when they pulled of a mask and there was another mask underneath.

Usually the theme park owner wanted to sell the site for housing and the manager wants to scare off the developers.

Deluded-Twats though. 🤣

We are convinced Contessa is just slowly marinading Geoffrey and her last show will feature him on a spit, slowly roasting over the barbecue with the required 8 tons of salt.

I don’t think Jeffrey is a stranger to a good spit roast.

@Mamette

I’m loving the Friends x-post

Grand Designs
Young couple want to build home of their dreams which must simultaneously blend in with the landscape and be the size of an aircraft hangar.

Kevin is dubious about whether their budget will stretch.

The wife becomes pregnant and the family lives in a caravan throughout multiple delays and setbacks to the build.

Windows get delivered and one might break! Then it doesn’t.

It finally gets built and Kevin decides it’s a unique feat of architecture and he was oh so wrong to have ever doubted anything.

It is revealed that the budget went over by 200%.

I can’t watch it! Love the concept and the building project but the smugness of every couple I’ve ever seen on it - I just want to slap them!

@HesterShaw1 you win the internet today with your Home Design description

"Property Brothers," which is kinda the USA version of "Location Location Location." Family has big dreams, modest budget. Think they can have it all. The brothers show them a house that fits all their needs, but costs twice their budget, talks them into a "fixer-upper." Couple is thrilled. Over and over and over again.

The saving grace being that I've actually learned a tremendous amount about what to look for in a house...what can and cannot be overcome, and the importance of having a renovator who KNOWS WHAT THEY ARE DOING.

Any chance of MN's publishing a tv listings magazine?
It would be refreshingly honest.. :-)
Although I suppose viewing figures would drop..

Eastenders,most dreary soap have ever watched,same old stony expressions,misery on every corner of the square

Baywatch. We are currently watching the remastered 1st series.
The episode opens with the lifeguards running in slow motion. A dodgy friend of Mitch from his wild past turns up. He is followed by drug dealers /gangsters who by the end of the episode, will place one of the lifeguards/their family in mortal peril.

The younger lifeguards hatch a madcap scheme to sell sandwiches on the beach/win a volleyball tournament.

Someone almost drowns. The lifeguards run in slow motion to save them.

Mitch's dodgy mate is arrested, Mitch moralises a bit about their bad behaviour. Everyone is smug about their clean living ways and amazing bodies. Episode ends with Mitch making a cheesy joke.

Deadly 60 (or any other programme featuring Steve Backshall).
Talks about wildlife
Goes out to remote location
Finds deadly creature
Picks it up/pokes it about and does piece to camera
Bonus points for filming at night in infra-red (so as not to disturb wild creature)
Takes off shirt and swims/canoes
More grabbing dangerous/venomous creatures
Cheeky grin and thumbs up.

Ru Paul’s Drag Race, regardless of the country, original series or All Stars - the tasks are the same, the types/shapes of Queens that make it to the end and of course the nepotism of RP.

These Woods are Haunted. It's my new favourite.

Group of American men wearing waistcoats in a camo pattern go into the woods at night. After a while of drinking and taking drugs camping and fishing, someone hears a noise.

Scene cuts to dark woodland with a slight shadow that's almost certainly an animal, but that they immediately decide is either a ghost or the yeti.

Various discussions ensue around 'what's that, it's coming towards us' (it doesn't) 'it has glowing eyes' (reflection of torches).

They all run away back to their car/boat which doesn't start at first, then speed away completely fine, nothing having happened to any of them.

The end is the group saying how they'll never go to the woods again and one of them cries. There's usually another one who clearly thinks all his mates are fucking nuts but he's been forced to go along with the story.

A Place in the Sun.
Vera.
New Housewives - anywhere in the world.

I can't get near my own telly at the moment as it is being monopolized by dd and friend on sleepover.

Thanks to this thread, I don't need to.

Not read the full thread but Naked Attraction.
Formulaic drivel to appeal to the masses.
Every episode exactly the same.
Inexplicably shaved genitals 100% of the time.
Pathetic "piece to camera" citing some inane "fact" to give the show an iota of credibility, like we don't all know its the equivalent of the Victorian freak show and teenage boys all over the country are doing what teenage boys do.
Invariably the one with the best body gets chosen.
Car crash TV.

Most modern films - Tom Cruise will have the lead role despite being completely 'wrong' for the role; Jason Statham will play a hard man because that's the only look he has.

@JenniferAllisonPhillipaSue

Most modern films - Tom Cruise will have the lead role despite being completely 'wrong' for the role; Jason Statham will play a hard man because that's the only look he has.

I watched “The Meg” yesterday. Jason Statham is just terrible.

(And I was irrationally annoyed because Dwight from the Office was in it and he wasn’t Dwight 🤣)

Line of Duty
Arnott and Fleming stare pensively over their laptops
Hastings stares pensively out of his office window
A bad crime happens and might involve police corruption.
Hastings says "Mother of God" and calls a meeting.
In the meeting Fleming and Arnott give each other dirty looks, they have fallen out over one of them getting promoted or not getting promoted.
Fleming offers to go undercover (even though she is rubbish at it).
Fleming meets her new boss and blows her cover within 2 minutes by immediately offering to be new bosses bestie and offering to listen to any secrets new boss may have.
Fleming and Arnott meet in a subway, one has brought coffee for them both. Neither of them drink it. We know they are friends again because they call each other "mate".
Someone is murdered, Hastings exclaims "Holy Mary, Joseph, sweet baby Jesus and the baby donkey" and calls a senior police officer in for questioning.
The senior police officer has a surname beginning with H. This is not surprising as in LOD every senior police officer has a surname beginning with H.
The senior police officer outwits the team by knowing more about their private lives than they do. Hastings is very cross, especially with Arnott who by now has had his shag with someone entirely inappropriate given his role as an AC officer, and despite suffering erectile disfunction, crippling back pain, and a codeine addiction.
The officer who works with the team, and actually does all the work for them, finds something important on the computer and shows it to Arnott
Senior police officer is brought in for questioning again. Their arrival is signified by the team staring pensively at the officer from the office balcony.
Senior police officer is now caught bang to rights. They make a last ditch attempt to escape but fail.
The team celebrate finding H, but with a story line with enough ambiguity to suggest there is another H, just in case Jed Mercurio gets offered another series.
The team return to the office balcony and stare into the distance, pensively.
The End

Christ alive, it pains me as LoD fan. But yes that is a fair summary
And the right amount of Jesus, Mary and Joseph & wee donkeys⭐️

@VodselForDinner

We are convinced Contessa is just slowly marinading Geoffrey and her last show will feature him on a spit, slowly roasting over the barbecue with the required 8 tons of salt.

I don’t think Jeffrey is a stranger to a good spit roast.

Wet boak to that unsavoury image

Selling Sunset is back on Netflix this week! Anyone care to guess the "plot" this time!

@BruceAndNosh

Any George Clarke renovation programme... George visits couple in gutted house. Shakes head at state of it. Discusses budget Looks at plans, suggests fucking obvious change to plans using bright red felt tip. Admits this will add £30k to renovation costs but will be "totally worth it"

Revisits 9 months later, glad to see they have taken his advice
Throws head back in laughter showing perfect dental worth with nary a filling
Worries a bit to camera

Revists after another 9 months.
Admires finished result which went way over budget, because of his changes and bloke's insistence on York stone floors.

*Wife does NOT become pregnant"
This proves the Kevin McCloud impregnation theory

You forgot George shoehorning the fact he's tall into every conversation possible!

@WorriedWishingWell you forgot.

Kate and Steve meet in subway with brightly coloured graffiti and say “Mate” a lot.

And

Kate goes deep undercover and spends most of her time googling her pretend new unit right in front of everyone so that her colleagues immediately guess she is really AC12.

Any reality tv show really.

With ‘Wanted Down Under’ it annoys me that they visit the area they want to live in and spend the time canoeing, visiting beaches and going days out. I always think they should arrive on a Sunday night, and the kids should be enrolled in a local school for a week and both parents should be working. Because basically anywhere is nice if you’re on holiday. It’s not quite the same when you’re dragging yourself from work to school in the Australian heat to pick up your kids.