You’ve seen one episode, you’ve seen them all?

[WomanStanleyWoman]

Inspired by the ‘Vera’ thread - what are the shows you can see once, then theoretically never see again without missing anything?

My vote goes to Location Location Location. As much as I love it, the formula is eternally predictable:

‘Steve and Samantha Deluded-Twats are looking for a spacious two-bedroom apartment in west London. They love pricey Chiswick, but only have £300k to spend. They’re hoping that, with our help, they can find an area nearby with an attractive high street with a villagey feel and lots of independent shops and cafés, even though they buy everything off Amazon and get their lunch from Tesco Express like the rest of us. Today, I’ll be showing them a one-bed in need of work opposite a condemned council estate now being used as an unofficial skate park and drug den. I REALLY hope they can see the potential’.

Share your nominations…

I quite like Miranda Hart but her 'Miranda' series really pushed the rinse-and-repeat formula to the limit imo. It was almost exactly the same script every time!

@AuntMasha

Danger! Heavy trucks on ice!

My 600 lb life.

@the80sweregreat

The one who was a ' dog whisperer' was funny., People have over indulged their dogs so much they can't actually walk anymore , bite everyone and have their owners penned in the kitchen while they run around terrorizing post men and barking non stop Dog whisperer woman tells them who is boss and puts dog on a diet as well as rescuing the owners out of the kitchen. Dog loses weight and behaves. Owners grin at how badly they treated their ' furry baby' and promise to not let dog rule the roost anymore. Dog whisperer woman goes on this morning.

Does anyone else remember the household that was ruled by a tiny tyrant called Teddy Pom Pom? Victoria’s diagram of the household hierarchy was hilarious.

Pointless
Richard what's his face and Alexander Armstrong chortle at their own jokes.
They ask inane questions to nervous contestants about their lives and pretend to be interested. They always ask questions about the periodic table.
They need to get a pointless answer to win 1k at the end of the longest 45 minutes in history and hardly ever do as the categories are obscenely hard and very obscure.
It is , indeed , pointless.

Buffy had some stand out episodes but I must admit to fforwarding the fight scenes in the main.

Seen one stake through the heart, you've seen 'em all.

I'm nominating the one and only epsiode ever made of Bargain Hunt closely followed by that of Antiques Road Trip.

Garden Rescue. Couple with garden consumed with house extension boasting mandatory bi-fold doors in shade of grey want their garden transforming into an outdoor room. Presenter tours all grey colour decor home looking like a branch of Dunelm for inspiration. Couple want outside bar, water feature and patio area. Rich brothers present interesting but realistic proposal for couple who just want to stare at outdoor space through extension bi-fold doors. Charlie presents something twirly with water feature. Presenter who repeats the word contemporary countless times wins the gig.

I love some things just because they are predictable. Last of the summer wine, murder she wrote, CSI Miami, Midsomer murders, death in paradise.
But Wanted Down under drove me scatty. Especially the realisation that Australia isn't cheap, most people don't live in a beach front mansion. And the videos of sobbing Granny back at home.......

The Crown.

I'm so te'bbly torn between duty to femly end duty to The Crown.
Crown wins. Two series in. Not sure I can bear any more.

Bing.

Titular character is an annoying little shit throughout. Breaks/destroys/kills something. Flop is annoyingly calm.

Pando squeals, pantless, and Padget patronises everyone in a four mile radius. Soola deserves better.

Bing gets his own way; smugly goes to bed.

Wanted dish under : the flags they have to twiddle around finished me off years ago.
It really is terrible.

Two more that do my head in…

The next step on cbbc, annoying girls with hair flicks and talk-to-the-hand gestures bitch about their “friends”. Someone dances like never before (I can’t tell the difference) two people snog and the dance troupe get through to regionals. Banned in our house.

Oh and Ben fogle’s remote/off grid programme, a lot of sleeping in converted horse boxes, compost toilets and sympathetic questioning and head tilting from Ben to try to make flesh out a back story for a burned out vet/corporate HR manager/accountant/whatever who just fancied a change.

It’s The whey faced participants and the distraught grandparents that do me in

@EmmalineC Holiday Showdown? I did always love that programme, but yes, very predictable.

Everyone always detests me for this, but something I find very repetitive are the Lord of the Rings films.

Form a group to do something. Trudge up mountains. Fight with some ugly monster things. Trudge up some more mountains. Frodo has to put the ring on for some reason. Fight some more monsters. Repeat for 3+ hours.

Only fools and horses:

Del has a get rich quick scheme.
Rodney sighs.
The elderly relative causes them both to sigh.
Del's plans go awry but he still comes out grinning at the end.

BH 90210
Jason Preistley does a James Dean impression.
Dylan swoons.
Brandon finds something that shocks his naive mind and becomes the newbie of the week's knight in shining armour.
Brenda annoys people.
Kelly has her nose in the air.
Donna doesn't have her own nose.
Everyone forgets Andrea.
Steve's a dick.
David's a geek.
The sunshine cures all ills.

Obviously Don’t Tell the Bride.

Groom is hopeless man child who couldn’t organise a pissup in a brewery, bride is control freak who (probably correctly) doesn’t trust her DP to put his own trousers on by himself and manages the household finances but has somehow decided to have a child with and now marry him.

She is shown admiring stately home reception venue and expensive wedding dress. He selects crap venue, cringed theme (extra points for incorporating her pet hates or phobias), and cheap dress in the style she said she hates. Bridesmaids dresses cost 20 p and are truly awful.

He spends half the budget on his stag night and sends her to the local bar.

He forgets one vital element.

She is really upset trying On her dress and threatens not to go ahead. She is also upset on journey to wedding as she realises where it is and the theme,

They get married and she forgives him all the crap and says how well he has done and HEA.

They get married legally in the end credits.

Random Celebs Hidden (Insert name of UK Region)

"I'm going on a journey to find out what makes (Insert name of UK Region) so special. On my way, I'll meet facsinating locals who tell their stories about what makes (Insert name of UK region) so special.

.....also:

The films of Terence Malik.

Wavy Grass

More Wavy Grass

Lots and lots of wavy grass.

Men move through the wavy grass

They have guns or big pointy sticks or something.

And there'll be a fire, soon enough

Married at first sight
They give it a go. It goes wrong
They get divorced.

River Monsters:
This week Jeremy Wade is on the hunt for a giant, possibly prehistoric, ferocious looking fish that has been biting fishermen’s willies off on the coast of Mauritious.

Cue Jeremy Wade‘s subtitled interview with distressed williless Mauritian fisherman.

It’s going to take some doing to track this monster down. From descriptions given by witnesses it’s 20 foot long, looks like a piranha that’s teamed up with a shark and a diplodocus and has 2 rows of disturbingly human looking teeth.

Cut to Jeremy Wade ruggedly standing naked from the waist up in a small boat, competently casting his large, thick rod into the middle of a sludgy looking lake.

Tense music as there’s a huge jerk on Jeremys rod and he is nearly pulled off the boat. Camera pans river as Jeremy reels in a pissed off looking cod. Announces it’s not the willy chomper and has to turn in as its getting dark.

Next day:

After 3 false alarms that yield two further vicious but incorrect offenders and a dead seagull, the willy chomper is finally reeled on deck 5 mins before the end of the show. Jeremy stuffs a stick in The frantically thrashing chompers gob to keep it away from his appendage, while telling viewers that it is indeed the very rare Mauritian Willy Chomper that normally poses no threat to humans as it is supposed to hang out mid ocean but alarmingly due to climate change has adapted to freshwater habitats and is now swimming around denuding Mauritian fishermen of their manhoods. Jeremy describes the physiology of the fish, pointing out its disturbing teeth in close up before chucking the furious creature back into the lake. Fish brought to justice, Jezza warns the locals to wear y fronts when out in the lake at all times. Locals dead chuffed.

Next week Jeremy is nearer home investigating reports of a long, bright red and shiny fish in The Thames. It turns out to be the 9 pm No.2 bus to Walthamstow that large numbers of people are still queueing up for, tutting about how utterly shit the No.2 is these days.

Yes yes to Grand Designs.
Gold Rush- everyone struggles to get started, someone is filmed running and screaming “shut it down!” Right before the break, it turns out to be nothing major, everyone has a crap season except Parker who has his best ever season despite pissing off his entire crew, Tony has equipment issues, Parker buys his own land and then somehow ends up mining Tony’s, Freddy Dodge/ Dave Turin show up.

Line of Duty and the bloody H story line.

@Flyingantday
Totally agree about the Next Step! Hate it! Such bad acting!

@MeredithGreyishblue - I'd forgotten about his cancer. He is indeed cured of everything except Sincere Faceitis and Deadwife Mistyeyeitis.

Everyone always detests me for this, but something I find very repetitive are the Lord of the Rings films.

Form a group to do something. Trudge up mountains. Fight with some ugly monster things. Trudge up some more mountains. Frodo has to put the ring on for some reason. Fight some more monsters. Repeat for 3+ hours.

No no, you are absolutely right and anyone who says otherwise is just plain wrong. String music. Close up of Frodo’s face. Some elf or other. The second LOTR film was so dull and repetitive I actually cried with boredom.

Tattoo Fixers

Got pissed in Magaluf and got a tiny tattoo of a penis on thigh

Fixers : let’s do a massive rose tattoo that covers the entire leg

Or it’s a sad story….lots of head tilting….fixers do inspirational tattoo…formerly sad person walks out with head held high…”Granny would be proud, cheers mate”

@ErrolTheDragon

Midsomer Murders. Unlikely murder in a bucolic village where everyone is overinvested in one particular hobby or activity. Quite often Barnaby's wife (either) is also involved in it. More murders follow, until the last potential victim is saved by Barnaby (either) at the eleventh hour.

American Pickers

Mike and Frank get dirty.
Frank says, "a little bit of everything".
One finds some rusty crap they think might be worth $100.
A dirty bloke with no teeth...
Or...
A sweaty lumpy obviously impoverished woman...
Obviously think oooooh, eyes alight, ka-fucking-ching.
How about $300 you pair of suckers Iowa.
No, how about $200...we got telly to make.

Every sodding episode, they get ripped off by some greedy hoarder.

Either that or, I am poor as shit and have valuable things all around me but I'm not selling any of it because "I am emotionally attached"... AKA " terrified that someone else might make a dollar fifty more than they give me for it, despite the fact that they will have to transport it/clean it up/fix it/find a buyer.