You’ve seen one episode, you’ve seen them all?

[WomanStanleyWoman]

Inspired by the ‘Vera’ thread - what are the shows you can see once, then theoretically never see again without missing anything?

My vote goes to Location Location Location. As much as I love it, the formula is eternally predictable:

‘Steve and Samantha Deluded-Twats are looking for a spacious two-bedroom apartment in west London. They love pricey Chiswick, but only have £300k to spend. They’re hoping that, with our help, they can find an area nearby with an attractive high street with a villagey feel and lots of independent shops and cafés, even though they buy everything off Amazon and get their lunch from Tesco Express like the rest of us. Today, I’ll be showing them a one-bed in need of work opposite a condemned council estate now being used as an unofficial skate park and drug den. I REALLY hope they can see the potential’.

Share your nominations…

When I was a kid me and my brother used to bet our chocolate bars on who would get injured and how during the first part of a Casualty episode 😂

My nominations for seen one, seen em all would be...

House, CSI (all variations) and Criminal Minds. Also, James Bond films!

winewolfhowls to be fair there's been some great episodes, but them both dying so many times got kind of groundhog day after a while 😁

@Fivebyfive2

When I was a kid me and my brother used to bet our chocolate bars on who would get injured and how during the first part of a Casualty episode 😂

My nominations for seen one, seen em all would be...

House, CSI (all variations) and Criminal Minds. Also, James Bond films!

Yes! At uni we used to watch it and predict the dreadful life changing outcomes

@the80sweregreat

The endless recaps are annoying on all these shows, I only watched it five minutes before the ads, I do remember what I was watching back then ..

Exactly my point, C4 particularly bad

SERIOUSLY. Some of these are BRILLIANT.

For me it’s got to be BGT. Only just Averagely talented wannabes with questionable back stories, plenty of fake audience reactions, Ant and Dick. The acts are always the same;

Azim a fat geek who sings opera

KRZIKDZ a bunch of demonic kids usually from a community centre dancing to questionable adult music or rap with an obnoxious leader usually choreographed by someone with a sob story

fucking dogs that read your mind

Tony from Aberystwyth, a blind knife thrower

R1SPECT a group of teenagers from a community centre dancing to questionable adult music or rap wearing some sort of glow in the dark shit

Beryl and Kyle, the old bid doing the waltz and duetting with her closeted grandson singing We’ll meet again.

Andy from Stoke a used car sales man singing the Impossible dream.

Every. fucking. episode.

The Walking Dead

Zombie threat.
Run and find shelter.
Other people turn up and there's a fight.
More zombies and someone gets their face eaten off.
More fighting with rival groups.
Audience is meant to reach the conclusion that it's the other people that are the real monsters.
Snotty crying/scowling/riding around on some fucking motorbike that's engine noise will attract more zombies.

For eleventy billion seasons.

Loving this thread!

CSI Miami:

Opening scene, most likely at a pool party. Lots of ridiculously glamorous women in tiny dresses/bikinis.
Body of glamorous woman discovered face down in the swimming pool.
Horatio arrives, removes sunglasses, squints at body and slowly delivers one liner "I guess this wasn't how she wanted to make a splash", cue The Who "Waaaaaah!!!"
The team interview several suspects (always terrible, terrible actors) who seem completely unfazed by being accused of such a heinous crime.
Investigation hits a dead end until brilliant techy team member uses Amazing Image Enhancing Machine on grainy CCTV image to identify probable killer reflected in victims sunglasses. It's the barman at the party, duh-duh-duuuh!
Suspect brought in for interview, confesses.
Murderer is led away, Horatio sees him in the corridor, turns sideways, removes sunglasses, squints and slowly delivers one liner "It's closing time for him now". Cue The Who again.

Dad’s Army

Some old men chase/run away from a wheeled and/or floating object across a field/church hall/bell tower whilst shouting “they don’t like it up ‘em, Mr Mainwaring” - love it!

Rich house, poor house.

Two families swap lives for the week. One family is from the richest 1% in the country the other from the poorest 1%.

Poor family arrive at the rich family home and gasp at the sheer size of it. Family look dazed when they realise how much they have to spend for the week and ALWAYS on the first night have a really big and expensive takeaway. This is usually followed by a spending spree on electronic goods for their children.

Rich family pretend to be pleasantly suprised by poor family’s accomodation and dad usually exclaims it reminds him of his childhood roots.

Rich family go food shopping and buy pasta and cheese for the week because that’s all they think they can afford.

At the end of the programme both families meet and talk about how much they all have in common. Rich family offer some kind of mentoring/financial assistance to poor family.

Sidenote- I have a love/hate relationship with this programme because on the one hand it does show there are some good people in the world but isn’t it just tv poverty porn?

@StrictlyAFemaleFemale

Rescue mediums. No one but me seems to have heard of it but it was on my netflix for a while.

2 yorkshire women, Alison and Jackie, are in some sort of interesting transport on their way to an unknown location to help family x who are experiencing hauntings. Cut to family members saying what theyve experienced. The narrator continues: Days previously the mediums had some EERIE PREMONITIONS. They tell each other what theyve seen while the other listens with pursed lips. "A man in uniform" "a feeling of being watched" "the name james".
Now we see the mediums arrive at the home and they tell the homeowners their premonitions. The homeowners usually exchange glances and smile. Then the mediums do their observations. They usually feel a spirit or hear or see something. They surround said thing with light and then open the door and watch the person be collected by spirits they knew in their former lives.

Then they sit down with the homeowners and present their research on who they rescued. Usually some immigrant from Ireland who came to Canada in the C19 and suffered some sort of terrible tragedy.

Then they leave, all smiles but finish off with a drink and some awful pun about spirits.

All of that in 20 minutes. Brilliant telly!

This sounds amazing!

Why is it not on ordinary telly EVERY DAY?

I’m addicted to Four in a Bed even though it is the exact same people on it every time.

1. Eccentric single man/woman, usually in their 60s, who is very particular, prickly and everyone is a bit intimidated by them.
2. Hideous couple who underpay everyone by at least £70 even if it’s just for a single hair underneath the brand new £7000 mattress in a gorgeous five star boutique hotel with free spa and 80 acres of sprawling grassland.
3. Mum and son or father and daughter or a couple of friends who are usually quite nice and just want a laugh.
4. Somebody doing glamping who charges £18 extra for breakfast and everybody else slags them off for it.

Downtown Abbey
Historical event of early 20th century comes to Downton
Poshos have stilted conversation about historical event
Servants repeat conversation in case you dozed off
Mild love interest in nice frock - a few tears are spilled
Lady Violet comes for tea and says something withering
Butler and Housekeeper recap the episode in case you dozed off again

Do up a Chateau thingy.

Ghastly young things buy chateau, suddenly becomme biligual and builders.
Chateau thing springs a leak. Burly, swarthy type sorts it. Charcuterie and wine all round.
Hapless family from Hampshire en route ....little do they realise Emma is still painting the doors and Dom is sozzled in a skip somewhere.

Emma wrestles a gaint duvet and Hapless of Hampshire beam at their jolly good luck.

Eastenders.

They go dahn the caff.
They go dahn the pub.
They go dahn the market.
The men have a fight innit.
Someone has a bay bee.
They go dahn the caff.
They go dahn the pub.
They go dahn the market.

@viques

Eastenders.

They go dahn the caff.
They go dahn the pub.
They go dahn the market.
The men have a fight innit.
Someone has a bay bee.
They go dahn the caff.
They go dahn the pub.
They go dahn the market.

😂 Pretty much! I am a big fan for my sins..

TOM and JERRY

Cat chases Mouse,
Mouse outwits Cat,
Cat catches Mouse,
Mouse hits Cat with frying pan
(scene of lady standing on stool deleted because of racist overtones)
Frying pan shaped Cat slumps to floor,
Mouse helps Cat to reform original shape with pair of bellows,
Everybody is happy. (except lady still standing on stool)

I think thy might go Up West sometimes?

@viques

Eastenders.

They go dahn the caff.
They go dahn the pub.
They go dahn the market.
The men have a fight innit.
Someone has a bay bee.
They go dahn the caff.
They go dahn the pub.
They go dahn the market.

And then they die a terrible, inexplicable death. Usually in the middle of the square.

@PuppyMonkey

I’m addicted to Four in a Bed even though it is the exact same people on it every time.

1. Eccentric single man/woman, usually in their 60s, who is very particular, prickly and everyone is a bit intimidated by them.
2. Hideous couple who underpay everyone by at least £70 even if it’s just for a single hair underneath the brand new £7000 mattress in a gorgeous five star boutique hotel with free spa and 80 acres of sprawling grassland.
3. Mum and son or father and daughter or a couple of friends who are usually quite nice and just want a laugh.
4. Somebody doing glamping who charges £18 extra for breakfast and everybody else slags them off for it.

When we’re watching four in a bed and they say “oh we don’t offer breakfast” we’re always screaming at the TV they’re going to mark you down!

And when they’re a “hands off” owner and the other contestants get upset and say that their guests love staying at their places for their personality and you’ve got to entertain your guests 😂🙄

come dine with me
so much about the characters rather than cooking now.

The Real Housewives.
Nothing like housewives since they largely spend their lives outside of the house, drinking and eating egg white and asparagus at nice restaurants or at parties.
Every episode must include;
Two housewives gossiping about the third
Dinner at a restaurant where the rest of the women get told about the gossip.
Massive argument where one walks off and at least one follows.
Phone call on loud speaker the next day from source of gossip to victim off to apologise over lunch the next day.
One of the wives smoothing things over with news of a girls trip to Bali/Hawaii/Cancun.

Volume of arguments depends on the franchise;
Vicious barbs barely whispered - Beverley Hills/ Texas
Fishwife hollering- Orange County /New York
Constant screeching - New Jersey/Atlanta

Towie; Essex people shouting at each other.
With fillers.

Any garden makeover programme.

They clear out all the old tut .

They bring in a digger and dig.

They build a path.

Build a kit gazebo.

Paint stuff .

Plant about £50000 of plants.

Run away very fast before the plants all die and the owners fill up the garden with plastic slides, flamingos, windmills and mooning gnomes.

@Ichoosechocolate

Rich house, poor house.

Two families swap lives for the week. One family is from the richest 1% in the country the other from the poorest 1%.

Poor family arrive at the rich family home and gasp at the sheer size of it. Family look dazed when they realise how much they have to spend for the week and ALWAYS on the first night have a really big and expensive takeaway. This is usually followed by a spending spree on electronic goods for their children.

Rich family pretend to be pleasantly suprised by poor family’s accomodation and dad usually exclaims it reminds him of his childhood roots.

Rich family go food shopping and buy pasta and cheese for the week because that’s all they think they can afford.

At the end of the programme both families meet and talk about how much they all have in common. Rich family offer some kind of mentoring/financial assistance to poor family.

Sidenote- I have a love/hate relationship with this programme because on the one hand it does show there are some good people in the world but isn’t it just tv poverty porn?

I've only seen this twice but this is it exactly!

Grand Designs. All I can add to what everyone has already said is that I will nearly always make two observations:

• All that glass is going to be a bugger to keep clean.

• I don’t like the look of those stairs once the baby gets mobile. How are they going to fit a stair gate on them?!