Hospital has changed visiting rules

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I'm due to give birth in less than 1 week. My midwife told me today that due to rising covid cases, they are restricting visiting during and after birth again.

I'm so very sad about this. My husband will only be allowed in during active labour now and no visiting once I'm on the recovery ward. It's likely I will be needing a cesarean and the thought of recovering without his help and support for the duration of my hospital stay has turned me into an emotional wreck.

I understand many woman experienced this during lockdown and I really admire their bravery for doing so but we are no longer in lockdown. Will this ever end? If vaccines and negative tests are not enough then what is?

AIBU to think why the F can I go and watch a sports game or visit live music venue with hundreds or thousands of other people but my husband can't be at my side to support me though the birth of his child.

I completely agree with you and really sympathise. If we have been double vaccinated then I also agree the rules should be universally relaxed otherwise we will be wearing masks and having restrictions on and off for years if we use the "but covid rates are rising" line. So sorry you are going through this awful situation try to stay strong.

I experienced this. And I am so gutted that women and babies are still experiencing this. It’s cruel.

I’ve also never met a health visitor, despite so many attempts to get in touch with one (ignored calls and emails), never had my now-toddler weighed, never been to a baby group, never been to a children’s centre as it’s closed due to Covid, the majority of my mat leave was proper lockdowns and no one even held my baby for the first three months because that was the advice then.

It has to stop now, it really has to stop.

Can he come back at visiting times?

It is absolutely shit, but I’m somewhat surprised that your hospital ever went back to pre-Covid practices - none of the ones near me did. They’re still one birth partner, during active labour only, and then the same person can visit during visiting hours if you’re kept in. That’s all. Nobody else can come, no staying with you on the ward or in a room. No leaving to go to the car/freshen up.

Here, if you have a c section, your birth partner can be with you in the recovery bay but has to leave when you go to the ward, if it’s not within the visiting hours. Is that the same for you?

Thankfully I’m a few months from having to make the decision, but nobody here seems to expect any changes until next spring, so I’m strongly debating trying a vaginal birth just so that I might not have to stay in for so long afterwards. I hate hospitals and really need DH with me.

@Glssr195726113493 I'm so sorry for what you had to go through It's unacceptable. I don't know if I have the strength to go through what you have. I don't understand how they can justify continuing like this. It's painful to think about.

It’s really tough. My husband has been through weeks of chemotherapy, radiation and several long stays on the ward. None of which l could accompany him to or visit.
It’s heartbreaking. l understand the reasoning behind it, not bringing Covid into the hospital and near to already patients and newborns, but it’s just so hard.
I really sympathise with you but l don’t know what else hospitals can do.
Good luck with everything.

I'm sorry. It really sucks, to put it mildly.

The answer to the gigs and festivals and sports games vs. birthing partners is that your birthing partner doesn't bring in any taxes and women not having birth partners doesn't mean paying for yet more furlough for those in hospitality. It has absolutely nothing to do with a safety judgement so I wish they wouldn't say it does.

I feel for you OP. It’s crap. However, I had a C-section (pre Covid) and I will say that the support I had post section was good. I had help with DD2 when I needed it from the midwives and HCAs, and DH didn’t physically do anything. I hope it’s the same for you.
I’ve nursed all the way through Covid under some really strict visiting restrictions. They are awful but I hate to say somewhat necessary. An outbreak of COVID on a maternity ward would be devastating.

I completely agree. No loving relative wants to expose someone they love to Covid, particularly not a newborn baby. They will be taking every precaution and I have no idea why they can’t accept proof of a negative test along with proof of vaccine or similar.

If numbers are rising we should be making face coverings and distancing compulsory again, not cutting people off from their friends and relatives when they need them the most.

@TakeYourFinalPosition I'll need to clarify the exact details, I was too busy crying to take it all in. But yes he can stay in the recovery bay but can't come to the ward I think depending on the time. She said that for now they can visit an hour each day but that's likely to change very soon. I really hope I don't need a cesarean so I can get out of there asap.

@RubyViolet I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through I wish you and your husband the best of luck and a speedy recovery.

[quote Insertcharger]@Glssr195726113493 I'm so sorry for what you had to go through It's unacceptable. I don't know if I have the strength to go through what you have. I don't understand how they can justify continuing like this. It's painful to think about.[/quote]
You will have the strength because that’s what we do, but you are perfectly right to be desperately saddened by this.

But we have been robbed of the entire support network that we should have access to when embarking on childbirth and beyond. The powers that be won’t let us have our families for support during the Labour and recovery, they’ve laid off or furloughed the clinical staff that should help us once we’re home, they’ve made it impossible for children’s centres and baby groups to open and run, despite removing access to HV they’ve made it impossible to access primary care with the GPs face to face…. I’m so worried for the fall out of this for some children and their families.

And I was also made to wear a mask during my Labour, until my anaesthetist pulled it off for me as I was taking into surgery for a section, telling me how ridiculous and barbaric he thought it was.

It must really suck OP. I’m so sorry to hear that women are being put through this.

The one silver lining, I guess, is that you won’t have to put up with other people’s husbands and partners on the ward, often all hours of the day and night, being loud and inconsiderate (obviously not all will be but I’ve read stories on here and elsewhere). Not trying to be insensitive but to maybe look for the upside of you’re the kind of person who is helped by that.

It really sucks - I could accept only having one visitor (although I would have loved my older DD to visit) but I really didn't understand the rationale behind the shorter restricted visiting hours.
We were allowed a 2 hour visit each day - surely this is enough time to spread the virus if someone did have it so why not allow a longer visit which would actually benefit us. 2 hours just wasn't enough time for DH to spend bonding with baby and I would have liked more time for us to be together and for me to get a proper rest while he held baby.

I don't think vaccines can be an argument here, as many who are pregnant have chosen to wait until their pregnancy ends to have the vaccine. So maternity is a high risk area with regards to covid.

Oh and yes I had a mask on throughout labour too - literally pulling it down to use gas and air and then pulling it back up. Also made to wear one on the postnatal ward overnight. I kept taking it off to try and sleep and they kept coming to do observations and making me put it back on.

I genuinely think I would hit a midwife or doctor who tried to put a mask on me during labour! How dare they. Consent is required for them to touch you, no?!

@herculesoffline If my husband and myself are both double vaxxed and can produce a negative PCR test then why can't it be used to allow him to see me and his baby? We are both isolating at the moment and both live in the same house. If he has it then I will likely have it too. If one of us are positive then fair enough, I agree we should restrict visiting.

@DuggeeHugPlease a mask when you are asleep? That's absolutely ridiculous! I wonder how quickly you can be discharged post birth. There's no way I want to stay if this is how you're treated.

My hospital has also done this. Rules come into force at midnight. Partners only allowed to the 12 and 20 week scan. Not allowed to any others even if emergency. Can only be with you in active labour and have to leave an hour later.
I'm so upset about it. My midwife today joked I should book a room in a pub so I can have as many people as I like with me for as long as I like

Hi OP

Recent Covid baby here. I came home earlier than I would have wanted because I found it so difficult that I was only allowed my partner to visit for 2 hours a day. The woman next to me on postnatal fell asleep feeding her baby a few hours after her c section and baby fell on the floor! Never would have happened if baby's dad had been allowed to help her for those first crucial few hours but he was sent home after three hours.

My partner was allowed to stay in the delivery suites but as soon as I went to the ward for recovery he wasn't allowed in. He also wasn't allowed with me until "active labour". I had declined internal examinations so they went off other assessment methods such as an ambulatory monitor and observation of contractions. Thankfully I kicked off to a doctor about him not being allowed with me (their policy was partners were allowed during all stages of labour but the midwife took it upon herself to deny me this) because baby came just four hours after labour started and I would have gone through the horrendous transition alone.

I’m really sorry OP that is just so unfair. I’m sick and tired of it all and I know everyone else is too. A mask in labour is absolutely ridiculous!

I am due tomorrow and got a midwife appointment, I think I will hear similar news? Do you mind sharing where about you are in the country? I keep reading different things about different hospitals.

I’m so sorry you received this upsetting news. I am angry for all of us and completely understand your point about going to football matches etc. Madness this all is!!

Take care.

@LuaDipa

I completely agree. No loving relative wants to expose someone they love to Covid, particularly not a newborn baby. They will be taking every precaution and I have no idea why they can’t accept proof of a negative test along with proof of vaccine or similar.

If numbers are rising we should be making face coverings and distancing compulsory again, not cutting people off from their friends and relatives when they need them the most.

They will absolutely not be taking every precaution. Plenty of blokes still pressuring women to have sex within a week of giving birth, or in pre-covid days, showing up drunk to visit the ward, or hanging around either obliviously or creepily right next to a nervous new mum with her boobs out trying to establish breastfeeding.

While I do see how it will be hard, my experience of partners would be that a majority would try to a least wear a mask, a sizeable minority would bring risk of covid to really vulnerable people.

I also think that there will be some benefits to partner-free wards, they'll be calmer, less awkward, and my friend who just had her 3rd and had to stay in said it was a surprisingly supportive environment, no visitors meant a bit more chatting and support between mums. It's crap, but soon you'll have a baby and the odds are really high that the first days will be a blur in all the lovely things (and the really hard things, but mostly lovely things) to come.

[quote Insertcharger]@herculesoffline If my husband and myself are both double vaxxed and can produce a negative PCR test then why can't it be used to allow him to see me and his baby? We are both isolating at the moment and both live in the same house. If he has it then I will likely have it too. If one of us are positive then fair enough, I agree we should restrict visiting.

@DuggeeHugPlease a mask when you are asleep? That's absolutely ridiculous! I wonder how quickly you can be discharged post birth. There's no way I want to stay if this is how you're treated.[/quote]
Yes I had to keep mask on until results of covid test came back (forgot about the joy of a swab being stuck up my nose in between contractions). Had a quick labour so didn't get the results until I had been on postnatal ward overnight.
Had to stay for 4 nights due to complications. Really hope all goes smoothly and you can get home quickly

@OverTheRubicon that might be true of some men but it's really unfair for those that want to support their partners and spend those precious first few days bonding with their new baby. They're not just visitors they are new fathers and should be allowed to be there.
I did find the other women on the ward more supportive and chatty than with my first birth but would have much preferred the support of my DH.

I am having this very same issue my daughter has been in hospital (well it's a rehabilitation unit for brain injuries) and I am allowed one hour a week and that's only recent. My poor young adult daughter sits alone all weekend with no visitors and nothing to do. She cries and I cry. It's truly heartbreaking and has driven me to the edge of feeling suicidal. These practices especially for pregnant mothers is barbaric.OP you are perfectly reasonable to feel distressed. I'm sorry.

[quote DuggeeHugPlease]@OverTheRubicon that might be true of some men but it's really unfair for those that want to support their partners and spend those precious first few days bonding with their new baby. They're not just visitors they are new fathers and should be allowed to be there.
I did find the other women on the ward more supportive and chatty than with my first birth but would have much preferred the support of my DH. [/quote]
Of course. But the rights of the babies, pregnant women and new mothers (and of staff and other patients) to stay healthy at a time when many will be extremely vulnerable outweigh the rights as new fathers to spend extra time.

For a second especially, many women don't have anyone there because of other children, and many others choose to go home when possible. Of course for some families with birth complications or trauma that's really different, and I do hope there's some flexibility there - but otherwise think that you can't allow all partners when so many already behaved so poorly even pre-covid, and there are people at risk.