Hospital has changed visiting rules

[Insertcharger]

I'm due to give birth in less than 1 week. My midwife told me today that due to rising covid cases, they are restricting visiting during and after birth again.

I'm so very sad about this. My husband will only be allowed in during active labour now and no visiting once I'm on the recovery ward. It's likely I will be needing a cesarean and the thought of recovering without his help and support for the duration of my hospital stay has turned me into an emotional wreck.

I understand many woman experienced this during lockdown and I really admire their bravery for doing so but we are no longer in lockdown. Will this ever end? If vaccines and negative tests are not enough then what is?

AIBU to think why the F can I go and watch a sports game or visit live music venue with hundreds or thousands of other people but my husband can't be at my side to support me though the birth of his child.

I do think making the mother wear a mask during labour is barbaric though. Or on the ward really. The fathers, sure.

[quote DuggeeHugPlease]@OverTheRubicon that might be true of some men but it's really unfair for those that want to support their partners and spend those precious first few days bonding with their new baby. They're not just visitors they are new fathers and should be allowed to be there.
I did find the other women on the ward more supportive and chatty than with my first birth but would have much preferred the support of my DH. [/quote]
Absolutely agree. And if all partners are asked to produce a negative pcr test and to wear a face covering the potential risks are minimised.

@plumdeplum

I am having this very same issue my daughter has been in hospital (well it's a rehabilitation unit for brain injuries) and I am allowed one hour a week and that's only recent. My poor young adult daughter sits alone all weekend with no visitors and nothing to do. She cries and I cry. It's truly heartbreaking and has driven me to the edge of feeling suicidal. These practices especially for pregnant mothers is barbaric.OP you are perfectly reasonable to feel distressed. I'm sorry.

I feel for you so much having recently been in the same position, we were slightly more fortunate in that our dd was under 18 in an adult hospital so legally had to allow one of us to be with her. The patients were just left watching the tv all weekend, as there is no rehab at the weekend. We were beside ourselves, she was only allowed in her room or the small garden and nobody was allowed any visitors. They were supposed to be in rehab for brain damage so couldn't completely understand what was going on. I don't know how that was allowed to happen tbh, how can patients recover whilst in bed watching the tv.

It's both ends of life. My 94yo dad was in hospital for over 3 weeks with no visitors. He is extremely frail with a week heart and failing kidneys. He could very easily just not wake up one day. My mum who has dementia couldn't cope with not being able and her mental condition has deteriorated rapidly. Now he is in a care home but we have to wait another 2 weeks before we can visit. Do that's 5 and a half weeks out of the very limited time they have left together.

I sympathise. Hopefully you'll be allowed visits. I had my ds last summer. He was early and we had to stay in hospital. My partner was there during birth but had to leave soon after and wasn't allowed to visit at all. He missed the early days of our first child's life. I would expect better now there are vaccinations.

I've had 2 emergency c-sections, and was discharged within 24 hours for both (well, just over, but that's just because they took forever processing the paperwork! I'd been chucked out of my bed already!)

Honestly I preferred it too - hospital was noisy, hot, the food was virtually non-existant, and for some ridiculous reason, the shower was up a good 8 inch step, through a 40cm sliding door and into the 80x80 cubicle for a luke-warm shower - funnily enough, that's a bit tricky post-birth with an abdominal wound. And don't even get me started on toilets that are so cramped you can't manouver yourself and what's left of your bump around the door/dispenser/bin.

I agree masks during labour is barbaric!

@Flittingaboutagain That poor woman and baby and poor you too

Recovery from childbirth and surgery is not only physical, a lot of it will be mental too and we should not be made to go through this alone. It opens up doors to a whole host of other problems that could easily be avoided.

@OverTheRubicon That's a very blanket statement to make about men. You could apply the same logic to the other women on the ward too. I'd much rather have my husband, who I am comfortable with there supporting me and his child than a bunch of strange women in the beds beside me or the overworked, understaffed maternity ward team.

I imagine it's as much to try & protect the workforce as anything. It's clear vaccines are not working (well, they are to some extent but not stopping you catching Covid) so the most reliable way to limit your chances of catching Covid is to seriously limit the amount of people you come into contact with.

I'm sure the hospitals can't afford any more staff to be off work ill, so this may be behind their policy. I know that it is a big part of the reason visitors are still not allowed at the hospital I used to work at (too protect patients too of course).

None of that stops it being shit & none of it makes it OK that you can go to a concert or football match with thousands of others without a mask but can't support your own partner when they need you the most.

I know it’s very sad and disappointing for you @Insertcharger and not what you were hoping for but you will get support from other women and it’s nice. There used to be a real sense of camaraderie on maternity wards and lifelong friendships were made. Your bloke can start his paternity leave when you get home so it will last a bit longer.

I completely understand your frustrations and anger. However as someone with whose DH is in hospital with an auto immune disease and would become extremely unwell if he came into contact with an illness like covid, I really appreciate that trusts are still being strict with visiting. It's not to punish you as new parents, it's to protect the people they currently have in their care.

I'm completely disgusted about how many were made to wear face masks during labour! As for forcing it while sleeping what the actual heck? That is completely wrong and could easily have triggered a panic attack in someone.

As far as I know is that all women are meant to be mask free during labour. I had heard about some hospitals making women wear them despite them having been told mothers didn't have to... usual power going to some midwives of a certain type.

I was hoping for a vaginal birth this time around and really wanted support during labour. I had to have a section with my last child under general and he wasn't allowed on the ward at all beforehand or afterwards so he wasn't in recovery when I was brought round. Little one had to go to special care and he wasn't allowed to go with little one so her first hours were missed out on.

They let him take a very quick photo on his phone as they went past but that was it. And it was announced to me when waking up that I had had a girl.... we didn't find out during scans as I always like finding out after labour.

I had to stay in longer as required another op while there and if I was at home would have been such a wait due to the already massively long op lists... the midwives were practically useless and I was left to get on with it whereas if he had been allowed in it would have been more beneficial for me as it has caused a lot of issues the lack of care etc when I was at my most vulnerable especially to do with past events etc.

I do understand that a lot prefer it that way as random males hanging around can and do make women uncomfortable especially when the staff insist on opening the curtains on the bay nonstop so zero privacy! Same as when noisy family members used to visit and didn't bother about their chair halfway in the next bay and bumping the baby's cot and baby waking up etc.

It is nasty though for anyone to be left feeling vulnerable and without proper support especially when it is needed the most. The staff cannot provide it as not enough staff and obviously less space due to needing to remove some beds from the wards due to Covid rules so they want people in and out etc but it is causing a lot of issues for mums and also it doesn't feel right to me that a dad cannot see his newborn baby.

I know some of what I've said is contradictory but it's one of those situations really...

I feel that partners/fathers should be allowed in labour suite when someone is in labour.

For someone to miss that and for a female to go through it without support isn't right at all.

I can understand the need for wards to be kept to a minimum. But I do feel strongly regarding labour. It's something that is not nice at all being missed out on.

I'm so saddened and angry reading all these stories. I'm so sorry you're nervous about next week op and really hope it all goes ok.

I'm not due until March and if someone makes me wear a mask during labour I will just refuse. The idea makes me feel ill and I will just point blank not do it, they can't throw me out onto the street.

Tell them you've decided to have a home birth so your husband can be there with you 😊

Sending big hugs OP. I was a March 2020 mum and these were my birth restrictions. So sorry to hear women are still going through this, its so wrong and makes me angry.

@99victoria

Tell them you've decided to have a home birth so your husband can be there with you 😊

Good call. What an excellent idea for someone who's likely to need a C section.

I wish people would stop comparing what they are able to do vs what hospitals are doing. Beds are stretched, there are covid patients and non-covid patients who need separating on wards and they are doing their best to keep the numbers down and stop patients getting Covid whilst they are there. They are trying to keep surgeries and appointments going and the best way to do that is limit the traffic through the hospital. It's crappy but necessary. It is not comparable to going and watching a sport or film vs possibly already unwell people!

My dh wasn't allowed to visit much on the ward either. I had c sections 8 years and 5 years ago. They want to keep it a quiet environment without hoards of people.

Yes you're absolutely right. The emotional experience of recovery is also really important and what happens in hospital sets the tone for the first few weeks at least.

Best wishes for a safe delivery and recovery.

Visiting is essential for both patient and family members in ALL procedures. Studies have proven that recovery times are reduced if patient is happier and supported by family/partner resulting in less time in hospital and less strain on nurses/staff. Covid has been around for a while now. Hospitals should have a process whereby partners of mothers due to give birth (or other procedures)can elect to have a pcr test and be present the whole time. There can still be restrictions but if I have been double vaccinated and pay for a pcr test or multiple pcr tests and provide proof there is no reason not to be able to visit. Staff in hospitals require vaccines and lateral flow tests. It seems only the medical institutions are slow to implement changes that can actually benefit the patient,the family and the hospital.

Masks in labour is a fucking awful concept

@eeyore228

I wish people would stop comparing what they are able to do vs what hospitals are doing. Beds are stretched, there are covid patients and non-covid patients who need separating on wards and they are doing their best to keep the numbers down and stop patients getting Covid whilst they are there. They are trying to keep surgeries and appointments going and the best way to do that is limit the traffic through the hospital. It's crappy but necessary. It is not comparable to going and watching a sport or film vs possibly already unwell people!

This seems like you are "for" hospitals attempting to protect their own staff rather than be patient focused. In the news now there are calls for mandatory vaccines for medical staff which indicates they have chosen not to / decided not to / or missed getting double jabbed up to date. But that's okay for staff to spread the disease as long as we limit it to only people in hospital. Partners and family members are definitely not allowed as they will spread the infection more than the unvaccinated nurse who visits 5 wards daily or the admin staff who is walking through the entire hospital. Apologies it just frustrates me to think that there could be a simple process in place that would massively benefit everyone including medical staff and reduce hospital stay therfore freeing up beds but it's not been done yet. I would happily self isolate, pay for and take multiple pcr tests to be with a loved one whilst they needed to be in hospital or during childbirth.