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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let DS skip school for this?

43 replies

Skiveornot · 09/09/2021 18:24

My best friend lives abroad and has a DC the same age as my DS.

They’re back for a visit and in our city for one day next Friday (children start older in her country so her DD isn’t in school yet). She suggested we take the kids somewhere special. Ds would love it, but feel very guilty about skipping school - I am a big rule follower!

Aibu to call in sick to school and let him skip to have a fun day?

Also, he’d tell on me, right?!?!

(DS is in early primary.)

OP posts:
Brollypackedforscottishholiday · 09/09/2021 18:26

Mental health days are a thing aren't they? Given Covid times I reckon ds's mh will be well boosted seeing his friends!!

Newnames123 · 09/09/2021 18:27

Do it but be honest with school.

ACloseMatch · 09/09/2021 18:29

Do it, but be honest with school. It will be unauthorised but it isn't something you'll be making a habit of!

Svolvaer · 09/09/2021 18:30

If you want to take him out of school for your friend’s visit do it - it’s one day at the beginning of term and he’s only little, I doubt he’ll miss anything vital. BUT please tell the truth, I work in a school and number of parents who call their children in sick on a Friday when the child has spent the week telling everyone at school they’re going to e.g. Centre Parcs for the weekend is ridiculous. The parent makes themselves look silly and it teaches the child that lying is ok.

Enjoy your day,

Original poster
Skiveornot · 09/09/2021 18:32

The school will be irritated with the request / truth, I think!! I was wondering if just calling in sick avoids that?

But then DS might just tell them the truth anyway and that’s awkward Confused

I was sort of thinking that if I did call in sick and let him skip, because it’s a Friday, the days might blend together in his memory and he might not say “On Friday I saw…” and instead say “On the weekend I saw…” (?!)

OP posts:
AFS1 · 09/09/2021 18:32

I would do it, but be honest with the school in advance. I’ve taken my kids out for holidays and once when my daughter had an inservice day but my son didn’t. I’ve always been upfront with the school, and although it’s been classed as unauthorised, the teachers have always been completely fine about it.

SweetBabyCheeses99 · 09/09/2021 18:32

Haha I used to say no way, but since lockdowns it’s clearly a completely moot point - go and have a fab time!

Di11y · 09/09/2021 18:32

Yeah don't call in sick. How old is your child?

Original poster
Skiveornot · 09/09/2021 18:34

@Svolvaer

If you want to take him out of school for your friend’s visit do it - it’s one day at the beginning of term and he’s only little, I doubt he’ll miss anything vital. BUT please tell the truth, I work in a school and number of parents who call their children in sick on a Friday when the child has spent the week telling everyone at school they’re going to e.g. Centre Parcs for the weekend is ridiculous. The parent makes themselves look silly and it teaches the child that lying is ok.

Enjoy your day,

Yes I am so concerned about this! I really don’t want him to think lying is ok or ask him to lie.

If we go, my plan is to not tell him it is happening until Friday morning so he doesn’t talk about it all week at school.

Do you get annoyed when people request days off like this?

OP posts:
AFS1 · 09/09/2021 18:34

I don’t think the school would be irritated by the request - I think they’d value your honesty.

Original poster
Skiveornot · 09/09/2021 18:35

@Di11y

Yeah don't call in sick. How old is your child?
He’s 6.
OP posts:
PumpkinPie2016 · 09/09/2021 18:36

I wouldn't personally but then I don't really agree with taking kids out of school unless they are genuinely too I'll to be there. I know many feel differently.

It's your choice ultimately -if you want to take him, you will.

Don't lie though. He will say where he has been. Kids can rarely keep a secret and it just looks daft when parents lie.

Brollypackedforscottishholiday · 09/09/2021 18:36

We took ds out the last Fri before the holidays to go camping. The only slot available at his favourite place. School wished us a great trip!!

Confused102 · 09/09/2021 18:39

I really wouldn't as I don't think this is a good reason to but if you do, then best to be honest with the school. It wouldn't be ok to ask ds to lie. I know it would be frowned on at our school as we have just come back from a very long school holiday. Also anyone can have all sorts of reasons - best friend, uncle, Granny so I don't think it's a good enough reason to miss school. But just check with the school first. Not all schools are so strict.

BeetyAxe · 09/09/2021 18:42

Do it- just don’t do it all the time. A once every few years scenario is more than acceptable. And yes just lie and if your DS tells laugh and say he’s got his days mixed up,silly sausage!

MMMarmite · 09/09/2021 18:42

I would skip it and tell the truth. I'm definitely not a rule follower! But wouldn't want my kid to feel pressurised to lie for me.

KateTheEighth · 09/09/2021 18:48

Don't lie.

If you want to take your child out of school then own that decision.

Don't come up with a load of bullshit that your kid has to play along with.

NumberTheory · 09/09/2021 18:52

I agree with others. Do it, but don’t lie about it.

Boredhimtodeath · 09/09/2021 18:57

Is he young enough to trick into thinking it’s Saturday? And then when he mentions it at school he will say on Saturday?

CottonSock · 09/09/2021 19:00

Tell then you are educating off site. Our school accepted that once. We did give some context of educational stuff done on day out. I've also called in sick once I think, but only up to about age 6.

Walkingalot · 09/09/2021 19:10

Years ago I won tickets to the Circus but it was an early afternoon performance in another town. I decided to tell school he had a dentist appointment and picked him up at lunchtime. I even told DS he was going to the dentist so he didn't blab.
Well, he was most upset that he didn't go the the dentist and kept saying 'Why did you lie to my Mummy?'. I felt awful! Blush. In hindsight, not a great example to set my DS.

I think it's better to tell school the truth and have it marked down as an unauthorised absence.

TheCanyon · 09/09/2021 19:15

I would. We took our dc out for a day before the summer holidays so they could see dhs family, it had been a long ass two years since we last saw them. School were told why and were totally fine.

underneaththeash · 09/09/2021 19:15

I definitely would. Opticians or dental appointment will surfice.

Branleuse · 09/09/2021 19:19

i would do it and call in sick to save them the paperwork

esloquehay · 09/09/2021 19:30

Do it, but definitely be honest. Have a lovely day with your friend.